Thought He Was Working on Commission.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2280, 29 September 1899, Page 4

Thought He Was Working on Commission.

The other day a policeman took a little street arab to the hospital who had been run over by an omnibus and was ' badly injured. The chaplain was sent for, as it was thought improbable that the boy would live many hours. With little tact, the chaplain began the interview thus : 4 My boy, the doctors think you are very much hurt. Have you been a good little boy ?' Boy (much bored): 'Here, old 'un, you take your hook and leave me alone.' Chaplain (shocked): ' But lam afraid that you are not a good little boy, and, you know, you may perhaps be going to die.' Boy (anxious to end the interview): ' Well, 'tain't none o' your business, any'ow. Wot's me death got to do wif you ? 'Ave you got a pal in the corffin line ?' He lever Called Again. 1 Young man,' he said, as he followed him out on the steps the other evening, ' I want to have a talk with you. You have been courting my daughter.' 4 Yes, sir. ' ' You think you love her ?' ' I know I do ' ' And you would fain bear her off to some woodbine cottage?' ' That is what I would fainest, sir.' • Ah—urn ! What is your salary 1' : Two pounds a week, sir.' ' Just so—take her. 1 was afraid you couldn't support us all on your wages, but it's all right. Hurry up things and get into the family in time to pay the next month's rent. You don't know what a relief it will be to us old folks to have someone to support us.' A Serious Defect. A hungry pedestrian had put up for the night at a wayside inn, and found the supper very scanty, the most sub stinitial part of it being a single sausage. With a fault finding look and gesture, hr called the innkeeper to his side. ' Is that the best you can do in the way of a sausage ?' asked the traveller. ' Why,' said the host, ' isn't it good ?' ' Oh, it's good enough, perhaps ; but the ends of it don't suit me.' 'Tin-ends! What's the matter with t hem <' ' Too near together,'said the hungry man, and the lnkeeper took the hint. The Whole Truth Clerk of the Court : 'Remember, my good woman, j'"U are on your oaih, and must speak the truth, the whole truth, j ami nothing but the truth." Mn. McCarthy: 1 Well, thin, out av jiniueiie.iH, I'd have kept it tn myself ; ihir if I must spake the whole truth—--are, thiii, ye're the ugliest man I've ivver set eyes on ! Could'nt See the Joke. 'My d ear,' he said to ins ladv love. I 'l've been busy all day—not manual labour, you know, but brain work. ! which is the hardest kind.' ■ Yes, indeed ; 1 know it must be for you,' she said, and there was a tender look of sympathy in h 1 r eyes which .tioused him. i