ANECDOTES OF JOSH BILLINGS.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 1521, 5 March 1886, Page 4

ANECDOTES OF JOSH BILLINGS.

Before I left New York I called on Josh Billings with an album and modestly solicited his autograph. He took it on bis knees, gave his month a comical twist, and wrote. — "Thrice is he armed who hath his quatTels just."—The Bard of Avon. "And four times he wh.i gets his blow in fust."—J. Billings Josh was extremely fond of animals and bad a cat in his bouse at Albany which he gravely addressed as « Willism." I suggested that that was a dignified name for puss, as cats were usually called " Tom " or " Tib," or a quick, short cognomen. •' Bat that's a special, swell, blueblooded specimen of the feline race, I wish you to know," rejoined the humourist. " Recently, poor fellow, he has had fits, and since then I call him • Fit 7, William *" When Ruber i>tei n . was over here he was presented to Jos K and the pianist was careful to impress ton American with accounts of the rulility of his ancestors. My tar:u>,' said he lofti'v, " trof-F e k to the ume of the Crusaders. My researches in this direction enabled me to discover that one of my ancestors accompanied the Emperor Barbarossa." Josh srailed, and affecting to be immensely impressed, immediately remarked" On the piano, of course." A story is told of the humourist being thrown on one occasion among a batch of students in a country town near New Haven. He was tramping alorg with a rusty yellow dog, and entered the bar room of a hotel for some refreshments. A group of the Tale lads chanced to be there on a frolic, and immediately interviewed Billings, whom thev evidently mistook for a farmer. They inquired with affected interest after the health of his wife and children, and Josh, with counterfeited simplicity, gave them a graphic account of his family and farm.

44 Uf course you belong to the church ?" asked one of the boys. " Yes, the Lord be praised, and my father and grandfather before me.'"

14 Now, I inppcse you would not tell a lie?" said one of the students. - Not for the world."

" What aill you take for that dog ?" pointing to Josh's cur, which was crouching beneath his chair. M I won't take 2'- dols for that dog." "Twenty d<llais! Why, he's not worth 20 cents."

" I assure J would not take 20 dols.

for him."

44 Come, my friend,* said the student, who, with his companions, was bent on having some fun with the old man. 44 Now, you say you won't tell a lie for the world. Let me see if you will not do it for 20 dollars. 11l give you 20 dollars for your dog." 44 I'll not take it."

" You will not ? Here I let me see if thia will not tempt you to lie," added tho student, producing a small bag of h»lf dollars which bo built up into Mall piles on the table. J oak was sitting by tho table with his hat in kia hand, apparently unconcerned. " There," added tiio student, 41 there are twenty dollars, all in silver: I will {ire jou that for the animal." Josh

quietly nisedbig hat tq tbe edge ol the table, and, 49 a,s scraped all the money into it except one naif dollar, and then exclaimed

" I won't take jour twenty dollars Nineteen and a half is as much as that dog it worth ; he is your property !" A tremendous shout from biafellowstudei.ta clearly showed the would-be-wag that he was completely sold and that he need not look lor sympathy from that quarter, so he good-natured-ly acknowledged himself beaten.— Philadelphia Times