HOW TO FIND A WOMAN'S POCKET.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 885, 1 December 1874, Page 3

HOW TO FIND A WOMAN'S POCKET.

The most difficult thing to reach is a woman's pocket. This is especially the case if the dress is hung up in a closet, and the man is in a hurry on such an occasion. The owner of the dress is in the sitting room serenely engrossed in a book. Having told him that the article he is in quest of is in her dress pocket in the closet, she has discharged her whole duty in the matter, and can afford to feel serene. He goes at the task with a dim consciousness that he has been there before, but says nothing. On opening the closet door and finding himself confronted with a number of dresses, all turned inside out, and presenting a most formidable frout, he hastens back to say " Which dress?" and being told the brown one, and also asked if she has so many dresses that there need be any great effort to find the right one, he returns to the closet with alacrity and soon has his hands on the brown dress. It is iuside out, like the rest —a fact he does not notice, however, until he has made several ineffectual attempts to get his hand into it Then he turns it around very carefuly, and passes over the pocket several times without" being aware of it. A nervous movement of his hands, and an appearance of perspiration on his forehead are perceptible. He now dives one haud in at the back, and feeling around, finds a place and proceeds to explore, when he discovers that he is following up the inside of the lining. The nervousness iucreases, also the perspiration. He twitches the dress on the hook, and suddenly the pocket, white, plump and exasperating, comes to view. Then he sighs the relief he feels, and is mentally grateful he did not allow himself to use any offensive expressions. It is all right now. There is the pocket in plain view—not the inside, but the outside—and all he has to do is to put his hand right around in the inside and take out the article. That is all. He can't help but smile to think how near he was to getting mad. Then he puts his ahand round to the othe side. He does not feel the opening. He pushes a little further—now he has got it—he shoves the hand down, and is very much surprised to see'it appear opposite his knees. He has made a mistake. He tries again ; again he feels the entrance and glides down it only to appear again as before. This makes him open his eyes and straighten his face. He feels the outside of the pocket, pinches it curiously, lifts it up, shakes it, and after peering closely about the root of it he says, " By Gracious!" and commences again. He does it calmly this time, because hurrying only makes the matter worse. He holds up breadth after

breadth, goes over them carefully, gets his hand first into a lining, then into the air again it alwiys RMrp-ises him when it appears), and finally into a pocket, and is about to cry out with triumph, when h< j discovers that it is the pocket to anotli n l* dress. He is rna l now; the clo:;efc air almost titles him; he is so nervous that he can hardly contain himself, and the pocket looks at him so exasperatiugly that he cannot help but " plug" it with his clenched fists, and immedia'ely does it Being somewhat relieved by this performance, he has a chance to look about him, and sees that he has put his foot through a bandbox, and into his wife'fe bonnet —has broken the rim to his Panama hat which was hanging ih the same closet, and torn about a yard of bugle triming from a new cloak. As all this trouble is due directly to his wife's infatuation in hanging up her dresses inside out, he immediately starts after her, and impetuously urging her to the closet, excitedly and almost profanely intimates his doubts of there being a pocket in the dress, anyway. The cause of the unhappy disaster quietly inserts her hand inside the robe, and directly brings it forth with the songht-for article in its clasp. He dosen't know but this makes him madder than anything else.—Banbury News.