YOUTHFUL HOWLERS

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXVI, Issue 3440, 8 March 1932, Page 7

YOUTHFUL HOWLERS

LAST YEAR'S LIST. The annual list of "howlers" furnished by "The University Correspondent" of Cambridge is always entertaining. Here is a selection from this year's list: — Solomon had 100 wives and 200 cucumbers. Composition are of bringing loose ideas into a complication. The mineral wealth of this country is soda water, iron jelloids, lemonade, ginger beer, etc. Question: "Of whom was it said that he never smiled again?" Answer: "Of Charles I. after his execution." Explain "Every shepherd tells his tale under'the hawthorn in the rale." "All shepherds are down in the valley making love to the girls:" "Form a verb from suspicion?" "I suspish." 4 The rotation of the earth means that the world turns on its own abscess. Though the world revolves from west to east it doesn't revolve from north to south, hence the seasons. The Russians were not allowed to keep a standing army on the Black Sea. Under the Habeas Corpus Act a man was not allowed to be imprisoned any longer than his first trial. Edgar Wallace was chosen King of Scotland by Edward I. We do not fall off the earth because there is no end to it. The Torrid Zone is caused by the friction of the Equator, which runs round the earth' in the middle like a piece of rope. Teacher: "What order of knights owe their origin to the Crusades?' Pupil: "The Good Templars, now called the Blue Ribbon Army, who are never seen drinking only tea and cocoa." AD. —After Daniel. "Who was the 'Merry Monarch'?" "Old King Cole." Grammar lesson on masculines and corresponding feminlnes. Teacher:

"What is 'she'?" Pupil: "The objective of 'he'." "I liked the part where William the Conjuror was crowned King of England." (Written in a letter in school.) St. Andrew is the patent saint of Scotland; the patent saint of England is the Union Jack; the patent saint of Ireland is Blarney. The Eiffel Tower is an old Roman wall separating England from Scotland. Of all the animals that God placed upon earth none is more noted in history than the spider, because it marched Bruce's army into battle. Joan Dare was the person who sailed the world with Noah during the Flood. An alkali is a substance obtained by boiling Arabs in a poi This manure is good for dry soils and irritated meadows. Arsenal is a kind of poison. A curve is a straight line which has been bent. Q.E.D. means "quod est desperandum." The stars appear to move in a straight line round the moon. "What is the Milky Way?" "The way you feed infants." Lack of vitamins will give rise to crickets. Rain water coming into contact a round or oval tin will give rise to mosquitoes. Tides are a mystery known only to God. And as a mystery is above reason nobody knows what tides are. Tin is obtained by smelting down old tins. A machine in science is anything that does work on its own after you have worked many horse-power to make it do what it has to do at all. When a bad smell is smelled the smell acts on the legs and the muscles force the legs to hurry away quickly. Skim milk comes for a young cowin the summer and condensed milk from an old cow in winter.

A polygon is a man. with more than one wife, but an Englishman is not allowed to be a polygon, for his wife brings him up for It.