CHRISTMAS CHEER

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 29, 11 December 1930, Page 4

CHRISTMAS CHEER

She was going away for Christmas, and had sent for a cab to convey her and her .belongings to the station. ' y.. •{; : Much to cabby's disgust his vehicle had been piled sky-high with a miscellaneous assortment of her most cherished belongings, but the task of loading came at Iqngth to an end. ;"is that really all?' ' he4 inquired with polite incredulity. ' 1' Yes,»» wasi'/the ireply, (<that^s all;"l The cabman looked surprised.''<■* Seems j a pity," he ejaculated;, with sardonic humour, "to leave the doorsteps'behind, don'fit, mumf" A" Scotsman who recently arrived at Petone, was. invited by a ffiiend to have ,i a game of cards. <After playingvseveral hands the Scotsman found himself the loser by thirtyji^shillings, and mournfully rose from, his chair. "Don't go yet, old man," begged his host. 'l stay for supper —we havea spanking ham.. "Nay, nay, replied the visitor sadly "I couldna eat thirty shillings' worth of ham. >>:) Mrs A's little soi* suddenly asked in a rather startled voice: "Mamma, is there bay rum in this bottle!/* V ;■.*■* Mercy, no, dear. That's topeacle..^' "Oh! "eaid the boy.^Tl*en Rafter a , minute of silence. "Perhaps that's the reason I can't get my hat off." 'How was the house-dance last nightf/ «'Oh, the lighting" defects were wonderfull" • One day Willies mother found her young .Hopeful holding his pet rabbit by the ears. From' tittte to time he would give Bunny- a violent,/shake and demand sharply, ' Two plus two? Two plus two?' or 'Three plus three! Three pins threef "Why, Willie," asked his mother with deep coaeernl, "what makea ' you treat poor little Bunny that "wayl"

"Well," replied Willie, greatly disappointed), '' teacher told us in school today that rabbits multiplied very fast, but this bunny can't even add." A Sunday-school teacher persuaded a friend to take his place one Sunday, explaining to the substitute that all he had to do was to read the questions on the leaflet. "Now boys, what practical lesson may we learn from this parable f " He-hadn't the faintest notion himselfaoad as- t eae^, y oungster dubiously shook, his he&d^tho(teacher began to grow nei> vous. But, to his relief, the last boy *s; face showed he had an answer. v ' * Please sir, 'I think it means that if you put now religion into an old'mail, it will bust him." An affected Petone damsel was grumbling about her latest photograph. "You know, I've never had a photo taken that did me justice," she de.elareaV ' ■■■■.&. ; ...■ ■■ - ■ '■;■ ; - .-■ ■> ■'■' ■' 1' Well touch wood! * * replied her candid friend. "You boy, over in the corner! " cried the schoolmaster. Theboy over in the corner shot up like; a bolt. ~ Answer this,*' continued) the school-i master: "Do we eat the flesh of the whalel" , /'Y-y-yes/.sirj^ faltered the scholar., f'■ And what , } r pursued the master, "do we do with the bones V 1 '■'. •'Why, sir,'* responded the boy, "we leave them on the. sides of our plates." Husband (at'dinner) : "By George, this is a regular banquet. Do you expect company f Wife: 'No but the cook does. tOO. . ' -' "'f :'•