Miscellaneous.

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7620, 18 December 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

Miscellaneous.

„, ■•• j * : -~ . — ■ ■''/ '■■■■",' ''■- GODRTSHI? UNDER DIFFI- ■:-..'..,.; .CULTIES. ... ; ■ '' Uproariously would Abour laugl; '-' • " : •when he told this Btory ; and as he tolc ■'. „ it pretty of ten, ond his listeners were all '." './ . 'expected to laugh with him, it has been •':'■ .: chuoklodovet in Hb time as ,much as any ''■ '-'.'• ;. story could reasonably expect to bo.^ ■■ "'. '■".•;■ •'; When he was oourting Polly ChaffinS • ,- : . (a. staid matron of forty % now, with a ■ • ■ wide parting to her froht, but a skittish, : ■■; i." kitten- like creature at thatday as any in ■ ' r Camdeu Town),, he was dreadfully ■.'•,;"• 'cisewasei'io his mind how to get the •-..'.■ bettor vf a rival— a long, lanky, .woak- '.; ' 'ey«d fellow .{"lrotty Foster." they „,'•. called him),' who 'taught in a day-schooJ, -', ■ \y&hd played the flute. # . .'sS-'. -He wassofirmly convinced that Polly '/ ./. preferred ihia Foster, that his life was a A burden to him. When pressed for to -A' grounds on whioh he formed that „ ' ' opinion, he was wont to anßwet^ ' ' ' . '" He plays the flute-. , : ; ••• ' •'One -day Jnttk' chanced to encounter ' .. Polly in Piocadilly, where he worked at .' - \a taxidorinißt's. Like the gallant fellow -;- 'he was, Tie enticed her to pattafee,o{ •"- .".aeyetal ices and a tart or tVro.. His .'; -' '','. generosity, or. the ices or the 'tarts, or '•'-' '.tboth,.looßened Polly'B gli^> little tongue, \-< ' foi she let him into a 'secret. r ; .: . ..Mr Foster had promised to give her a „'.' l oerenado'.bencßth her window. ( ;•.''.' v ':, -"Thsn confound . his impudence S" ';,"",' "Oricd Jock, who had aiyague notion that ..' ,"-.'"!* serenade -was a kihd'of." lady's cop- ". Eaniobi" with soisaqra and", reels and ' : needles' all complete.; " What right has \ 1 , ' be' to make you'pre'sento, I should like 'to know— ond beneath- your, window,' „- ;too?" ..'.'■: . V . . ■ .■• - ■ -Tolly^s morry laugh rang out Bhiitly. - ' •".' "You silly follow'! " sho naid. " What .■• an ignoramus you are ■!" . ■ ' . . ■ ■ ' And she explained the meaning of the word, and made' poor Jack as jealous as V Othello; ' -.',« ,;' .When she parted from himatßogonVs ; Circnsii she confided' to him — ob> 80 ..- prettily—that she could never, never ' . . caTe for ft man who had go music in his fioul, which- was anything but balm to ■;. poor Jack's wounded spirit. • ' ■. " I'll spoil his caterwauling to-night, v'j . if- 1 die for it," Jack, determined, as he ■ . . fiercely dusted a scarlot fiamtngo at. the '■• .'- Bhop'tb'at.af«ernooD. ' -. '-'.Be was bo very, vexed and hurt that ..'>'.!■ be really' felt aa if h8 owed a grudge to v.,' every bird, beast, and fish in his master'a ./; possession. Imagine an angry Noah in -"-; the ark, and you will have a fairly clear ': • Sdea how Jack looked in tho taxidermist's chow-room. ' j: . • ♦ * ( • * *. "/'• ' The Camden Town clocks were wrang- •..'■ ,/liri^ anerit tho hour of raidniglir, with a ,'■ score of different voices— aoino quick arid ; r sharp, some alow and solemn — as tho '•'; lengthy Foster, bis flute in his pocket, l " Vaud . his , tearb in a flutter, cautiously '. ' Burmounted the gsrden wall in the rear :'■;'','" of the dwelling which Polly brightened vAu with nor presence. '.;■; ,"He peered fearfully about him. There '■'".-.' is a strange blond-curdling sensation in '.'. connection, with- treeJiaSß in another's '.'■ .-garden in the doad of night, wbioh ' : ordinary nerves cannot contend with. , :'• '"N-h-no one seems about, I ' whispered '... Foster,' a Bhiver passing down his yard-, j . . and-a-balf of spine. "But it'll bo safer ■ z : r ,in Ao tree, and more comfortable too." »■•■-•' ' 'There was one good sturdy tree in the '.-T, garden, f ßnd only one. •It was an ancient '! :, pear.'add stodd' iaolated in tha ceutre o£ ''„ aj'cpafse patch of scrubby graßs known :,; r ao4 always alluded to in, that neighborv / hood r.a the " lawn." '. Beated.aatride a^ thick branoh, with his ' long lego twisted intricately beneath him> I'r'.Mr Foster .felt 'at 'loaßfc fifty per cent. .'more self-aRRUrod than be had done on ;. ' the ground below, -though the pulses of ■■ "■ liis heart 'pereistied' in making themselves 5 unpleasantly, audible. ' •-■- "Oh, sweet being ! " said Mr Foster, ■ - . .spoßtrpphi&ins a certain window, behind •y tho panes of whioU.Ohaffins^peii^Bnd- ••. tiitre ■ anored in chorus— "sweet being, •'..: dost thou aleep ?" : . ' r Having by this query, which he con- .,' , sidered very neatly put, let off a little of •M\9 superabundant sentiment, Mr Foster ' ■ , blew a long sentimental G out of hia .. '. instrument and paused. ' • ; How dreadfully dear a G sounds in 4ho stillness ef the night— louder than a •■ ; railway whistle, and twice as raelan--1 i-choly! , : •, ■ ■. : Timorosly, and trembling at overy ' . note, the unhappy Foster whispered out >„, a little prelude, and waa unspeakably .- relieved, when he came to the end of it. . , 'But the serenade proper was to borne yet, when he must trust to tho -to humana for effect. There was the rub. •",''' Summoning up ail ' his courage, with V , a mighty gulp of resolution poor Foster f lifted up his creaking voice, and< sung the first verse, written and composed by . .. himsslf. Arise \ Awake ! adored Polly, Slumber now is surely folly, i The harvest moon is wading through . ' . . the sky— # ■ (He never, recollected having noticed the moon wade, as far as his own exiperienca -went; but the phrase bad a, .poetical, twang' about it, and he let it ■ . poefl.) • ; Open your too-jealous casemont • •. i To your lover on tho basement, . . And roy— Just at this point the eound of an ". ■ opening window struck sharply on the . singer's ear, and his worda died away in ' : a quaver. • He heard the msty voice of ■ -- old Ohaffins growl a remark condemn a> ,--' • tory of all cats, und then tho wiudow closed with a bang. And that was allJ < No Polly !_ No response to his melodious outpourings ! ' A dreadful suspicion contracted his very , soul. Polly must sleep in front of the house, '. and he had beon fooling away a mortal ■' hour in serenading her father. ■ Hick at heart he prepared to descend. "His other verses, so fondly cherished an ■ hour ago, wore worthless to him now. . Better that they should not have been penned at sll than that old Obaffius should inißtake them for the howling of feline marauders. However, there was . nothing for it hut to heat a retreat, ' . . This was the more necessary, as the moon was rising, and his lanky form, might become an excellent mark to those having a ready way of disposing -.i of trespassers. So be disentangled his cramped legs, and prepared to deßcend. He let himself down as best he could, / when Ob, horror! As he set foot on the lowest branch, i bis startled eyes rested on an object which waa plainly visible in a patch of moonlight below him, whioh caused his blood to curdle and his heart to suspend opßrationß. Sitting there calmly on the grans bolow was a huge, tawny, lierce-looking beast, with eyes glittering in the moonlight, and distended mouth, showing huge fangs, gleaming white and hideous. A spasm convulsed poor Foster's whole frame as ho comprehended that in another moment ho might have felt the creature's fangs in his quivering flesh. Bo was too much alarmed to take careful note ; but he Baw enough of the ferocious monßter. He bbw its red .. hungry mouth, its gleaming teeth, and its glittering eyobiills fixed so ravenouoly on him, nnd Bhudderingly regaiued hia porch, high, high up in tho boughs, with every nerve in him unßtrung. He felt ho would rather awing his logs there all through the weary night than brave the chances of that d road ful quadruped's Hashing fangs meoting in them. One o'clock — two" o'clock — three o'clock chimed out, and still tho hungry animal with tho lolling tonguo kept guard- at the foot of tho tree, and • the

luckless eerenader trembled in branoheai Four— five— six— seVeto. Foster's weak ayes were steamed a: bloodshot with his night's watoh j ai his body; damp with morning dow, * shaken momentarily with a shiver whi threatened to rend him to pieces, aioro pitiful subject the sun never to upon. And still tho creaturo .with ti yellow-flashing orta netei' tjuitted i post of observation. '.' Polly, Polly! " almost shrieked tl miserable Foster, as he caught sight her passing in an open window on oi of the landings. . . She looli'e'd out, gave a little scream i Burpri36, and hastened into tho garden " Whoso big dog ia that 1 and ha\ you boon there all night ? and .what ,ai you looking so scared about P " oekt Polly, all in a breath, as she tripped U] "For mercy's sake go back ! " yelle the treed musician. " You'll be eate alive by that savage brute, if he sec you-"" .... '"Ifor, Mr Foster,' you- must b blind!" tittered dimpled Polly,, wh had been examining the Btern "Don't you know what it >'sP' Can' you fte'e Ihat it Is only stuffed P " You should have seen the oruolly-sol Foßtev lower hia six feet of manhood ou of that pear tree when he heard thes blessed words. .You should have see; him crawl away, with hiß heart full o ahanio and b't'erae6s ond his lirMbs ful of cramp. Jaok Arbour, who was hidinj near at liand, avers ho never saw any thing so comic in his whole life; bu then, you know, Jack waa an interested party. • As for, the faithless Polly, she gigglec at the man who bad roosted all night ot a branch for her sake. Such is woman ! However, it didn't matter. Thej never saw anything more of tho illstarred Tro'tty Foster in Caniden Town after that ni«hfr, and therb was nci further, iujpodiinenj; to 3?ollys union with Jack Arbour, who, whenever he 'tolls tho stoVy iv his own house, poiuts to a small and mangy-looking stuffed lioDess, which lurks in one corner of his snug ■lit tie parlour, and says : " There, Bir. That's the animal that united Polly and me in the bonds of connubial felicity ! '' And Polly .blushes, and says, " John ! "