The New Whisky Tax.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 3, 14 June 1887, Page 4

The New Whisky Tax.

“Tam McVioar," a Midlothian shepherd, writes to Moonshine, the London comic paper, on the subject ot the now whisky tax :— Is it no awfu’ calamity (he writes) that has befau'n us? Just look a; this noo. I hae been counting up what it has come tae for the last week, and this is hoo I mak’ it oot—at a penny on the gill and tippence on the half-mutchkin t— Monday.—A half gill to wash awa' the effects of a dry sermon, Jd; mid-day, a gill to wet ma lips for dog whistlin’, being oot after the sheep, Id; forgatherin' wi the neebors, twa gills, 2d; mair dog whistlin', a gill, id. Tuesday.—A wet morning, a gill, Id (there being some holes in ma plaid); dog whistlin' thro’ the day, twa gills, 2d; consoling wi’ Jock Macdonald over the loss o' his wife, fauer gills, id. Wednesday. —Market day—forgatherin ’s, sax gills, 6d; dog whistlin', twa gills, 2d ; Gills wi’ folk I hae mae mind 0’ whatever, 4d; Gill wi’ the man that sang “ Auld Lang Syne," Id. Thursday.—A gill to try and bring to mind whaur I peeled my knuckles in a polletical argument, Id; introducing Jock Macdonald to a likely lass to mak’ his second wife, twa gills, 2d; sundry dog whistlin’s, twa gills, 2d. Friday.—Among the sheep, fortifyin’ mysel' for Jock Macdonald’s wife’s funeral in the afternoon, twa gills, 2d; anither on the road to keip mysel’ frae greetin' for the poir body, Id; dog whistlin, Id ; the funeral, sax gills, 6d. Saturday.—To keep the mist oot 0’ mt plaid, the holes no being mendit, a gill, Id; giein’ in the banns for Jock Macdonald’s marriage, fauer gills, 41; dog whistlin’ and forgatherin,s, three gills, 3d. Sunday.—The Sabbath Day—A wee drap to clear ma throat for crying on ma dog,' a gill, Id ; anither at Luckie’s when the bells are ringin’, Id; some brandy, so as no to be takin’ the smell 0’ whuskey into the Lord’s Hoose, Id; a drap to digest the sermon, 2 gills, 2d. Total: 4s 4|d. Noo, there ye are for extra taxation in ane week for mysel’, fauer and fa’er-pence ha’penny, and only one funnerl in’t 1 Guid save us 1 what will it come tae when ma wife Mirty’s washin’ days are considered ?