AMERICANS

Evening Star, Issue 26154, 16 July 1947, Page 4

AMERICANS

In Lighter Vein

(By Katiti), 1 do not mean those troops, sailors, and airmen we had here during the war—they seemed quite a different race—but 1 refer to the horn-rimmed spectacle, cigar-smoking, go-ahead businessmen oi an undefined, period in the past. You’ve all heard of them indirectly, but nq one seem# to have met them. ■ One wanted to dig a canal through South Dunedin to make the city a deepwater port without the trouble of having to hring ships all the length of Otago Harbour. He didn’t want any payment either; they were all altruistic. He was quite willing just to accept the ear.a! dues for 50 or 100 years—or something like that. The idea was rejected for the peninsula might announce itself to be an island, set up its own government, and deolare war on New Zealand.

Then there was that other chap who wanted to sluice away the lulls between Dunedin and Green Island to give the city an outlet on the flat. All he wanted was the soil he moved as lie was going to build additions to White Island, off St. Clair, and to run ft cabaret outside the three-mile limit. The idea was dropped” as it would make the Caversham tunnel a suspension one.

Another wanted to'* hollow out the hill between Princes street and Kaikorai to make a mushroom farm, but this was turned down as it might interfere with the roots on the Town Belt, and, anyhow, there would be sure to bp trouble with squatters « Tim suggestion to turn' the Leith along George and Princes streets and to call Dunedin the Venice of the South was another one But the City Council would not have it on. They did opt want the Japanese Navy sailing up the main street, and the taxinmn objected as timy did not know starboard from port. Why not import some dust and flies and call Dunedin the Cairo of the South? The piping of hot air from Parliament to Duned'h was thought to be wrong in principle as it would upset the balance of nature.

These Americans had the right ideas; pity tlm.v were not allowed to carry them out