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“ THOU SHALT NOT SWEAR.” A Goi ipressman had a Southern cook, who never failed to take him to task for tile intemperance in language that was one of his failings. One dav she- accidental!y let fall a tray full of Wishes. The politician, hearing the crash of chmawarc, lost his temper a.nd bis command of his tongue. •• Whats’ all that you’re breaking in there?” he asked angrily, adding many additional words that shocked the aged mammy. Coming to the door, sho looked the. angry man squarely in the eyes, and shot at him ; “ Whatever *tis I’s breakin’, it ain’t de Third Coinma ndment.” A LOST CHARACTER. The captain of a steamer, while loading at Burntisland, took cm two hands—one a Kirkcaldy man, who was without a written ‘‘character.” and another, a Dundee. man who had abundance of documentary evidence art to his honesty and uprightness. '’they had not been long at sea when thev encountered rough weather, and the Dundee man. while crossing the deck with a, bucket in his hand, was swept _ overboard. The Kirkcaldy man isaw what had happened, and sought tho capta in. “Dae ye mind yon man frae Dundee,” he asked, "that ye engaged wi’ the fine character?” ••Yes,” replied the captain. ‘‘What of it ?” “Wed, he's rin a.wa’ wi’ yev bucket!” A GERMAN DELICACY. An amusing scene was recently witnessed in a Cincinnati machine shop on the occasion of the retirement, after a service of 30 years, of a valued and faithful employee.” In consideration of his long service, ihe company had arranged to give him a- purse of money, and it fell to the lot of the superintendent, who was a German, to make the presentation speech. This is how ho managed it: “Gustave, you haf vorkod tor dis company over 50 years, yes?” A bow from the expectant recipient of the purse. “Und now yon are going to quit, yes!” Another and lower bow. ‘‘Veil, Gustave, der company is so glad of it dot 1 had been asked to hand you deso hundred dollars.”

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THE STORY TELLER, Issue 15699, 13 January 1915

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THE STORY TELLER Issue 15699, 13 January 1915

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