MIRTH-MAKING AT SEA
AMUSING "NEWSPAPER " FROM
To relieve the dull period of waiting for the German fleet to come out and tight, an unofficial org it of 11.M.5. Natal, the ' Natal Newsletter,' is providing interest and iiiuiu'cincnt for the British warships guarding the North Sea. The issue dated September 12, is a chirpy little cyclo-style periodical of eight pages, containing ail the usual features. It .has a pictorial frontispiece based on a well-known picture, "Alas, my poor brother!' So that its moaning may be clear it is explained with some'elaboration that "The Kaiser is represented as standing upon the safe side of the grocery department. He can give no more than sympathy to bis poor lone, bottled off brother: The tear is caused by his own prospects. Rotten collection of ideas, Lift it? But that doesn't matter so loop; as we've got the German Emperor and the Fleet in. No respectable iutirn.'d can go to press without them now.' The back pag« is occupied by an advertisement which may be reproduced : Johnny Bull. The Spirit of Nelson's Age. Still Coing Strong, 1805—1914. The Tonic with a Healthy " Bight." Genuan Fleet It bottled scpiare. Knocked the Kaiser Everywhere. To be obtained at the sign of "The Hon Duke." or Harry Thuscr and Co. Among the comments and news items are the following : Water, water, everywhere, and not a ship to sink. The combination of "' L " class of destroyers and Heligoland seems to make a of a mix up. Press Bureau. Germans in Paris. Press Bureau (later). Last message should read : ' Germans in plaster of Paris.' The doings of the Fleet for the past fortnight arc; a piohihited topic-, so may not be discussed. In writing home it >s best to say: 'Dear Belinda,—Very busy this week. See last Thursday s papers.' The bewilderment of the Fleet at the news of the war ashore is represented in an article headed ' Poldhu and Norddeutsch.' It says:— The daily Press messages are as like unto each other ;is the Harris sausage and its German kinsman. The component parts arc theoretically similar, but mysteriously different. When Poldhu says the Cmptcenth Army Corps got n good-sized dent in tho front rank, Norddmitsch telle, us that the Tiddley-t'm-Pom Hussars added another glorious paragraph to ' Willie's War Book.' Both armies capture the same towns several times weekly. Just like 'Beggar my Neighbor.' Until everything js over and Conau Doyle has written a book about it we shan't know who has won. P.S,—No news of the High Sea Fle-'t in cither. In the poetry column there, is the following, beaded". ' Welcome, William.' Are vou ever coining out. ' Kaiser Bill 7 You'll get an awful clout. Kaiser Bill : It'll stop \onr wild blaspheming. Vour planning and your scheming, For that Empire Vou've been dreaming, Kaiser Bill : . . There's a nice <lenr stretch of Ocean, Kaiser Bill: It's a lovely soothing lotion, Kaiser Bill : So if you're feeling chronic Come outside and have a tonic, We'll treat you awful joniek, Kaiser Bill. It may be explained that "Joniek" or " jannock " is u North and West Country adjective which is usually interpreted in the sense of "straightforward."
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MIRTH-MAKING AT SEA, Evening Star, Issue 15669, 7 December 1914