WHO KILLED THE KAISER?
[By Richard Mortoni] Who killed the Kaiser? “ I,” said Vanity ; “ CoupUd with Insanity, I killed the Kaiser.” All the Unprotected Nations fell a-sob-bing and neighing When they heard that Kaiser Bill was dying, When thev heard of the death of Kaiser Bill Who helped to slay him? *■ I,” said Albert of Brussels; “In the, course, of one or two tussles I helped, to slay him.” All the Ghosts of Martyred Mothers were a-sobbing and a-sighing When they heard that the Butcher of Babes was dying. Who caught hie blood? “I,” said Servia; “Who could be> nervier? I caught his blood.” All the Independent States were a-sobhing and a-sigb.ing When they heard that the War Lord of Europe was dying. Who’ll dig his grave? “I,” said Tear Nicholas. “ He wanted to tickle us; I’ll dig his grave.” All the Dum-dum Bullet Fakers were a-sobbing and a-sighing When they heard that the Prussian Barbarian was dying.” Who'll make hie shroud? “ I,” said Italy. “ He loved me so—bitterly; I’ll make his diroud.” .VII the Arts and Sciences were a-sobbipg and a-sighing When they' heard that the Ruffian of Bheinis was dying. Who'll mike his coffin? “ I.” said King George. “ His crimes raised my gorge ; I’ll make bin coffin.” All the Jack Tars and Tommies were a-sobbing i.ncl a-sighing When they heard that the Admiral of the Atlantic w.is .lying. Who'll Rend a wreath? “ L's,” raid Messrs Krupp* “ He kebt gun brices up ; V'f vil! /cad dcr wjeaf.” All the Armament Contractors were a-sob-bing and a sighing tVh»n tney heard that tho Man of Blood and Iron was dying. Who’ll preach the e-muon? “I,” said Poincare. ” Freedom shines like a star ray ; I'll preach the sermon.” .-Ml Alsace and Lorraine were a-sobbing and a-sighing When they heard that the Prince of their Clay was dying. Who’ll write Iris obituary? “ We,” said the German Press. ”We can pile on the lies, hein, yes! WaTl write his obituary.” Ananias and Sanphira were a-sobbing and a-sighing When they heard that the Prince of their Trade was dying. Who’ll carry the pall? “I,” eaid Japan. “ I want to help all I can; I’ll carry the pall.” All the Friends oi Liberty were a-eobbing and a-sighing When they heard that tho Enemy of Democracy was dying. Who'll be chief mourners? “ We,” raid Keir fiardie and Ramay Mac- " There will be nobody els® in black. So we'll bo chief mourners.” All the Trio Progressive Peoples were a-aobbing and a-sighing When they heard that the Military Autocrat waa dying.
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WHO KILLED THE KAISER?, Evening Star, Issue 15668, 5 December 1914