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Y PRES

“Thing's have hoen. pretty willing about Wypress,'’’ remarked the city clerk at the boarding-house breakfast table. “Do you refer to the fighting around Eepray ?” inquired the man with the superior air. Rumor had it that he was something in a newspaper office. The landlady's daughter, who adored him, confidently affirmed ho was the editor. The city clerk, who worshipped the linoleum she walked on, vowed that be cleaned tho machine rollers. •‘I think we both allude to the one place,” retorted the clerk, with hauteur; “ but we in the city generally call it Wypress.” “We in the city” sounded impressive. There was a vague belief among his fellowboarders, with one exception, that Mr Quillpush was somehow responsible for the reopening of tho 'Stock Exchange, an impression that Mr Q. took no particular pains to combat. “Wypress the matter?” inquired the humorist of the party—one of a type who flourish on free soil, living monuments to the toleration of the British race. “ I heard it called Eepers the other day,” ventured the little milliner timidly. “And why, pray?” put in tho pertinacious punster; but his auditors wero cither surfeited or dense, and the pearl was wasted. “It would take a siege gun to shift some (people’s monumental ignorance,” said the newspaper man loftily. Being of opinion that the discussion was becoming rather embittered, Mrs Hashfounder, the proprietress, broke now ground. “ Those naval men did splendid work off the Belgian coast ; but why doesn't that dear Admiral Jelly mould come ashore and take some of the towns ?” The funny man pounced upon the opportunity like a hawk. “ Because, the towns are too strong to be taken by a salt,” he chuckled. The solitary laugh—an excellent counterfeit of mirth—came from the little milliner, who had secretly given her heart to the j :er. What tremendous sacrifices are made for love 1 V diversion was caused by the entrance of a belated boarder. A perfunctory “ ’Morning, Miss Smith,” greeted the newcomer. “Good morning,” replied Miss Smith, as she took the vacant chair. “ Hasn’t there been some dreadful fighting around Wipers!” And in the chill silence, one could have frozen meat for export. —“ Oriel,” in the .Melbourne ‘ Argus.’

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/ESD19141128.2.81

Bibliographic details

YPRES, Evening Star, Issue 15662, 28 November 1914

Word Count
365

YPRES Evening Star, Issue 15662, 28 November 1914

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