Article image
Article image
This article displays in one automatically-generated column. View the full page to see article in its original form.

THE SPLENDID FAILURE

I found my old cheerful, active friend in the depths of woe. "What is it?" I asked. “Well,” ho said, "I’m done for—useless. You see. I'm 46, and that's a devil of an ago just now. Yon’ro ns fit as you ever were In your life, but of course the War Office won't look at you. Forty-six is impossible ! * But 1 can walk JO miles a day,' I tell them. ‘Not with your accoutrements,' they say. • I'm a member of the Alpine Club,’ I toll them. ' You're over age,’ they gay. ‘l’m stronger than any of your 20-ycar-old recruits,’ I tell thorn. ‘ You're 40,’ they gay. And It's true!" “ Then tho now regiment of Sportsmen oanw along,” ho continued. " and I tried thorn. No good. Forty-five is their maximum. Eo there you are. I'm done—useless. No ono wanted to help more than 1 did, and I can do absolutely nothing.” " I'll bet you've done u lot," I said, ’’ if yon would only confess.” "I tell you I've done absolutely nothing," ho repeated, testily. “ I’m no uso.” “ But surely you're on a dozen committees P” I said.' “No." he said, “not one." “Then you have sfaided a fund—sotno minor fund guaranteed not to divert any money from the big one?? 1 “ No." | “ But of course you’ve written to the I papers?" I went on. I "No." I *■ Xot about anythin"? to make tho ! Government- buck up about blankets or I rqunsbing German lies, or allowing corrcs--1 pondents at the front, or anything like : thatF" i “No." ' *■ But Mirclv von havo views a* to tho 'boiler management, of things? The Tress i Bureau, for instance. Haven't you pitched ’ ir(n that ?’’ “ No.” Net even clamored for nil Germans in ! this country, even tho naturalised ones, to ibo shot ? ‘Surely you’ve harried MKcnna a bit ?" "No.” , , i “ Well, vou must at least have published a i scheme for the partition of Europe after the vac? ' , . “No; I never wrote to the papers m my life,” I shook his hand. "Good heavens I” T said: “and this is the man who grumbles because be has done nothing for his country.”—Lonaon ‘Punch.

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.
Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/ESD19141114.2.19

Bibliographic details

THE SPLENDID FAILURE, Issue 15650, 14 November 1914

Word Count
359

THE SPLENDID FAILURE Issue 15650, 14 November 1914

  1. New formats

    Papers Past now contains more than just newspapers. Use these links to navigate to other kinds of materials.

  2. Hierarchy

    These links will always show you how deep you are in the collection. Click them to get a broader view of the items you're currently viewing.

  3. Search

    Enter names, places, or other keywords that you're curious about here. We'll look for them in the fulltext of millions of articles.

  4. Search

    Browsed to an interesting page? Click here to search within the item you're currently viewing, or start a new search.

  5. Search facets

    Use these buttons to limit your searches to particular dates, titles, and more.

  6. View selection

    Switch between images of the original document and text transcriptions and outlines you can cut and paste.

  7. Tools

    Print, save, zoom in and more.

  8. Explore

    If you'd rather just browse through documents, click here to find titles and issues from particular dates and geographic regions.

  9. Need more help?

    The "Help" link will show you different tips for each page on the site, so click here often as you explore the site.

Working