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I found my old cheerful, active friend in the depths of woe. "What is it?" I asked. “Well,” ho said, "I’m done for—useless. You see. I'm 46, and that's a devil of an ago just now. Yon’ro ns fit as you ever were In your life, but of course the War Office won't look at you. Forty-six is impossible ! * But 1 can walk JO miles a day,' I tell them. ‘Not with your accoutrements,' they say. • I'm a member of the Alpine Club,’ I toll them. ' You're over age,’ they gay. ‘l’m stronger than any of your 20-ycar-old recruits,’ I tell thorn. ‘ You're 40,’ they gay. And It's true!" “ Then tho now regiment of Sportsmen oanw along,” ho continued. " and I tried thorn. No good. Forty-five is their maximum. Eo there you are. I'm done—useless. No ono wanted to help more than 1 did, and I can do absolutely nothing.” " I'll bet you've done u lot," I said, ’’ if yon would only confess.” "I tell you I've done absolutely nothing," ho repeated, testily. “ I’m no uso.” “ But surely you're on a dozen committees P” I said.' “No." he said, “not one." “Then you have sfaided a fund—sotno minor fund guaranteed not to divert any money from the big one?? 1 “ No." | “ But of course you’ve written to the I papers?" I went on. I "No." I *■ Xot about anythin"? to make tho ! Government- buck up about blankets or I rqunsbing German lies, or allowing corrcs--1 pondents at the front, or anything like : thatF" i “No." ' *■ But Mirclv von havo views a* to tho 'boiler management, of things? The Tress i Bureau, for instance. Haven't you pitched ’ ir(n that ?’’ “ No.” Net even clamored for nil Germans in ! this country, even tho naturalised ones, to ibo shot ? ‘Surely you’ve harried MKcnna a bit ?" "No.” , , i “ Well, vou must at least have published a i scheme for the partition of Europe after the vac? ' , . “No; I never wrote to the papers m my life,” I shook his hand. "Good heavens I” T said: “and this is the man who grumbles because be has done nothing for his country.”—Lonaon ‘Punch.

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THE SPLENDID FAILURE, Issue 15650, 14 November 1914

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THE SPLENDID FAILURE Issue 15650, 14 November 1914

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