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Humorous and Useful.

“ Mike, why don’t you fire at those ducks boy ? Don’t you see you have got the whole flock before your gun ?” “ I know I have ; but when I get a good aim at one, two or three others will swim right up betwixt it and me.”

Let ua bo careful only of the quality of our work ; that is bo thorough, genuine, single-hearted, the best that is in us, the best that can come out of us. And above all, let us leave success to God, who is a just task-master. —W. Tasked. The men of sense, the idols of the shallow, aro very inferior to the men of passions. It is the strong passions, which, rescuing us from sloth, impart to us that continuous and earnest attention necessary to great intellectual efforts.

Paterfamillias : “ Why, Ethel! You don’t mean to tell me you want to marry that bald-headed Professor Wiseman !” Ethel: “It is true that he is bald, but think how many young men of to-day are bald in the inside of their heads.”

By all means avoid meanness and stinginess. Give away as much as you please, the more the better, always provided that nobody but yourself suffers by your giving, that the person benefited is worthy, and that it is done without ostentation.

Johnny’s mother (who has been [reading to him about Africa): “It is dreadful to think that there are benighted tribes who do not know what soap is, and who do not wash from one year’s end to another.” Johnny : “I wish I was a ’nighted tribe.” “ You women don’t know when you are well off,” sneered old Brown. “ Here you are complaining just because you have to do the housework. Why, In ancient times wives used to be slaves.” “ Y r es, my dear,” returned his better half, “ but that was before tho invention of brooms.”

A wise boy, like a wise lawyer, considers how he will answer possible objections before he puts in his plea. “Papa,” said Charlie, “ will you buy me a drum ?” “ Ah, but, my boy, you will annoy mo very much if I do.” “Oh, no, papa! I won’t drum only when you are asleep.”

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/ESD18891008.2.29

Bibliographic details

Humorous and Useful., Issue 8032, 8 October 1889

Word Count
367

Humorous and Useful. Issue 8032, 8 October 1889

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