A SUICIDE'S VALEDICTORY.
[From Our Own Correspondent.]
NAPIER, August 12.
The following ia the text of a letter written by Captain Balle and found in his room after his suicide. It was addressed to his brother :—" Well, I guess I have run the length of my tether, and failed. I have not been at all well for a long time, and seem to get worse. Sometimes I feel quite giddy and feverish. Perhaps I could get well again by going to the hospital, only to get sick again. I think it far the best plan to pack up and avoid it all. I would have done it long ago, only I required courage. We have all the instinct to cling to life, miserable though it may be, expecting something which never comes. At any rate, in my ca/e there can be no crime. No one is depending upon mo for a living; no one will regret my departure. _ I was never blessed with the gift of making friends. I found it out years ago that I was a nasty disagreeable fellow, whoso company people did not care much for, so I have kept pretty much to myself the last five year?. I think that the blow I had many years ago has had a lot to do with it. I could never forget her. I never told you much about it. Well, never mind ; let it die with me. Life has not been a pleasure to mo for many years, and I am sure there i 3 no pleasure to look forward to poverty and a miserable, lonely old age. I reckon it ia far more sensible to pack up and skip now before I lose what little I have than wait till it is all gone. What little I have will help you on your dreary journey. You may be able to take in a reef and sail a little easier. You will find a will in a tin in the top drawer. I know your troubles will be that I shall goto Hell, Well, if I believed in such nonsense I should prefer that place to the company of idiots, ranters, and salvation howlers, etc. Well, you and I never agree on that point, but you remember what I told you before—that the only difference between us is this : you try (as I did for years) to make yourself believe that you know nothing at all about it; I have tried to do what U right and sometimes failed. I never posed as a taint. The future 1 dread not, and the eternal Sabbath, with psalm, harpplaying, and hinging, I have no wish for. Yet, if the Sabbath were the same as when we were at Home, with music, singing and dancing, I would say Yes, by all means. But the English Sabbath—no, thank you ; no; that would be Hell indeed, or Purgatory. Well you will please me by wearing uo crape." There was no fear of deceased dying in poverty as he had lanfled property in Napier, and mensy in the bank and at interest. Deceased was a Dane.
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A SUICIDE'S VALEDICTORY., Evening Star, Issue 7984, 13 August 1889
A SUICIDE'S VALEDICTORY. Evening Star, Issue 7984, 13 August 1889
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