A Descendant of Mrs Malaprop.
We took part of a house on the King's rood, Brighton, where there was a very remarkable young person engaged "as upper housemaid, who had the wonderful gift of twisting the Queen's English about in such a manner that it was at times more than difficult to understand her meaning. I don't think she knew herself what the words she tried to pronounce meant, but it was her evident delight to give utterance to the most extraordinary gibberish I ever listened to. She was a veritable Mrs Malaprop, from a housemaid's point of view. I accidentally, from my dressing room, overheard conversations between her and a fellow-servant, and if the door was partly open, I confess I was so attracted by her wonderful power of word-twisting that I did not shut it. She assumed a kind of mincing way of speaking, and I took down in pencil all the wonderful things she said. In the following conversation I reproduce them in their integrity : Anne: "Where does your parents live, then?" Jane: " They used to reside in 'lghate (put that picture straight, it 'esitatea me), but my mother found the air of 'lghate too strong for her, and when she took ill the doctor said she must move to a more atmospheric place. My poor mother had a bad time with my father. He was a cruel 'usband, and behaved to her like a medicated scoundrel." Anne: " Well, I never." Jane: "He was her second husband, you know, and wo never liked him. My poor dear father died five years ago. His sufferings were awful; he had a couple of ulsters in his inside." Anne : " What, two of them ?" Jane : " Yes. So he died." Anne: " I should think he did." Jane: "We didn't wish mother to rewed, and we up and told her one day that if she did we would go ouc of the house, as any other husband we shall look upon as an antelope." Anne: " Why, of course." Jane: "Well, she did marry again, and he was a punishment to her, for he was always ill and complaining. Mother was nothing but a nurse. First he had an illustrated sore throat, and was awful bad when the influential gales was blowin', and he died of various veins in his legs a year ago, I am happy to say, for he hated us, and we hated him. He gave himself such airs, and got that 'aughty, and at last he arrived at such a prerogative he couldn't consume it.—' Mr and Mrs Bancroft's Memoirs,'
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A Descendant of Mrs Malaprop., Evening Star, Issue 7964, 20 July 1889, Supplement
A Descendant of Mrs Malaprop. Evening Star, Issue 7964, 20 July 1889, Supplement
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