POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 99, 29 April 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

A naval agreement has been signed between Britain and Poland. That's a slap in the eye for Switzerland. * «• * As we interpret it, the B.M.A. stands for Better Methods Available, so far as the Government's national health insurance scheme is concerned. * # ..# Henry Ford (aloud): "Give natural American enterprise free swing and it will do the job." Roosevelt (under his bveath): "Give it too much rope md it will hang itself." ♦ * • News heading: • DEMOCRACY IN DANGER. Democracy's troubles! . • • • OLD BOATS. "Poster" writes: Talking of extreme" ly old vessels still working—what about the Gravesend shrimper Ellen, reputed to be 200 years old? She belongs to Mr. C. Plumb, and has been in the family's possession for nearly 150 years. Previously she was a powder boat. • # # < INFORMATION* BUREAU. Dear Mr. Flage,—Could you please tell us in your versatile column if tha "Evening Post" has always. Observed Anzac Day as a non-publishing day, or is it more recent observance? Also, was there ever a "Post" published on Good Friday or Christmas Day? (1) Anzac Day, which is regarded as a Sunday, has always been a holiday for the newspapers. (2) So far as can be ascertained, no "Evening Post" was ever published on Good Friday or Christmas Day. Up till some years ago, however, "The Post" appeared on New Year's Day. DAILY READER. L.P.H. (Petone).—(l) Gene (pronounced Jean) is one of the elements of which a germ-cell contains a pair transmitted each from one parent. (2); A chromosome (pronounced cro-nw some—it rhyme's with "home") is, w« are informed, a constituent element off the reproductive cell. ♦ * » PRECISIAN PROTESTS. Flage.—Would you please tell thff people who broadcast from the Wellington stations (I know they will take notice of you) that that poor, un» fortunate, ill-used word, "e-co-nomic,** should not, by any means, fair or un« fair, poet's licence or anything else, be pronounced "ekka-nomic." Also, that there are "h's" in why, where, when, and which, and "were" is not pronounced "wur," at least not by educated people. I heard a lady telling us this morning how to remove "sutt" from a "soot"! Talking oi "h's," one gentleman said to another; gentleman: "I've got an 'ell of an. 'eadache; what do you think would* cure it?" The other gentleman re* plied: "Well, old chap, I should thin* that what you need is a couple off aspirates." By the way, if a chappiefe says to you, "akorse I did," do yougthink he might possibly mean "o0 course I did"?, PLIM. ; ~-.,% > . * u#; *' •■ !• '"' ZOG AT HOME. Well, Zog, King of Albania, is a real husband at last. In 1935 he_ blandly intimated that he would like'to have an American heiress bride with about 5,000,000 dollars, but there was no rusa to his arms. The women folk may lika to know that Zog has a blonde slim figure with somewhat delicate fea« tures, aquiline nose, and a wispy, moustache of light chestnut hue. Prior to proclaiming himself King he was a tribal chieftain in the Albanian hills and a firebrand revolutionist. His kingdom is a small, strangely medieval county on the west coast of the Balkan, peninsula with a population of about 1,000,000. When attending to regal business Zog sits on a gold throne in 1 his £200,000 palace at Tirana, tha Albanian capital. He works about 18 hours a day • strenuously striving ; to modernise his country. For one thing he has been trying to establish a Western code of justice to take the place of the age-old blood feuds that for centuries have settled Albanian disputes. There may be a personal angler to this,, as already there have been five attempts to assassinate him and he knows that many of his subjects are still "honour bound" to put him otf the spot. His palace is virtually • fortress with underground escape pa»» sages. He has six sisters. The three older ones are married, and the other* are hoping. , • • * VISITORS' IMPRESSIONS. When visitors from overseas Discuss our fair Dominion In terms that cannot help but please. We broadcast their opinion. These learned, unbiased, travelled men. See eye to eye with us—well: thenl We're satisfied our legislation, Will benefit the whole darned nation. We thought it would, and now w« know. ' Our visitors agree 'tis so. But woe betide those other chaps, Just as learned and wise perhaps, Who view with genuine apprehension The soundness of our politics. It's then we feel like heaving bricks, For if these fears they mention, We rail at tHem, with voice and pen, And call them busy bodies then. Our visitors from far away Are welcome as the flowers in MayBring the wife and little chicks, Forget about our politics. Our M.P.s work with zeal and zest., , « "He seldom fails who does his best. 1* ■ NANCY. * * • A BATTLE OF WITS. Dear Flage,—The phrase "Life is one darned thing after another" was further exemplified the other morning at the back of the Botanic Gardens bandstand. A three-quarters-grown waterrat had a craving for "game" to be . included in his blll-of-fare. Very well, let's go! A dozen perky sparrows were feeding on the grass within a yard of where* "ratty" surveyed the feathered tit-bits from his ambush in the leafy flower border. One, apparently, unwary sparrow hopped within the danger zone. A lithe, hungry body flashed out after its dinner—but "sparrow" had fluttered away, like a graceful ballerina, out of reach. Never say die!. A dozen others were within view. "Ratty" chased them one after another, describing circles in his quest and eagerness, but in vain. Each one fluttered away beyond resell of his hungry jaws, and he retired, disconsolate, to his ambush again. The sparrows fed • on unconcernedly. Another sparrow blithely hopped within range. Another rush, another escape; more circling, more disappointment.. So the "game". went' on—without casualties. As an. object-lesson in the futility of chasing a rainbow, it was instructive. "Ratty" will acquire more wisdom with the passing years. It must have been puzzling to his alert brain to find undoubted substance—if he could believe his eyes—prove to be fleeting shadows, so far as his hungry belly went. If he be wise, he will stick to the quest for eggs, which at least have the virtue of remaining stationary until hatched—or foraged.. Qf^