POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 63, 11 September 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGB

Chronicle and Comment

When it comes to staging a show, Hollywood has nothing on Hitler's publicity paladins. . . E.M.M.—Have ■ you got over Black Saturday? Or perhaps ,we should call it Green Saturday. •■ ♦ . » ' ■ ' Yes; why not refer the Mediterran* can problems to the Non-intervention Committee? It has ample room in its pigeon-holes. . . ■ • * • • The Alberta People's League protests that Mr. Aberhart has turned tha province over to Major Douglas. Our impression was that he had only turnedit upside down. ♦ "•■» Nuff (or too much) said! . IYA announcer (8.10 p.m., 9/9/37).-r "I'm sorry, the Royal Auckland Choi» will sing again." "WIBBLEMAG." ■•♦ - * ■ PROHIBITIONIST GANDHI. Sylvester sends this one (not hit own): — There was an old fellow named Gandhi, Who went to a pub for a shandy. He used his loincio* To wipe off the froth, And the barmaid, said: "Blime! Thafgs handy!" : * ■ • «, LIMERICKS. Now that the dour - old man oj Argyll has "had his day and cease* to be," let's turn our attention to higheif things. For example: A she skier who climbed up Moun# Cook. It is not known (at the moment)! why she did, but it may be guessed that her experiences were numerous anc6 novel. Here are some rhyme words! Book, brook, look, shook, hook, nook» crook, and mistook. Now for somq. startling revelations over the week* end, including, we hope and trust, on* or two excessively individual efforts^ * •.•■-. ONE WEDDING DID THIS. This happened when Miss Ivy Hampf son, of Highfleld Crescent, Rayleighi. Essex, married Mr. Leonard Phillips! The bride became the wife of hesf' step-brother. ■' The bridegroom became the husbancf of his step-sister. The bride's- step-mother became he* mother-in-law. The bridegroom's step-father becamaf his father-in-law. « All this because Mr. F. H. Amson* a widower of Bow, London, married a widow, Mrs. Phillips, and Mr. Am* son's daughter married the former Mrs* Phillips's son. , • * * • NOTE FOR PUBLICISTS. There was once a speaker who com-ri plained of being misreported (it.-wasn't? our Mr. Savage). The reporter retaliated^ by giving one speech exactly as iifwas delivered. It read as follows:—* "The reporters ought not te—the re 4 porters ought not to be the judges ofl what is important—not to say whafl should be left, out—the members of this council can only judge of whaft is important. As my speeches—as 1 —as the reports—as what I say is re-"? ported sometimes, no one—'nobody, can understand from the reports—wha| it is—what I mean. So it strikes me-* certain matters have struck me—^ things that appear of no importance! —are sometimes left out—omitted." Hef never complained again. * . • • SCHOOL'S IN. ' Do you know— ■ 1. Mr. William Smith, junior, of Burnbank, Hamilton, Lanarkshire, wag on Saturday, married on Mon| !day, and attended his second wife'«| funeral at Gretna Green on Friday? 2. £1,332,406,295 worth of gold hail been produced so far in South Africa?! 3. British regimental colours wers last carried in action on January 26i 1881, in the first Boer War, at Laing'* Nek, those of the 58th, now 2nd North* amptons? ' 4. Postcards were introduced in. Aus4 tria on October 1, 1869, and in the! United Kingdom exactly a year later?? 5 5. An authoritative trade journat; says that Japan produced 9632 cars mi 1936, which is twenty times the nura* ber produced in 1931? 6. In 1602, when the traveller Ton* Coryeate introduced into England th« Italian custom of using a fork he cairis in for a deluge of ridicule? 7. It was the Marquis de Sade whtj said that "All men are fools, and h* who does not wish to them must ret main in his chamber and break hi 4 looking glass"? 8. A million trees are to be planted in New South Wales alone next yearf as part of Australia's 150 th anniver* sary celebrations? . 9. Chinese in Australia are seeking) a reduced tariff on a delicacy of whicfi they are extremely fond—eggs 100 years old? 10. A total of 3,328,398 new houses^ have been built in England and Wale* sine* the Armistice? • • * * A GARDEN SONG. Here, in this sequestered clos* Bloom the hyacinth and rose; Hero beside the modest stock Flaunts the flaring hollyock; Here, without a pang, one seei Ranks, conditions, and degrees.. All the seasons run their raca In this quiet resting-place; Peach, and apricot, and fig Here will ripen, and grow big; Here is store and overplus,— . More had not Alcinous! : Here, in alleys cool and green, Far ahead the thrush is seen; Here along the southern wall Keeps the bee his festival; AH is quiet else—afar Sounds of toil and tuxmofl are. Hera be shadows larjfe and lontfj Here be spaces meet for song; Grant, O garden-god, that I, Now that none profane is nigh, Now that mood and moment pleas*^ Find the fair Pierides. AUSTEN DOBSON. , • i .# • ■ • NOMENCLATURE. "In particular 'X.' and 'Chanticleer 3 should be interested in this matter,1 * writes "Havaspot" (Karori). "It lw-» cerns apt names for racehorses. Hers are some English ones which I unearthed in a Sunday weekly:— Reno . . . Writ—Mrs. Quickly. Camp Follower . . . Tommy Atkins —Lady Scapegrace. Monte Carlo . . . Winalot—Belief. Motif . . . Scherzo—Diplomacy. Chaste .. . Gainsborough—Dama Caution. Tantalizer ... Nothing Venture— Kissalot. Mickey Mouse .. . Lightning Artist S —Cinema. fterambulalor . . , Limosin—Nursery* Balfr Austin . . . Colorado Kid-— Austin. Nibs . . > Twelve Pointer—The Pen. Parasol ~ . Solario—Part Worn. Can you tteteU* «£ any b«iter ones?;,