POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 143, 18 June 1937, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

These days an ugly mood usuall; connotes a situation tense. * . •■. ■ • One of these fine nights an imported rassler will win out of his turn, and then there will be the deuce to pay. *.•■ • - ■ Wouldn't it create a sensation if one night-a radio comic suddenly came on the air with a bunch of original jokes? * • * .. If Britain yields too easily to Germany's wooing she will have la bell* France suing her for breach ci pro misc. THIS ENGLAND. "...' From the "Daily Mail": — The air of St. Morita is conducive ta gaiety: the slightest amount of alcoholic refreshment, when taken at ■'• •■ height of 5000 ft, is apt to cause lightheadedness, but luckily the control ot one's behaviour is a prerogative of tha Britisher. * .♦-- • HIGH BROW. There is a newly-built garage on th« main road in Mowbray (S'Africa) where the signwriter has just finishe* his job. Over one door you read: "LUBRITORIUM." Over the other door: "CARS ABLUTIONISED." Is this one of those high-brow garages that grease and wash only Rolls-Royces? * * .*.... NAZI "MOTHER GOOSE." Pity the poor little German kindergarteners! The new. Nazi "Mother Goose" paints 'The Jew" as a bogynan, ogre, Big Bad Wolf, who seduces, poisons, and betrays sentimentally beautiful Nordic maidens. Jews are pictured in bright children's book colours as most unpleasant creatures; the German as a golden blond, lean, square-chinned, blue-eyed, heroically letermined warrior. In three months this version of "Mother Goose" sold ta the extent of 80,000 copies. The nui> scry rhymes are, by the way, the work of a kindergarten teacher.- ---.'..'.•; • • FUN IN THE NEWS. From "The Kerryman" (Ould ire. land):— "Half a pint of paraffin mixed wltli half a pint of vinegar makes a good cleanser and polisher. It polishes all kinds of custard without effort." From the Manchester "Evening; Chronicle":— Gc the minimum of benefit from the sun this summer by investing in on* of those gay little backless Sun Tops. From the Belfast "Evening Tela, graph":— Wanted, Smart Errant Boy.—Apply; BoxPX6Bs9a, "..."•" » . * ' : HERE'S A NEWSPAPER. .■" ; News hounds and their like mayjn interested in this story which was told to us by the much-travelled Emmett Walpole in the form of a cutting. It relates to the "Daily Pilot," which is the news disseminator of Thursday Island, in the Torres Straits, N.E. Australia. The "Daily Pilot" is a sheet which measures 12.inches by 9 inches, which is about half the size of a page of "The Post" reading from the top and four columns %vide. The "Torres Straits Daily Pilots "t6fjg»e it its. full title, sells for 6d a copy,'and contains a shade over two columns of news. By special arrangement with Reuter, the famous world-service of information is incorporated in these two columns, much of which also appears in "The Times," London; but the "Pilot" gravely informs its readers that its editorial opinions are not necessarily those of its English contemporary. Setting aside the ordinary ; printing staff,.foreign editor, news editor, gossip writer, and advertising manager, I the. rest" of the personnel make comiparatively light work of bringing out | the weekly issue. But. they, have to stick at their work, make no mistakf about that ■ • - --.» # o ■" ■ LIMERICK COMPETITION. Lots of Postscripters were interested in that old man of Tibet: over 50 limericks reached us. We print fly« of the best of the latest received. There was an old man of Tibet, Who married a charming coquette. But he found her one day With a young lover gay— . : They ran—and he's chasing them yet) ORVILLE R. DUPPE. There was an old' man of' Tibet Full of piety, wisdom, and yet At the prayer wheel one dayHe murmured, they say, "Ten bob on the red, it's a bet." A. MIT. There was an old man of Tibet Who laughed when the weather wai wet; He stood in the rain And got washed down the drain-* And they haven't recovered him ye» J.S.W. There was an old man of Tibet Who went to the zoo for a pet, He bought a giraffe. Then started to laugh At its tail, quite the shortest he'd met, BATTY BRIAN. There was an old man.of Tibet, ! The strangest bloke ever you met; j He wore an hibiscus To cheer up his whiskers, And pursued Llama birds with a net BON DIEU! ' The most distinctive, original, and carefree was sent in by a lady iq Thorndon; here it is— There was an old man of Tibet ; Who said, Why should I Marry > When in the Hills, I can Tarry, Live my whole Life, on Llamas andi Rice,1 Grow old tb One Hundred and Ten, * .--».' .».'.' ■■;... >.- .THE JOY OF YOUTH. , This is the work of that natural wiV A. P. Herbert. It appeared in "Punch*' four years ago, and was passed on bJi "Slim Jim." I remember a time when the Young used to go to pubs—and that waa awful. Then the Young stopped going ta pubs and went to cinemas instead—" and now that's awful. If the Young go "hiking" in the day light that seems to be awful. And if the Young go for walks in country lanes after dark, that's worse. If the Young sit in motor-cars they have the police after them.' ■ If the Young sit on the Common they have the Watch Committee after them. , ■If the Young sit in the parlour and listen to the wireless they have No Sense of Advmture. And if the Young sit on pillions and motor-bikes they're Dangers to tha Public. If the Young sit in their studies they have No Spirit. If the Young go to political meet* ings they're Insubordinate and Uppish, And even if the Young start a relig* ious lAovernen'. it's pre'.ty scandalous. If the Young go to the dog-races tha Old Boys talk about it. But if the Young go into Parliament th. Old Boys still do all the talking. Oh, dear! will anyone tell me whera the Young ought to go?