POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 67, 16 September 1936, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Perci Flags.

Anyhow, under Fascism a idler hasn't a sole he can call his own. «• * # "Pravda's" retort to Dr. Goebbels ii not exactly in the best of taste, but you must admit that the recipient was asking for it. * • • . McMahon's story that Germany' offered him £150 ■ to kill the \ King is obvious poppycock. No Power holds Edward VIII as cheaply as that. *'*"■» Embalmed Democracy.—Herr Hitler described the Labour Corps(e) as th« finest element in the German nation. HALL. MARK. »' -::- « TIP. Britons, according to Mr. W. S. Morrison, Financial Secretary to the Treasury, are buying more and more. They are eating more food, drinking more cocoa, smoking more tobacco —especially the ladies—and travelling more by train and bus than they ever did. Yet they are saving more. We should love Mr. Morrison to tell the missus how it's done. * * « ALSATIAN BAN. Alsatian dogs are not popular in Griffith, New South Wales, either. . That is, they are not popular until they're dead. Persistent sheep»killing by these hounds has moved the Shire Council to direct that they shall be killed on sight by the police. The Griffith solons. discussed sterilisation as a remedy, but decided that that would be an ineffectual method of dealing with the menace. APROPOS. "Can you cook?" asked the Hull Stipendiary Magistrate of a girl of twenty who sought his consent to, her marriage. "Yes," she replied, confidently. "Do you like her cooking?" th« Magistrate asked the prospective husband, and there was a roar of laughter when he said: "Yes, I like anything burned." The girl's mother did not attend to oppose the application, and the. Magistrate gave consent. * * .«..■,' POTTED POMES. A Slippery Slip, Little boyFull of sin Scatters fresh Banana skin. Stern old gent Just in time Catches sinner At his crime. . ; Gent alas Has a cane.... Little boy ; ' Full of pain. D. J. DONALD. Wind blows. Hat goes, . ," Miss tram, : Hearty damn! .'■.,.. TERRY. '. ■ .* * . » V FOOLED. The Tramway Department has fooled us! As I was walking along a city stree" today a fellow-citizen, passing me, espied, at the same time as I did, a one-section tram ticket, with two whole rides left on it, lying face down on the footpath. He stooped arid picked it up. But alas! The undipped space turned out to be merely a panel of instructions on how to use a ticket and what to do with used ones. Quietly I passed on, leaving him to his own thoughts about tramway corporations in general, and the Wellington one in particular. . J.O'S. ALPHABETICALLY SPEAKING. The attached was culled by "M.U.G.* from an American daily:— Unless these New Deal Democrats Stop pulling bureaux out of hats I fear that soon we'll have to get A new and better alphabet. Now what this country needs today Is less and less of NJt.A. " ' * ' B.U.N.K. and E.T.C. t And more and more of C.O.D. For in the sweet, sweet bye and bye, Somebody has to P.A.Y. For a ll this "Jack" the U.S.A. Is handing out so free today. Our star of hope is growing dim, We'll soon be on the B.U.M.' We'll struggle, starve, and break our necks, To meet the future T.A.X. Unless I make a N.G. guess It's time to send an S.O.S. And stop this flood of 1.0. U. And I mean to stop it P.D.Q. So I beseech you, F.D.R., "■' Don't stretch this alphabet too far. My shirt is gone, now, mister, pleas* Don't take away my B.V.D.s. ■'• • . ♦ POSTED . . . MISSING. "Te Anau."—Too subtle for us. "Scotty."—We fear for the worst but hope for the best. The silence of the two principals, in especial "H.P.," is almost unbearable. J.R.—We seem to have heard that one before. Thanks all the same. G.W.O.—Nice of you to say thosa things. Must try harder to live up to them. "Tee-Estee."—Will appear in its turn. , .■"'.•-■ "Sunisa."—Have passed on your note to the McClancy, who is still "in smoke." "Bone-Bruiser."—Not quite up this time. J.H.B.—Your sentiments regardingc. the brain-teasers are the sentiments of many Postscripters. "Bur Roughs."—Sorry, but the majority of our clients are not keen oh mathematical problems. And Euclid was never a friend of ours. "Johnnie Walker."—Marathon verses are almost as popular with us as' steamed spinach. "Garryowen" (Masterton). — Well, heave that brick. Our head is bloody but unbowed. P.W.A.—Your verses to the Wallabies are well-intentioned but ill-framed. "Tuneless."—You ask: "Why can't we have more variety in CoL 8?" There will be more when we can find some. Have you any brilliant new ideas? "Caleb."—How dare you! That one about talcing the "fright out of freight" is filched from a Railway Departnwua* ad. .• • , ■■■-■•' ' "Ginger Jack." — Your PegaaiF stopped on the mark. . C. Bartle.—Unable to satisfy your insatiable curiosity. "Permanent Way." — Curiously enough, we have that "sleeper" one in type ready for release. "Melisande."—An addressed stamped envelope will bring you the informa-* tion. j "Timothy Titus."—Thanks for kindly words; we need 'em this week. j,I,N. (l) Your mistake. We have ' no political prejudices. You obviously have. (2) The Prime Minister is Aus-tralian-born, and none the V'orse for that. "Galliardia."—Thanks for suggestion. E.M. (Palmerston North). —We have said some'foolish things in this feature, but the one you send is not of them. : ■: .. ~.■;;■;