POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIX, Issue 109, 10 May 1935, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

THE RESERVED SECTION.

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

News note: Beer judges do not swallow the beer they taste. Chickenhearted!

Chemists and chain stores inform us that ths demand lor headache wafers has slumped markedly since yesterday.

The only real weakness in planned production is that the planners have not yet learned to command th« weather.

"I know there is plenty of cheap money about ('phones "Bill Sykes"), but a bloke's got to slave all night t* get his share."

Those substantial new public works to be started immediately should help to tide the unemployed, and the Government, over a hard winter.

ANCIENT TITLES. Add these to your list of titles, ancient or modern. There are: The McGillicuddy of the Reeks, the Lord of the Isles, the Captain of Dunstaffnage, and The O'Conor Don. When the last-named is with his wife they are styled "The O'Conor Don and Mme. O'Conor." Subsidiary titles, like Governor of Carrick-fergus Castle or Lord Warden of the Western Marches are more frequent. The most highsounding of them is Hereditary Lord High Admiral of Malahide And The Seas Adjoining, unless you prefer Hereditary Chief Butler of England, which is one of the Duke of Norfolk* designations.

LIGHT REVOLVING AND ALTEs/ • NATING. It is reported on good authority that during the British Empire broadcast of the Jubilee thanksgiving service, and the rejoicings in London, Moscow turned from bright red to livid green; also that the Soviet war vessel Communist International, then at sea, was seen revolving rapidly to port in a dizzy circle, with helm hard over, endeavouring to regain a sight of its red light, after unexpectedly striking the rock of Empire Devotion to Virtuous Kingship, and is nbw wirelessing despairingly to the bilious Commissars m the sickly glare at Moscow that the Soviet red-world charts would be more to the point, and less liable to be misread, on the red paper, if the British Commonwealth lands we^e printed in purple instead of in red. BRITISH CHARTS ARE BEST.

SERIAL DREAM. Talking of dream phenomena: An. other curious example has come under our notice. It was an authentic experience of an accomplished young woman of high imagination and gentle breeding. One night she dreamed that she was travelling on board a noble liner to the East. The dream broke off long before the boat reached its destination. The next night the dream was resumed at the point where it had ended the night before, and the voyage was continued—a vivid and most exciting experience. For four nights in succession the phenomenon repeated itself, proceeding serially, and terminating only when the liner was still out of sight of the port of call. A rather disappointing, ending for the dreamer, because she had become interested in one of the firemen, who, she discovered (in her dream), was an Oxford don working his way around the world!

This from Emmett Walpole, from an unlabelled American journal. It dates back to 1902, when 140,000 union mine-workers were ■on strike in Pennsylvania. The strike evoked from a Very Big Man interested Jn coal the following choice packet of naivete: "The rights of the working people will be cared for not by irresponsible union agitators but by the Christian men to whom God, in his infinite wisdom, has entrusted the property interests-of this country." This modest dictum called forth-many comments, including a most interesting piece of verse by W. D. Nesbit. There is room for only three stanzas—as follows:— In the prehistoric ages, when the world was a ball of mist— A seething swirl' of something unknown in the planet list; When the earth was vague with vapour, and formless and dark and void— The sport of the wayward comet—the jibe of the asteroid— . Then the singing stars of morning chanted soft: "Keep out of there!. Keep off that spot which is sizzling . hot—it is making coal for Baer!" When the pterodactyl ambled, or fluttered, or swam, or jumped, And the plesibsaurus rambled, all careless of what he bumped. And the other old-time monsters that thrived on the land and sea, And did not know what their names ■ were, any more than today -, do we— . Wherever they went they heard it: "You fellows keep out of there-i That place which shakes and quivers and quakes—it is making coal for Baer." We ought to be glad and joyous, we ought to be filled with glee That aeons ago the placard was nailed to the ancient tree; That millions and millions of ages-r----back further than Adam and Eve— The ichthyosaurus halted and speedily took his leave; And so it was all saved 'for us, the spot with the sign: "Beware! This plant is run by the earth and sun and is making coal for Baer!"

GOLDWYN'S ALIBI. '■ Samuel Goldwyn, as many of you will know, is a picture magnate. Apart from that, he has an expansive reputation in his own land for anecdotes, spoonerisms, and witticisms which are said to have emanated from him. In London recently Mr. Goldwyn denied all such responsibility: "It was just those bright columnist lads—who have, to earn a living somehow—making fun of me." Here are two of the stories attributed to the movie king. He is reported as sending for his literary expert. . "Reuben," he said, '"Little Women* is a swell picture. Chase this Louisa Alcott dame; maybe she can write us some more stuff." Reuben, instead of saying simply that Miss Alcott died in 1888, replied pompously that she sailed for the Styx some time before. "That's the worst of these writing guys," said Sam, "as soon as they make a success they go and buy a yacht." And this one about Mendelssohn— "We must have some high-class romantic stuff for this film," said Sam to a musical expert. "What about Mendelssohn's, Spring Song," the expert asked. "I leave it to you," said Sam. "That's what you're paid for." "But we can't use all of it—it's much too long. How much do you want?" persisted the expert. "Oh," said Sam, "I should say th* first two verses and the chorus."