POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 96, 20 October 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE Query: Would aa armament tnmfer* enco bG a failure? OMADHAUN. * ' «■ i> The newest pessimist we have met it a fellow ■whose family presented him. with a swell cigarette lighter but who insists on carrying a box oi! matches with him. An anti-gambling body protests that if telegraphed betting is legalised the wires will run hot with investments. On the other hand, the tricks of some of our "woolbrokers" make a feller'a blood run cold. «• » • As we read him, all that Sir William Hunt desires for the farmers is that they should get all they want, while the rest of the community may want for all that it needs., ** . * MODERN VERSION. ' ' This actually happened at a recent history test by Standard .6 pupils:— Question: Who was it that said, "Kiss me, Hardy!" \ Answer: Stan LaureL Yours historically, ■''' LEIF ERICSSON. NO FAX. I do not care for pictures much. In boosting ballyhoo to •wallow, My last one left me wondering wh£ Chicago makes so much of tallow.' To watch the handsome hero hug Nice girls in public, as he shouldn't^ gee superhuman crook do what A criminal would—but couldn't. And when a sobstuff heroine moans, I cannot sympathise a bit, I wonder does it hurt ]rer much, • And what she Teally makes from it« DRUM.

A GOOD TIP.

Dear Mr. Flage,—rlt has been notice^ by visiting vaudeville entertainers that the most popular one-man entertainer i< the one who can give a good step* dance, but it is now, like a boy on horseback in town, almost a. lost art. In these days of depression any young* men who could learn it could command £7 or £8 a week. There used to be a good teacher of step-dancing in Wei' Hngton, Mr. John Smith, a plumber, and he carried off most of the prizes himself at the Basin Reserve. Ther» may be some teachers still here. In tha old days two famous step-dancers were; Buckley and Dan Shera in tho first Opera House. TtJC,.

*. ■ * • BORN GAMBLERS. We have just read a Reuter-cabled story of a street beggar in Beno who coaxed 25 cents from a, passer-by^ stepped into a gambling den, pyra* mided that sum into 680 dollais, and the next, day turned that into 1000 dollars, which he put into what are called "postal savings." Then, hai started "bumming" again, was art rested, convicted, and went to gaol rather than pay the fine. Here's any other—ono we can swear, to. He was one of Melbourne's most interesting* "plungers" —an ex-Varsity man ©4 mathematical bent who "discovered* a copper-bottomed, betting system, ands except at long intervals, was always on the rocks. He played up a last pound at the "ponies," returned from the track with a "tenner," and at as "exclusive" hazards school inßourka Street converted tho "tenner" intd £756. Within a week he. had pur« chased a smart galloway' in training for £250, and six weeks later won the Ascot pony cup worth several, hundreds net, and bets to tho volume of £1250w Four months later he was back agfcini at zero. The last we saw of him he was selling shilling. tips outside the gated at Aspendale Park to credulous client*

EAMBLINGS OF A DEAR OLD LADY EE SMITHY. Now, Jane, my dear, sit down; you're looking weary. ... Give me that darning, I will do it fo^ you. : It isn't often I" talk politics-r-But no one minds me, I am so old* fashioned. I'm thinking of that record lately beaten By Kingsford Smith. He. beats thos4 things as easy * . - As I beat eggs for Sunday morning breakfast (John likes an omelette). The posted said he "smashed it." I often think, if Smithy had the mone.^ Ho ought to have, ho might grow fat; and lazy; But having little, keeps him like ani eagle, Out in the air to find the home-nes* forage. I seem to feel, my dear, that pretty, baby That Smithy loves so, makes nini downright nervous. But where was I?—oh, yes—our Air Defences! Now, if I only were the Minister Who has to settle such things (wait » minute, . . I'll put the kettle on), d'ye know what I'd do? ■■ Why, ask Sir Charles, Air-Commodore and so forth, . To come and take the charge of aH New Zealand; « Teach us to fly, lay out th© scheme of FbTup 1 those things that such a man of science—• ; . Not to say genius—knows from top t« Thcn^when he'd done it, with, ofl course, such wages As ho deserved and we could find tsj He Xuldb™ made Air-Admiral-is thai We'lYhaVo "tho cup that cheers/ cli, Jane, my dear* .■

A SLICK TRICK.

Dear Flaeo,— On a Tecent Saturday morning during the busiest period o£ he shopping rush a lad walked into • city bargain store. Arriving at tna tobacco counter he said to the^ assistant- "Mother bought this tin of tobacco hero yesterday and was given the wrong kind. Father wants it changed for a tin of cigarette tobacco." The assistant inspected it ana, as the outside seal was intact, sho placed it in the fixtwfo with the other stock. As the price -**n the same, another tin, as s <squested *as handed to tho boy. A little lat« the assistant had occasion to sell tin. which tho lad had ruturned.. In her hurry to take it from the «nelf it slipped from her hand and fe* to the floor. The lid flew open, and, to tho astonishment of the staff, disclosed a tin full of sand covered on top by a thin layer of tobacco. The assistants were told to report any further attempts on tho part of anyone wishing to change tobacco. Possibly other successful ventures had been made previously, and prompted the lad to return the 'following Saturday, with the samo request again. This time he was told to wait, but apparently ho knew hovr to act. in such an emergency. When the assistant left to inform the manager tho lad slipped away, and has not riee< pern in that store since.

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