POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 25, 29 July 1933, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

There must have been quite a number of citizens who loathed the sight of "pearlies" this morning.

» ■ * * Then there was a native of Kirkcudbright who took his girl out for the evening and spent 7s 6d on her * ... all she had. ;

• * * Do not be too hard on the Conference. It might have taken seven months' instead of seven weeks discovering it was a failure. • * •

The only risk in a nation-wide restriction of grain production is that) Nature may. feel moved to assist th» good work with plagues of grasshoppers or a drought. « « * A GOOD MISS. We did not miss that static-censored omission iii yesterday's woefully: long official wireless report. Bad atmospherics might usefully have applied the closure much earlier. ■

• ♦ ♦ CANAL DELEGATE. ' Probably the most humorous story relating to the London Conference—it is said to be true —concerned a delegate* from Panama, who, on' arriving at the Geological Museum, was barred by a policeman with,the remark: "Panama! That's -not a country. Everybody knows it's only a canal!" * »■■■#■■ PUNCTURED.

All set out for the Conference ~ With hearts buoyed up' with hope; Each well, convinced ho knew a waf With world distress to cope. ' But Boos-e-velt the tiino not ripe To talk of things that mattered; So, bang! the Conf'rence tires blew out, ' . ■ , And faith and hope lay-battered. Not even Bamsay Mac. can now Restore the old machine; For the Yanks have faked- the starter And watered the benzine. ■ R.J.P.

; ♦ » » THE IRISH LOTTERIES. ' That talk on lotteries, and other games of nriseliance, reported in Thurs« day's "Post," .reminds us that waf should rather be one of the .three pro* moters of the Irish Hospital Sweep* stakes (or the organising secretary)] than chasing an elusive Golconda down Naseby way. Each promoter sits- back and draws £70,000 as his shar& of tha plunder, and the secretary gentleman recently had his wages raised from £15,000 to £20,000, per annum. Who will join up with us in starting a simi-t lar racket from Albania? We havq. some "pull" with King Zog. • . * »

! MULTIPLICATION BY 9. Others besides ■ our hard-boiled mathematicians may be interested iv, the following table which reveals an interesting aspest of. ianiltiplication by 9. .'lx9+ 2=ll :. • .'.-' 12x9+3=111 123 x 9+ 4=llll . 1234x9+ s=lllll '...'.'.■ 12345x9+6=111111 123456x9+7=1111111 ■ 1234567x9+8=11111111 12345678x9+ 9=lllllllll 123456789 x 9+lo=llllllllll ♦ - ■:• •■■':■•. lv-'. ■'-'# i / • '- ■ ■ ■

school's in: Do you know that:— (1) A warehouseman in a Dutch -firtl of florists has completed 70 years al the same job? To mark the" occasion! he received a medal from Queen Wil* helmina. , . ...,". (2) Konrad Keublcr, a 60-year-old Munich man, claims to have written 20,000 words on a postcard—a world! record? (3) A Turkish father boasts a family] of 43 living children—3B boys and fival girls? ( He has asked the Government for a pension. He has earned it! (4), Lord Desborough has insured hii life to a charity for £10,000? His premiums are in. the region- of £800| per annum. . ' (5) A Mrs. Miller, of Los Angeles, has won nearly 300 cups for champioai jam and jelly making? (G) Jackie Cooper, the ten-ycar-ol(J fHnx "star," has had his salary scf heavily cut that lie will have to livd in future on a miserable £260 a weckf (7) One of Napoleon's many nick* names was Rantipole, which means harum-scarum, half-fool, and half-madi man? (8) The farm population of the U.S. is now the largest in the history of tha nati0n—32,242,000? (!)) In-1851 the deaths in Britain1 from scarlet fever numbered 13,634^ and in 1931 they were only 540? (10) Sweden has the second oldesfi Parliament in the world? It assemble^ at Arboga in 1435.

I * ' .. * ♦' ■ • A 0-E BALLADE. It has been said that fair. Romaic! Is dead, but Ezra K. McO, A dashing" free (and easy) lance, Who wears the kilti (and a wO)j Will, in his forthright ■ way, .retO; The while ho cocks his weather eye;! "Dead? She? Why, she- is not that sO—* Eomanec can never, never, die! ; I've seen her flashing past Pcnzancal Elusive as a vagroui thO, . From freezing Frome to fiery Prancaj jI have pursued her till distrO. .' Through jangling jungles I have fO To catcli a glimpse of her go by. Dead? She? Forgive my hearty snO-^ , • Roinanco can never, never die! Though you may come on her by chancy Sho is not destined to bo cO. She flies you with a fleeting glance Of mystery and mischief frO, In unexplored far lands to spO Beneath a strange uncharted skvi Dead? She? Who burbled that repOl' Romance can never, never die! Envoi. • She is the deathless fair, in shO, ' And if that challenge you defy I'll bet a'firkin to a quO Romance can never, NEVER dies'*

■ # » • ERUDITION TEST. . Dear Flagc,— As the Sar'n Maj. of col. S'l General Knowledge squad it's up to you, sir. I have just come across m G.K. school paper set a while ago for! the flabbergasting of an English publiai school. The boys were requested to define the Atlas bone, goulash, goonhilly, dognopcr, bainevelder, pangolin* granny's teeth, and the Pardon of Plougastel!- The examiners wanted to know also at what time John Browdie proposed, when the Apostles in Stras« bourg made their circuit, and if Queen Anno fell insensible before her dock!) I don't suppose it would help a. feller to a decent job if he answered correctly all thoso questions, but it would-be some evidence that, in his class- or his reading since, he had picked up oddments of information which count for erudition in these myopic days. If you are "flunked" on this you will bo hopelessly discredited, but it would be a subtle revenge if you countered next Saturday with a similar collectioi of braiustormers. FATIGUE DUTT