A SOCIAL SERVICE WOBKER'S LAMENT.

Evening Post, Volume CIV, Issue 7, 8 July 1922, Page 17

A SOCIAL SERVICE WOBKER'S LAMENT.

I was a social worker With my mind upon reports,, I worked from early morn to _ewy ; <'eve»r I saved the poor from starving, I closed the dance resorts, I led a busy life, you may believe. I superintended clinics For the halt, the lame and blind, I weighed and measured children by^the> score; I pinched them and I poked them, But they never seemed to mind, And always came back patiently formone. I worked along contentedly. With other folks' affairs, I changed the social service -with -the* style, Until quite unexpectedly And wholly unawares A doctor came who had tbej.nieest smile. He opened up a clinio For the broken hearts of all, " Oh, I became his patient on the spot! He said my heart was hardened, That it wasn't broke at all I And that was all the sympathy I got. And. now he goes on probing hearts, Entirely unawares . Of mine—his worst heart case .'little; moan, And I—l go on minding^ All the other folks' affairs. And hoping that soma day ITI have-tiny own! s, —Mabel Cleland Ludlum (New .York Life). "Mamma! Will you make Freddie stop? He asks. God to bless me, then he says things under his breath.", Tlie Doctor—What sort of delusions do you say you have? The Patienir-Well, last night at the club I distinctly saw on the hearthrug a Bnako quite a majority of the members assured me wasn'tl, there. . First Stranger—"l, say, that's my umbrella you have." Second Stranger—"l daresay it is, sir; I bought it at a pawnshop." East—-It'a hard to keep a good man down. Fauntleroy—That's why they put such heavy, monuments over some of them, I suppose. Nothing is-easier than fault-finding; no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, aro required to set up in the grumbling business. "What was the banquet for?" "To wel-' come a Minister Plenipotentiary." "I hope you didn't drink too much." "If I had, I would never have attempted that word. Editor—Mary 1 Please take the oat out of the room. I cannot • have it making such a noiso while I am at work. Whore is it? Mary—Why, sir, you are sitting pn it! Her Father—What? You say, you are engaged to Fred? I thought I told you not to give him any encouragement? His Daughter—l don't. He doesn't need any. Husband—l have just been seeing poor Mrs. Blackodged. How captivating she looks in widow's weeds! Wife—lt is unfortunate, my dear, that we can't all be widows. Little Rodger—Why is this little town called a hamlet, Uncle John? Uncle John —After Shakespeare's character of that name, Rodger. He was a melancholy man, this is a melancholy place. Traveller—"Last week I sent a wire from Loudon to Rogers and Co._ of this town." Postal Official—"Yes, sir—what about it?" Traveller—"Well, if you know where to find it, I'll take it round to them myself." She—"l would never marry a man who was a coward." He—"About how brave would it be necessary for him to bo in order to win your approval?" She— "Well, he'd have to have courage enough to—er—propose." "Who isjhe wisest man mentioned in the Scriptures?" asked a teacher of one of her Sunday-school class. 'Taul," e_.olaimed the little fellow, confidently. "Oh, no, Johnnie; Paul was a very good man, but Soloman is mentioned as the wisest man." "Well, my father says Paul was the wisest man, beoause he never married, and I think my father ought to know," replied the boy emphatically.