Domestic Difficulties in Westrulia.

Evening Post, Volume LIV, Issue 141, 11 December 1897, Page 2 (Supplement)

Domestic Difficulties in Westrulia.

Weat Australia, so far as mining is concerned, says an English paper, is now said to be looking up, but there are difficulties there of which the City takes no notice. An indignant lady writes complaining of being not only without a servant, but ' dreadfully bothered for want of a washerwoman.' She made a bargain with ono for 6s a day and railway fare, but whether the washer person made a rise on 'Change in the meantime, or married a millionaire, when the day to begin work came she scornfully declined the job. The butcher, on being appealed to, ' knew of two, but did not like to recommend either.' Then the lady seems to have turned to the baker, but he could not render much more help than the butcher. Finally, ' a young girl condescended to oome for one day, ' but the writer asks society to try and imagine her feelings when this person appeared before her in ' a fashionable black crepon dres*, a silver bangle on her wrist, and her hair done up in curling-pins.' She certainly must have presented a pretty gorgeous vision at the wash-tub, but is that a matter to go into lamentations over ?

The conscript fathers of the city of Boon have such an appreciation of the value of pure air that they have put a tax upon it. Amongst the new building regulations issued by the Bonn Munioipal Council there is a clause fixing the annual sums to be paid • for the use of the columns of air above the city streets.' The common air is appropriated to individual and family by the erection of a projeoting window or balcony. The sum to be paid for ' a simple balcony ' is 50 marks, and for each balcony over it 25 marks, or a projecting series of windows 100 marks. It remains to be seen whether the State authorities will give their sanction to this eooentrio and uaiaue tax.

almost as he did so he conceived their musical equivalent. A stray sheet of inusio paper was at band, and he begun to write.' Slowly the music grew and took shape, until, becoming quite absorbed in it, he determined to finish the song In a short time it was complete, and not long afterwards in the publisher's hands. Thus was written 'The Lost Chord,' perhaps the most successful song of modern times— at all events, one whose sale has, up to now, exceeded 250,000 copies. It is said that milk will soon be bought by the brick just the name as some kinds of ice-cream. It will be frozen solid, and if intended for use as soon as received in the household, the lacteal fluid for the tea or coffee will have to be chipped off with the handle of the knife or fork, according to the quantity desired in the drink. The Belgian Government designs to increase the trade at an annual outlay of £10,000, and in Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark, a company has been formed and arrangements have been completed for the regular export, all the year round, of frozen milk. A Russian admiral says the North Pole might be reached in 12 days with the assistance of ice- breaking steamers. A remarkable engineering feat was accomplished on 17th October, when the Pennsylvania Railway Company removed the old bridge over the Schuylkill River, and simultaneously replaced - 1 by a heavier steel structure 242 ft long and 20ft wide. The moving operation was completed in 2min 28sec, and a train crossed the pew bridge within twelve minutes of the starting of the work. To shift the aggregate weight of 117 tons four stationary engines were required, and they hauled the old bridge away and the new one into place without the least hitch or trouble or derangement of the traffio upon the busiest railway in the United States. When the Liege Cathedral caught fire recently the fire was first perceived by the people of a circus in an adjoining open space, and the flames were oheoked by the vigour and agility of the aorobats, who easily reaohed points very inaccessible to ordinary men, until the fire brigade came

called to see the editor, M. Gautey, in company with a lady friend, a young tailoress named Madeline Medaille. As the editor held out his hand to greet them, Richards suddenly seized hold of his arm, whilst the girl produced a revolver and fired point blank at him, breaking hw wrist. He managed to dodge a second shot, and a third missed him, and lodged in Riohards's back, much to the distress of the girl. Attraoted by the noise, a policeman appeared, and arrested all three, Richards being Sent to the hospital. The recent floods in the neighbourhood of Nice swept down the tombs in the cemetery, and there wan a terrible spectacle of open graves and coffins scattered about. G-am-betta's tomb, says the Paris correspondent of the Daily Chronicle, is ruined, and so far no step has been taken for its restoration. It is said that Mr. Hall Came, who was personally canvassed by Major Pond, resisted the allurements of a hundred-lecture tour through the States on the score of the fatigue it would involve ; but Major Pond is far from despairing of his ultimate capture. Of the British officers now engaged in the war in India, those most immediately in view are General Jeffreys, General Westmacott, and General Yeatman Bigga. General Jeffreys is tho youngest of the three. He is still under 60, and is an old Marlborough boy, with sorvices to point to both in Zululand and Burmah. He has for the last year officiated as BrigadierGeneral in command of the Bind DiHtriot, and has a high reputation in military circles at Simla. General Westmacott is a Rossall boy, with a reoord of service in the Bombay Army aiuce 1859, so that he was just too late for the Mutiny He was one of the Soudan expedition of 1886, and has taken part in operations in almost every disturbed corner of British India. General Yeatman Biggs has for some time commanded the Presidency district, Bengal. He, too, has done work in many parts — in China, and in South Afrioa, and with the Egyptian expedition of 1882. The General is the son of a country gentleman of Dorsetshire, and has himself his home in Wilt* •hire, but this, of oourse, he seldom aeei.

He had a full Highland costume up to the waist, a white shirt and swallow- tailed coat, and the edifice was crowned by a chimney-pot hat upon whioh he had unconsciously sat. His lordship's horror when he stepped upon the platform and felt the keen wind biting his bare legs increased to absolute agony when his valet appeared scrambling out of the carriage with a pair of trousers in his hands, waving them wildly and exclaiming: — 'My lord, my lord, you've forgotten these 1'

Mamma : Why did you strike little Elsie, you naughty boy, you P Dick : Well, what did she want to cheat for, then P Mamma : How did she cheat P Dick : Why, we were playing at Adam and Eve, and she had the apple to tempt me with — and she never tempted me— but went and ate it all up herself ! The Football Season has commenced. — Employer : You say you would like to go to your grandmother's funeral this afternoon, James P James : Yes, sir, if it doesn't rain. A olergyman, famous tor his begging abilities, was once catechizing a Sundayschool. When comparing himself — the pastor of a church — to a shepherd, and his congregation to the sheep, he put the following question to the children : ' What does the shepherd do for the sheep P' To the amusement of those present a small boy in the front row piped out : ' Shears them !' Commercial (retiring to rest) : Boots, call me to-morrow morning at six o' clook. Boots: Yes, sir; if you'ty just touch your bell then, I'll come up and wake you immediately. Old Gentleman : ' What would you like to be when you grow up P' Boy : ' I'd like to be a briokliyer.' 'That's a commendable ambition. Why would you like to be a bricklayer P' "Cause there's so many days when brioklayers can't work.' Diner * Isn't that a rather small steak P Waiter : Yen, sir ; but you'll find it will take you a good while to eat it. j

Foreman . There are two columns of advertising space left unoccupied. Editor : Then put in, 'Watch this space in our next issue !' May: What's that for, Charlie P Charlie: That's a trap to catch the wretched little birds that watch and whisper to mamma everything that I does. Lord Braxfield, a Scotch Judge, once said to an eloquent culprit at the Bar : You're a vera clever chiel, mon ; but I'm thinkin' ye wad be nane the waur o' a hangin'. 'Well, Pat, have you learned to ride your bicycle yot ?' ' Sorra a bit, sor. Sure Oi can't aven balance mesilf standin' still, let alone roidin I .' The Lady: You here again P The Tramp : Yes, kind lady. The Lady : Well, I won't help you again. I don't believe you've done a thing all the summer ! The Tramp : Indeed, I have, mum ; I've just done thirty days. ' Always speak well of your neighbour.' ' I always do, although I can assure you she is the meanest woman in creation.' ' Every man needs a wife to brighten up the place.' 'Yes, but suppose he hasn't any place ?' Business View. — 'My father is a great believer in bicyoling.' 'Is he a dealer?' 'No, a doctor.' A lady in Brixton, about to engage a cook, aßked, 'How about references?' ' Oh, I don't require any from a nicelookin' lady like yourself,' said the cook. A Yankee, in describing a gale of wind, says: 'A white dog, while attempting to weather the gale, was caught with his mouth open and turned completely inside out.' ' Well, Charlie, old man, getting on all right with your bike?' 'Yes, I'm right enough, I am. Ran down two old ladies and three dogs yesterday without falling 'You can't allus tell whah ter put de credit by lookin' at de surface,' said Uncle Eben. 'De cork on de fishing-line dances aroun' an' 'tracts a heap o* 'tension. But it's de hook dats doin' business.' Bereaved Widow : I want something short and simple for my husband's tombstone. Dealer* How do you like 'Resurgam?' Bereaved widow: What does that mean? Dealer: I shall rise again. Bereaved widow : No ; make it 'Rest in Peace.' 'It's surprising how unpractical some very learned men are.' 'Yes; there's Professor Lingwist, for example. He Bpent over half his life in acquiring fluenoy in nine or ten different languages, and then went and married a wife who never gives him a chance to get a word in edgeways.' Bess : Why are you going to the sewing cirole when you have such a headache ? Cora : Well, I don't want to go, but they alwayß gossip about the absent member. Innocent Housewife (timidly) : They look nice, but— but isn't there a slight smell P Fish- Hawker (gruffly) : Oh, that's the sea-water. Caught, praps, when the tide was on the turn. Uncle : I don't know about lending you any more mopey. When I lent you money two months ago you said you only wanted it for a little while. Nephew: Well, I didn't keep it long,