HUMOROUS description OF A BABY.

Dunstan Times, Issue 2486, 21 June 1909, Page 4

HUMOROUS description OF A BABY.

' The zoological curiosity " baby” is ! A’idcly distributed over the habitable globe. I It has been found by Arctic explorers in the ice dwellings of the Esquimaux, serenely i sucking a lump of whale blubber, and in Mr-:’ own country investigators have frequently observed it diligently crunching coal cinders. Asia possesses a multitudinous variety, and in books of Indian life and customs, wc have instances where crocodiles in quest of a dinner have been gratuitously supplied with one or two babies by the Indian ladies, but in highlycivilised countries this curious custom does not prevail, owing, as is generally supposed, to a lack of crocodiles.

Every census reveals the fact that babies are on the increase, and now almost ever* house has its baby—or two. Specimens have been found from time to (lino neatly enveloped in a newspaper, snugly reposing on the doorsteps of respectable citizens, and as the strictest investiga:on has failed to discover from whence they ci.mc, we arc forced to the conclusion ‘hat they arc of a mclcorolitish origin.

The class is divided into two sections—boy babies and girl babies. It grows in two directions simultaneously., to length and breadth, rr.d often weighs as much as a small-sized sack ot coals.

It is provided with four limb-like appendages, one at each corner, which it uses with a spider-like movement as a means of progression. Its principal aim seems to be the creation oi discordant noises ; to this end it devotes its powers, and succeeds in many cases in arriving at great perfection. The soli small hours are generally utilised by it in practising and perfecting this remarkable laculty. If left in charge tj a man il invariably resorts to aggravating devices to render Hie Intensely miserab’e, and in all cases it must be uaudled with extreme caution

For Chronic. Ghost Complaint?, Wood?’ Great Peppermint Cure. 1/6 & 2/6