RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 24, Issue 143, 13 March 1931, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events LOCAL AND GENERAL

(By

Kickshaws.)

A cynic declares that women are fools to marry. Mere man declares that If he could find anything better to marry he would. The incident of a tramcar passenger who handed the inspector a packet of chocolates and took a bite out of his concession ticket is merely a glaring instance of the forgetfulness that may arise in this “automatic-machine” age.

Counsel in a police court case jokingly measured the degree of drunkenness of an accused man by the fact that “he threw a full bottle of beer through the window.” If only some sure, infallible, and easily-made test could be devised for drunkenness the police would walk the streets with an easier mind. Even the case quoted above is by no means a certain test for drunkenness. Ardent prohibitionists might well throw a full bottle or peer through a window without being in the least drunk. It is not always easy to tell when a man is drunk. In some cases men have been arrested for drunkenness when in reality they were suffering from an overdose of insulin.

What appears to be intoxication may arise from numerous causes, including epilepsy, fractured skull, intense cold, and internal bleeding of the brain, iu the case of a fractured skull the problem is rendered more difficult still. A man supposed to be “dead drunk” may have fallen while mildly influenced by drink, resulting in a fracture at the base of the skull producing profound coma. There have been instances in which the serious injury has been overlooked. The man has been hustled, into a police cell instead of a. hospital. Indeed, a fracture of this nature cau only be determined by a medical mau. 'ah manner of efforts have been made, to And a really simple test for drunkenness. In some cases people have been asked to speak difficult phrases such as “British constitution,” “I stood outside Burgess’s fish sauce shop welcoming him home,” or even that wartime, ditty concerning “Sister Susie sewing shirts for soldiers.”

The trouble with the speech test .for' drunkenness is that people addicted to stuttering and not drunkenness cau fail miserably. In one small republicpossible drunkards were made.to walk along a white line. Those who succeeded were put outside until they became more drunk. In the case of unconsciousness there is, however, one fairly simple test that will indicate whether the condition is due to alcohol alone or to other causes. If the pupil of the eye is contracted but dilates when the individual is slapped or shaken or otherwise stimulated, the possibility of serious physical head injury may be ruled out. Acute alcoholic poisoning, so rudely called drunkenness, is, in fact, the only common form of coma in which the pupil of the eye will react to any stimulus except light.

A Hastings business man who found his safe had been broached has bad everything returned. It seems that the perpetrator had operated in all good faith on the wrong safe. Life would not be worth living if things like that did not happen occasionally. It shows how easy it is to make a living out of fraud; a living incidentally not subject to sudden cuts by an economical Government. Indeed, the State goes to the other extreme and grants free accommodation when the fraud is discoveredLet us, therefore, enjoy an occasion such as this to the full.

It is not often that things are not what they seem. Nevertheless, the other day all Poland opened its morning papers to read with surprise that a dangerous criminal was at large. The police had found a parcel containing 52 human ears in a railway carriage between Warsaw and Lodz. The ears were so fresh that experts declared that the crimes must have been committed within a few hours. Inquiries were instituted to find people who complained for the lack of an ear or so. Everyone in Poland seemed to have his full complement. . So-called experts had devised marvellous theories. But all the theories led nowhere. The mystery was not revealed until a man rushed into the police station demanding angrily his lost ears. He admitted that the parcel was his, but seemed annoyed at the stir such a minor event had aroused. He explained that he was an anatomical demonstrator. The ears were made of rubber. Nobody had thought of that!

Another amusing affair was recently staged in Sweden. Shortly before leaving hospital a proud mother had her daughter baptised with the delightful feminine names Gurli Ingegard. They were duly entered in the parish register by the vicar. Unfortunately when the fond parents returned home they discovered that their darling "Gurli” was a boy. So being of a philosophic turn of mind, they fitted out their late daughter with the charmingly boyish names of Gunnar Eugene. It is, however, more difficult to rename a baby than might be expected. The vicar doggedly pointed out that he had baptised a girl, and “once a girl always a girl.” “He” had been called by a girl's names in the parish register, which was unalterable, whatever l lie subsequent sex might be. After long delay the problem had to be brought before the King himself. A special writ was drafted permitting the muchdebated infant to be entitled to belong to the male sex and to be called Gunnar Eugene. Obviously at a christening one cannot be too careful.

Concerning fingerprints, mentioned the other day in this column, a reader adds: There is no reason why the fingerprints of a baby should not be taken. Hospital authorities might indeed save , themselves no-end of trouble if they took this precaution—provided the owners of the baby did not object. It must not be thought, however, that fingerprints are any proof of paternity or maternity once a baby has got muddled up. There is no connection whatsoever between the prints of father, mother and the baby. In some of these “mix-ups,” therefore, once the trouble has occurred some other means would have to be used to find the real, parents. Nothing very satisfactory has been developed. It is possible to make a fairly od guess at the parents as a result of complicated blood tests. But the method is not infallible. The colour of the eyes is another hopeful metaod. According to present discoveries two brown-eyed parents may have blueeyed children, but two blue-eyed parcuts cannot have brown-ojod chituicn.