IN HAPPY DAYS

Dominion, Volume 10, Issue 3065, 28 April 1917, Page 10

IN HAPPY DAYS

(By "Wi.")

A DEAL IN NATURAL HISTORY

A certain experience in the theory and practice of education has convinced mo: (a) That in the . worst rascal thoro is a sediment of virtue; (h) That you might as well tie a brick to the neck of a dog and drop him over tho edge of the wharf as give him a bad name. This story concerns a Bad Boy, tho judgment of a Headmaster, tho frailty of circumstantial evidence, . and the Professor's frogs, and tho moral, is stated iu tho convictions expressed in tho above preliminary ' observations, let us begin with the Professor. Learned gentlemen who sit in chairs of biology find it necessary to keop frogs, not as a pastime, but in tho /interests of science. I don't know what happens to tho frogs after they enter tho university, but whatever it is thero's no call for tho S.P.C.A. to butt in. Suffice it to say that Science has decreed that frogs shall he martyred in the cause of Her advancement. Hence the market for these "interesting biological specimens"—did I hear a chuckle from the Hill? —is always firm at Ijto rates. Between tho dignity of the prof esorial chair . and the innocuous sport of frog-catching there is an unbridgeable gulf, which introduces tho Headmaster and tho Bad Boy. Tho Professor's supply of frogs had run low, and in his scientific extremity he applied to tho Headmaster, offering ruling ratesthreepence per dozen—lor a steady delivery of supplies. Tho offer went forth to tho school, and tho Bad Boy undertook the contract. His name was Baldy.' In respect of frogs,. Baldy was a mighty hunter before tho Lord, and the Professor's anxiety, at threepence per dozen, was allayed. Tho terms of tho contract specified that tho.frogs, in tins, should bo delivered in tho Headmaster's room, whore payment was made on behalf of the other contracting party. Js T ow it fell upon a- day that Baldy, having delivered his tin of frogs as per contract, went back to his class room, and in the eternal cussedness of things fell foul of the first assistant at singing time. Baldy didn't know B from a Bull's Foot, but under the discipline of the first assistant's ideas, ho was compelled, in tho languago of _ the Tyrant, to "make a joyful noise." Baldy, overestimating the intensity of the required "noise," attracted more attention than was good for discipline, and was promptly called out, publicly degraded, and compelled to sit between two' girls. This crowning humiliation reduced Baldy to sullen silence. "To make it worse," said he to me years afterwards, "one o' the girlß was a Syrian,! and she'd been eating garlic. I can stand onions, but garlic was over the odds."

The rays of the afternoon sun, slanting in through the windows, and telling their story of the great Out-of-Doors, cast a beam on the desk in front of Baldy, inspired and' illumined his mind, and cheered his spirits. He took from his pocket a small piece .of burning glass, and held itjn his hand in such a position that the rays could be deflected upon the olive-skin-ned neck of the little Syrianmaid, who sat, open-mouthed, carolling with youthful energy in the musical tumult. The verso ended, and in'the-silence between that and the next verse the burning glass developed its full intensity. "Ee—owl" A small female shriek cut- the 'silence, with ..paralysing .distinctness..-. Tho Tyrant descended upon the' spot. - - -■■ ■ • ~ ).. :,'■ . "What's the matter?" he demanded, glowering at Baldy. "Please, sir, I tttjilk sho must have pricked herself with a pin," said Baldy. ' ■ •..-■,- Then the tyrant caught sight of the burning glass, and. in the language of the playground, "the balloon went up." Baldy was sent into the Headmaster. Tho sanctum was empty,- but it bore signs of" recent occupation, for the Head's hat lay, inverted, on the table,, and near'tho hat was the frog tin,' Baldy stood by the door and awaited the arrival of Nemesis. He had not long to wait. Nemesis arrived in an obvious hurry, looked round for his hat, and at the same time was' informed by Baldy that he had come to he caned. Now, when a man tries to do two things at once his attention is apt to b» divided, to, the detriment of either or both of the two things. The Head picked up the cane and clapped his hat on at the same time. .' "Good gracious!" he ejaculated, in a startled voice. "What ——" He hurriedly removed his hat, and a frog fell out of it. Of course, Baldy was caned—with a few extra for the frog. The bad dog, you know. Also, the frog contract was arbitrarily cancelled on the. spot. "Now, as true as I'm sitting here telling you the yarn," said Baldy to me, "I'don't know how that frog into the hat. Was it a, fair thingwas it?" "It was circumstantial evidence, sufficient to hang you," I said.