THE TALE OF A TUBE

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2766, 9 May 1916, Page 8

THE TALE OF A TUBE

AN UNDERGROUND. AFFAIR

In his interesting chronicles of. life at the front "Junior Sub" gives tho following intensely interesting account in'.tho February - instalment:—■ Bertie the;BadgerMn private life ho was a. consulting mining engineer with a beautiful office and a nice taste in spats—scratched an earthy noise with a. muddy forefinger. "I think they are making , a defensive gallery, sir," he announced. "Let us have .your statement in tho simplest possible language, please," said the colonel. "Some of my younger officers," he added rather ingeniously, "are not very expert in those matters." Bertie the Badger thereupon expounded tho situation with solemn relish. By a defensive gallery, it appeared that he meant a lateral tunnel running parallel with the trench-line, in such a manner as to intercept 3ny tunnel pushed out by the British miners. "And wliat do you suggest doing to this Piccadilly Tube of theirs?" inquired the colonel. . "I could dig forward and break into it, sir," .suggested Bertie. "That seems a move in the right direction," said the colonel. "But won't tho Bosche try to prevent you?" "Yes, sir."

"How?" "He will wait until the head of in.v tunnel gets near enou.;h, and- then blow it in." "That would be very tiresome of him. What" other alternatives are open to you ?" . "I could get as near as possible, sir," replied Bertie calmly, "and then blow up liis gallery." That sounds better. Well, exercise your own discretion and -don't get blown up unless you particularly want to. And above all be quite sure that while you arc amusing yourself with the Piccadilly Tube, the wily Bosche isnt burrowing past you, and under my parapet by the Bakerloo! Good luck. Report .any fresh development at once." • ■ . ■ ; So Bertie tlio Badger returned once lnoro to Jus native element and proceeded to_ exercise his discretion. This took the form of continuing his aggressive tunnel in, the direction of the Bosche deiensivo gallery. Next morning, 'encouraged by tho absolute silence of the enemy's miners, he made a farther and final push, which actually landed him ui the "Piccadilly Tube" itself. ' ."'l'his is a rum go, Howie!" he observed in a low voice to his corporal "A long, beautiful gallery, live by four;' lined with wood, electrically lighted with every modern convenience—and not a Bosche in it!"

"Varra bad discipline, sir!" replied Corporal Howie severely. "Are youisure it isn't a trap?" "It may be, sirr ; but I doot the overs, maiv is awa to his dinner, and the men are back in the shaft, doing naethiug " Corporal Howie had been an 'overs* man",. himself 3 and knew something of subterranean labour problems. "Well, if you are right, the Bosfche must be getting demoralised. It is not like him to present us wicli openings like this. Howover, the first thing to do is to distribute a few souvenirs aW the gallery. Pass the word back for t'ho stuff. Meanwhile I shall endeavour to test your theory about the oversman's dinner-hour. I am going to creep along and have a look at the Boscho entrance to the Tube. It's down there at the south end, I think, I osn.eea a break in tho wood lining, if yon hear any shooting,' you will know that tho dinner-hour is over!" At tho end of half an hour the Piccadilly Tube was lined with sufficient explosive material —sevorely rammed and tamped—to ensure the permanent closing of tho line. Still no Bosciie had been seen or heard. "Now, Howie," said Bertie the Badger, fingering the fuse, "what about it ?" , "About what, sirr?" inquired Howie,

nho was not quite nu fait with current catch-phrases. "Are wo going to touch off ail this etuif noiv, and clear out, or ate wo going to wait and see?" "I would ' like line " began tlio Corporal wistfully. "tio would I," said Bertie. "Toll the men to get back and out; and you and I will hold on until the guests return from the banquet." "Varra. good, sirr." 5V)r another half-hour the pair waited—Bertie tho Badger 'like a dog in its kennel, with his head protruding into the hostile gallery, wliilo his faithful henchman crouchcd closo behind him. Deathly stillness reigned, relieved only by an occasional thud, as a shell or trench-mortar bomb exploded upon tho ground above their lieads. "I'm going to havo another look round tho corner," said Bertie at last. "Hold on to tho fuse." He handed the end of tho fuse to hia subordinate, and having wormed his way out of the tunnel, proceeded cautiously on all-fours along the gallery. On liis way he passed the electric light. Ho twisted off the bulb and crawled on in tho dark.

Feeling his. way by the east wall of the gallery, he came, presently to the break in tho woodwork. Very slowly, lying flat on his stomach now, he wriggled forward until his head came opposite tho opening. A low passage' ran away to liis left, obviously leading back to the Boscho trenchcs. Three yards from tbo entrance the passage bent sharply to tho right, thus' 1 interrupting the line of sight", . "There's a light burning just round that bend," said'Bertio the Badger to himself. "I wonder if it would bo rash to go on and have a look at itt" Ho was still straining at this gnat, when suddenly hia elbow encountered a shovel which was loaning. against tho wall of the gallery. It tumbled down with a clatter alniost- stunning. Next moment a hand came round the bend of the tunnel and fired a revolver almost into tho explorer's face. Another shot rang out directly' after. The devoted Howie, hastening to -the rescue, collided sharply with a solid body crawling towards him in 'the darkness. '■'Curse you, Howie!" said the voioo of Bertie the Badger, with refreshing earnestness. "Get back out of this 1 AVhere's your fuse?" The pair scrambled back into their own tunnel, and the ond of tho fuse was soon recovered, Almost simultaneously three more revolver shots rang out.

"I thought I had fixed that Boscho," murmured Bertie in a disappointed voice. "I heard him grunt when my bullet Perhaps this is another one —or several. Keep back in tho tiinnol, Howie, confound you, and don't breathe up my, sleeve I They are firing straight along tho gallery now. I wili return the compliment. Oucli!" "What's the matter, sirr?" inquired the anxious voice of Howie, as his officer, who had tried to fire round tho corner with'liis left hand, gave a sudden exclamation and rolled over upon his side. "I must hare boon hit the. first time," he explained. "Collar-bone, I think. I didn't know, till I iested my weight on my, left elbow.'. . . Howie, I am going to exercise my discretion again. .Somebody in >this gallery is going to ho blown up presently, and if you and I don!t get a move on, Ij.d.q., it will be. usl Give me the fuselighter,.and wait' for mo at the foot of the shaft. Quick 1"

Very- reluctantly, the corporal 'obeyed. However, he was in due courso joined at the foot of the shaft by 'Bertie tho Badger, groaning profanely • and the pair made their way to tho upper regions with all possible speed. After a short interval, a sudden rumbling, followed by a .heavy explosion, announced thnt the fuse had done its work, and that' the Piccadilly Tube, tho fruit of many toilsome weeks of Boscho calculation and labour, had been per. mancntly closed to traffic of all descriptions. Bertie the Badger received a Military Cross, and his, abettor the D.C.jVI.