RAISING THE WIND!

Cromwell Argus, 30 September 1929, Page 4 (Supplement)

RAISING THE WIND!

"I been doing a bit of garden work to-day," said Josh Pudson. "Not that I got a garden of my own. I'm one of the sort that is 'ere to-day and gone off somewhere else to-mor-row. A garden to a chap like me would be like a policeman in front of a runaway pickpocket a hencumbrance to be avoided.

"But I've got a certain snip for the races to-morrow, and I 'ad to raise a bit of money some'ow. Knowing a sure winner without backing it shows a regrettable lack of henterprise. "Well, I tried to touch one or two puis for a bob or two, but I'd touched 'em once or twice before and they was still a bit tender and raw. And there was two or three pals what I couldn't try, as they'd been tried already that week, and was doing sentences in consequence.

"So, in the end, I thought of making a bit by doing a gardening job. I don't know much about gardening, but you can bet that if money is to be made by knowing anything about anything, I know it!

"Once I did 'ave an allotment, but it was only for about twenty minutes, and then they come along and asked me to stump up for the rent. my henthusiasm 'ad 'ad time to cooly so I did the other thing they give me the choice of doing. I'd seen the foolishness, by then, of paying good money to be servant to a row of cabbages! "No, it was jobbing woi'k I done today, and I didn't make a bad job of it neither. It was a very bright and sunny morning this morning, and that always make front gardens look untidy and desolate. Besides, I invented seme new ideas about all-the-year-round, perpetual, intensive cultivation for gardens, and told the tale very convincing whenever I 'ad a chance. "Before I started off I looked up last Sunday's paper and i-ead the gardening column, so as to be able to talk skilful about flowers if the need arose. But the paper wasn't much of a 'elp, for it kept on mentioning rare plants with names that sounded like doctors' prescriptions. "So in the end I fell back on my own support, as the old chap said when 'e sat down sudden on the pavement. I began by hacquiring a threepenny interest in a motor-bus concern, for prophets ain't the only ones without honor in their own neighborhood. "Presently I 'ops off the bus, and looks round till I finds a nice little avenue of villas, the kind where all the men go off bumping and boring each other every morning in the 'Andicap Race to catch the 8.32 to the City.

"I goes to a 'ouse called ' 'Omeleigh.' The lady of the 'ouse comes out at my ring, and I give you my word she was comely, too! I spins 'er my tale about scientific non-stop gardening, and asks to be allowed to trim up her mouldy little bit of patch—calling it 'front garden' to 'er, of course. She says, 'No!' just like a trap shutting on a rat.

" 'Owever, I've got a natural gift for being chatty, so I stands there talking and nodding my 'ead, though all the time I'm keeping my eyes open. And presently, across the way at 'Oakhurst,' I see someone 'aving a good look at us from be'ind the curtains.

"I nods good morning, and across the road I steps to 'Oakhurst.' I rings at the bell and tells 'em that the lady at ' 'Omeleigh' *as given me 'er garden to do up, but the spade 'appens to be broke, and so she says please will they lend me one. And so they does, very willing and neighborly, and back I goes with it to " 'Omeleigh.' '• 'Sorry to trouble you again so soon, mum,' I says. 'The lady at "Oakhurst" has given me the job of doing up 'er garden, but she can't find the rake. She sends 'er compliments and says will you please lend 'er your rake for a hour or two?'

"She looks at me, sees me standing there with the spade in my 'and as if I'd just come straight from the job, and agrees to lend me the rake. "So I puts the rake and the spade over my shoulder and strolls over to 'Oakhurst' again. " 'The lady at " 'Omeleigh" is very much obliged to you,' I says, 'and she wants to know if this is your rake. If so, she's sorry she forgot to send it back sooner.'

" 'No, that ain't our rake,' they says

" 'Mind you, the lady said she wasn't quite sure where it 'ad been boi'rored from,' I remarks. 'She said if it didn't come from 'ere, it must 'ave come from Mrs. —Mrs. Jones, is it?' " 'No, there ain't a Mrs. Jones in this street, not as we knows of,' they says, shaking their 'eads. 'Was it Smith, p'raps? There is a Mrs. Smith.' " 'That was it!' I says. 'I remember new! It was Smith. Where does she live?' /

" 'At "The Ferns," ' they tells me. " 'Wonder if you'd mind pointing it out to me?' I asks, apologetic and bashful.

"The servant points out 'The Ferns' to me, very careful. And 'er mistress stands at the window of 'Oakhurst,' watching me go.

"The lady at ' 'Omeleigh' is at 'er window by now, and she see me going off, with the 'Oakhurst' servant directing me as if I was being sent on a errand. Off I goes down the road to 'The Ferns,' with the spade and rake. " 'l'm doing up the garden at " 'Omeleigh." ' I says, at the doors of 'The Ferns,' 'and the lady sent me 'ere and said please would Mrs. Smith lend 'er a garden fork, 'ers being broke in two places?' "Being neighborly neighbors, they says, 'Oh, yes,' and fetches me the fork. I put it over my shoulder along with the spade and the rake, and goes back a little way up the road, keeping out of the way of Mrs. Smith's windows. Then I dodges in at 'Westcombe.'

" 'I got a job doing the garden at "The Ferns,"' I says, 'and their lawnmower is out or order, so Mrs. Smith thought p'r'aps you'd kindly lend 'er yours?' "She was one of them sharp, nosey old gals at 'Westcombe.' and she looked a bit doubtful at me.

"P'r'aps you wouldn't mind me leaving my tools 'er till I brings the mower back to you?" I says. ' 'Oh, certainly you can leave 'em 'ere,' she says, reassured. "So I puts down the spade and the rake and the fork in a corner, and 'umps the lawn-mower on my shoulder. Then off I nips. "Seventeen-and-sixpence 'it fetched me at a little shop three streets away, and I've fifteen bob of it left to bring death or glory to me in the stop-press column to-morrow.

"There's money to be got out of gardening by anyone 'oo goes the right way about it!"