"FOWL" MURDER AT KIMBERLEY.

Cromwell Argus, Volume XLIII, Issue 2282, 29 January 1912, Page 7

"FOWL" MURDER AT KIMBERLEY.

HOW H3B LORDSHIP ENJOYED HIMSELF. •"South Africa" had a review of a book, entitled " Reminiscences of Kimberley." It is from the pen of Mr. Louis Cohen, and it contains some good stories. The following is one of the best of them : Rather later, than this period there came to the Diamond Fields the present Lord Jude on a visit to his brother, the Hon. Jacob St. Flllans, and another fraternal member of this family resident in Du Toit's Fan, whose Christian name I forget. These last two I knew very well, especially Peter, whom I met afterwards in London. I will make bold to say that three handsomer, gayer-hearted, more generous chaps never came out of Ireland to show the colonies the stun" Green Erin breeds. Of the trio L«*d Jude took the palm for looks and manners, and was better than a lord—he was a very fine fellow. Tall, with a lithe, graceful' figure, he seemed just the kind of man to make a hole in a woman's heart, and to be afcaooeh and true to his friends. The sunniest of optimists, he was the very embodiment of fun and high spa-its, the essence of which lived and sparkled in his merry eyes. I must, however, confess my first conversation with him somewhat disappointed me. He was staying at Alexandersfontein, the name of the farm situated a few miles from Kimberley, and on which was erected a hotel kept by Mrs. Bisset, her daughter Maggie, and her sons. With him was the redoubtable Captain Jobeon, who, like Tom Moore, dearly loved a lord. Weil, his lordship had expressed a wish to purchase a diamond, and Jobson had asked me if I would buy one for his friend, attracted by the appearance of Jude, I gladly undertook the commission, and one morning bought for twenty pounds a fine four-carat glassy stone and mounting my pony, rode to Alexandersfontein. When I drew bridle '-there, the two men were walking about a cabbage garden, and Jobson introduced me to his friend in that off-hand manner peculiar to some of the •"milingtary." Now, I had made up my mind not to make a shilling profit on my purchase, and after some introductory remarks, I showed Lord Jude the stone, which he handled, as amateurs will, gingerly, as if it were a hot coal. "What do you want for it.?" he inquired. "Twenty pounds!, your lordship, I answered. A hopeless, puzzled expression came over his frank and open face as he gazed inquiringly at the invincible martinet of Madeira. "Oh," put in the "Capting," feel- ■ ing bound, in exchange for a nobleman's friendship, to do something anti- Semitic in honour of his regiment and the aristocracy in particular. "Oh, Cohen, I suppose that means fourteen or fifteen pounds. I know," he sagely added, bobbing his black-haired head. "'Yes," echoed Jude, looking a« if he'd now quite mastered the intricacies of the diamond trade. "That's it, fourteen or fifteen." i I turned red, rather abruptly took | my diamond from the Irish noble- j man, and, jumping on my' pony, said as I rode away—"Thank you. Your lordship couldn't buy it for double now. Good day. (I may mention that on my ; road back I sold the stone in Du | Toit's Pan for thirty pounls.) Yob see, it was this way. The gal- j lant "Captain" thought he would show Lord Jude that he knew how j te treat Hebrews, who were only fit j as the legend goes, to borrow money . from. There is no doubt that Lord Jude j enjoyed himself hugely during his dlamondiferouß sojourn, and I do not know any visitor who ever became quite so general a favourite. Surely Charles Lever must have had such a figure in hla mind's eye when he sketched some of his rollicking Irishmen. One fine night, or rather morning, about two o'clock his lordship and a couple of friends thought a drive from Alexandersfontein into Du Toot's Pan under a starry canopy a good idea, so they inspanned horses to Rossmore's Gape cart, and away the three jolly souls went, helterskelter over rHts, boulders, and the devil knows what. On arriving at "The Pan" they drove up to a hotel and found it closed, but what is a closed hotel to the 'descendants of thor l men who defended Drogheda ? So i his lordship broke a window, and the trio, clambered into the wine bar, regaled themselves with a bottle of champagne, and drank toasts to the glory of Ireland. After finishing ♦ the "fizz" Rossmere left a note,on the counter saying he had taken it and enjoyed it very much. (I believe that the proprietor has that note to this day, and treasures it.) Once more in the open, at the imminent risk of their necks, they drova madly back to Alexandersfontein at a pace that Pretty Polly would have envied. Arriving safely the driver managed to send the shafts of the cart into one of the canvas houses which were used as bedrooms and located around the principal building. Near there they outspanned, caught a plump fowl, roasted it, and, feeling thirsty, broke into the canteen belonging to the hotel and took another bottle of j champagne. Then the dear fellows went to bed and dreamt of home and beauty. At the usual matutinal hour Miss Margaret.Bisset, fresh and beautiful as the glorious morn itself, tripped gaily to her household duties. Ob going into the yard, however, a look of dismay overspread her pretty features, as she stood transfixed with ; horror at the scene in front, for i there .before her lay the dead en- j sanguined bodies of ail the cocks and hens belonging to the happy home•toad. ; It was Mk* a birdy battle

"ot _ Blenhelto. They reclined in all positions, dignified and undignified : some with their scaly legs cocked rigidly in the air, some with no heads, a nd some with no tails. At once she knocked timidly at the bedroom occupied by one of the bestknown and wildest spirits of the early morning. He came out in his pyjamas,, and the fair young lady, lowering her eyes like a nun at the sight of a statue, exclaimed : "My goodness ! Mr. So-and-so, see what you've done ! It's a shame, sir !" Mr. So-and-so passed his hand wearily across his aching forehead, blinked, wondered what he hadn't done, and tried to remember. "'I really don't know what you mean,, Miss—until I've had a whisky and soda." he replied, apologetically, ajad then accused the heat. "Well, you'd better come a iid see !" she answered, and added, "Ma will be cross, and no mistake." The accused stepped outside, and when he saw the sanguinary field quite anticipated that M a would be cross. "'But I didn't do it ?" he queried despairingly. "I don't know, I'm sure," answered Miss Bisset curtly, as she strutted away. So-and-so, hoping it was all a dream, hied himself to Jude's room and awakened that nobleman, who a.t once sat bolt up in bed. '"Jude," exclaimed So-and-so, fearfully, "they're all dead—killed !" "Who ?" questioned his lordship, yawning. "Why, the cocks and hens !" A ray of intelligence came over the handsome Irishman's face, followed by a look of ineffable satisfaction as he ejaculated : "I killed 'em." "But, Jude, there'll be a devil of a row." "Can't be more than there was last night," responded his lordship, gravely shaking his bead, as if doubting such a possibility. "I don't understand," responded 80-and-so. "Well, you see, it's this way," slowly explained the peer, caressing his broad chest. "When I went Ito bed last night, or rather at sunrise, I had scarcely shut my tired eyes when a shrill-voiced rooster began to crow as if the world was at an end. Now that isn't proper when a fellow wants to sleep, is it ? Be fair, I said to the thing," continued his lordship, as if this explanation made him a martyr, "I said to the thing 'Shut up !' but, of course," put in the debonnair Celt, opening his eyes wide as if astonished at the bird's temerity, "of course, he wouldn't. I warned him time after time, but all I got was 'Cock-a-doodle-do !' " he added, mournfully. "Now, where was I ? that's what I want to know. I couldn't allow him to keep on iusulting me, so I got out of bed, took down my gtin, a nd saying, "Take that, you !' shot him inside out, and," concluded Erin's son decisively "'curse the fool."

"But that's only one," interrupted Jude's visitor.

"Ah ! replied his lordship eagerly, ' as if he'd made a point at cribbage. "'Now we're coming to it. I had hardly got to bed again when an (avenging rooster did 'Cock-a-doodle-do !' worse than his brother, and as loud as Patti sings, so I served him J the same way. After that the whole brood got up a counfounded 'Cock-a-doodle-do !' conspiracy against me, so I cleared the entire bally lot out. And that's all," concluded Lord Jude languidly,' as, unconcernedly, he pulled the bed-clothes over his head, a ud the angels guarded his sleep. Naturally, when Mrs. Bisset ascertained the dire calamity which had overtaken her sacred poultry yard, she made a grant ado, for few people like to see their cocks and hens relentlessly murdered in the silent hours. In vain Lord Jude explained, with most charming naivete, that his exploit was the outcome of pure curtesy a nd chivalry, following the fashion of his country. The dame remained unconsolable and uncharitable, and really got very angry, when a wag remarked it was the Lord's will. At length peace was made, the merry sportsman paying the full price for the fallen fowls, and after giving compensation for the many bullet holes in the canvas houses, his lordship lit a cigar, put his hands in his pockets, and avowed a fixed, unalterable, and unchangeable determination to take the dead birds round Du Toit's Pan on his pony and sell them. However after some discussion with concerned companions, he suddenly changed his mind, and said he'd have a funeral and a burial but ultimately presented his bag of game to the hostess, who accepted them as a feathered peace-offering of the most substantial kind. But Rossmore, his friends, and the other innocent boarders had not yet heard the last of the slain birds, and though retribution came on the .guilty one, as is the way of the world in this life, the innocent suffered, too, for it is sad to relate that for weeks afterwards nothing was seen on the hotel tables at breakfast, taffin, or dinner but poultry. They had roast fowls, boiled fowls, stewed fowls, curried fowls, minced fowls, devilled fowls, grilled fowls, hot fowls, cold fowls, and parboiled fowls. Some of the boarders, averring that poultry did not harmonise with their palates preferred to live on the smell of the cooking, but as total abstainers as far as the flesh waß concerned. Others scampered off to Du Toit's Pan, and a few of the most timid fled to the hills.

The night before Lord Jude and bis brothers left the Diamond Fields they and their friends had a choice, select, and glorious spree. Life looked young and beautiful to them, as to the music of sparkling wine their hearty laughter added a triumphant chorus. Ah, these fleeting moments of happiness which in after years leave behind them onry the bitter regret that they can never come again. "No more, no more, oh, never more on me the fresh— of the heart can

lull like dew." iNevertheless, these i warm, dead summers are grimly pleasant to remember in the Gold winter of our lives. It was indeed a merry party. At the end of the jollification the conveyance arrived which was to take i the Judes to Cape Town, and the Boer driver of the coach, who was duly impressed with the importance of the Hon. Jacob St. Fillans, wish- : ing to show he knew how to address such an august personage.as a peer's brother, asked Peter deferentially, with a great show of a n -ious concern, "How's your honourable eye this morning ?'*—From "South African Sketches and Stories."