Funngisms.

Clutha Leader, Volume I, Issue 11, 17 September 1874, Page 4

Funngisms.

• ; Miss Prim never ; sits under any pastor who dares to talk to her about the ndked : truth. •' ' ■ ' ; ".' ; - ■•'-.•'. ' - ■•■•';...■'.■'■.• It is no mißfortririe : for a nice young : to ldsehergbod name if ai /dice young" man gives her a better. ; \ /• ; •'■: 'A schoolmaster 'in Ireland advertises thai ibe wilfkeep aSuriday-sChobl' twice a week .-H-Tuesdays and Friday. '••"/.; ;: ' ! • , An India rubber omnibus is about 1 to' be' invented, which/ when jam full; Will hold a cdiiple more/ _„ :; ''\-y •—''•' '•''•■ '•''■ - ■ '•' ' ; '< "; A ! rash yoiirig 1 mair has' threateried to '•/• appV the Maine liquor jaw to his, sweetheart, she intoxicates him so. ,' /'/ ' ;> , A school iri New York State setsforthjas its chief -attraction l ?!-" Pull boys waked up. and ket: agoing." 1 i \ : " ; r , : / A pastor of, the^Corigregationar'Chiirch' jwas once asked if ! he ! was an ; Independent 'ininister jhe replied; " Par from it ; : I 'am the minister of an Independent congregation." " •' '•'" ';'"■'■ •''• ; ' ■• ■'-

hi Sir ©eorge pose's doctor once gravely assumed him that he would live ,to ! be a, hundred; whereupon ! the " baroriet remarked, " Then . l suppose iriy coffin may he Vailed a ,'cent'ry box.", / ' '; ;Said a lady to her V Husband/ during 1 ; the, •iate : 'panic, "l ani' n'6t afraid 1 that we'shair ' ihave enough to live'onv I believe that' we eball be provided for if we only trust in. Providence." To which' 1 the husband : .replied,' "Well, you-lldivide with ', the/ ; children] won't ybu? arid,l ; will' look ont ' •' for myself tHebeßtT'<Jari , ." : ) i: ; „,: '' : ! -.'

: ' An ihtelligentfarhierl; being asked' if 'hia. horses well matched, Teplibdi "'X%sj J , they are matched first- fate*; bhebf • thenv ' r is' Willing tb; do all;the v wdrfc, and the' Other ' ,is willing he should.'' '"' - } ' -; ; ' -'• ; 'l - '"■'■- s; At a' Wedding the -other day 'one ''?6T the 7 " guest?, 1 / who is often a' '"little/ absent, hb'-i' -■'■ served* gravely; . " ThaveP remarked !: thia^ !J there have heeri more 7 women' 'thah^meh' - ■ this/year." ' v,'• ;f |;1 li "'■"* '-•'--:'.> I A countryman recently' came' t6%>wh/ ! toV' an article of household Necessity;' ' i arid Vin ':'' passirig a ' ppußic-^KopV- ob'|erv*edi ! /"All sorts Of -wind instruments -for sale •' here;" * \He i forthwith/stepped; iri' and asked : .for a "pair "of bellows;" /'* *'■<'[''-*■ b} ' ' "■"'- --} ' I "Isupri6se, n iMdh 9, cl'aa„ /while Reeling • ' ,'the^ulteW ; 'a p^tiehtwh6 u naa ! relhct»ritly-^ . to sbMt;hi^^ I vice^ ,C; I l suppose f:i . you/think* meW^ 1 . {gravely rejpiied the' siclc h_a^ <r _pff- r awaie/nritil now that you cduld ! so 'readUy < discover a/man's,; thoughts 1 By : feeling- his : 'pulse." 5 '■■.■> li " ; . • s ••»-'" v' ,y: ,M KX:}f ' :} * : -' -'<«• • / I '_:%^ f t^ah_ii^. _oM[_:'je_^ 9 9_|i>r: <r/ "■ -was glve;a r to "^turn'„m?6d9^6neiif f the^ i f soldiers 'broke' froh^tße„fc/ai_ wls ! 6fF _ s ' , rfpll^spm *"H_d'r' u^awled^the cb'm^r ; maridmg'offieer, ' Hwhere'are^^ ■J?ou!g6juis f P , * r ' i'flWwo^S^ ramr^od^l^bprrbWed/bf huri;" "Tori Said./' lt |Rettiffitaiaarod&; „MiJ' ( : * Hi * f « «fc*tjs tf^t^-t ,l { [Some'tim^^ . ' mafcF _teftaihe_ V* _ld^!a_W8 5 «*' 3 i s &btlattrj^wh„fr^ ! : of.sbiije>sv a^^ ; .wrth'viWdijfs tri^9-^meVri%rfmß_ig wirieii 'balfefln^ after! liftre"h»_ati_*l<_fip o_^raWer* dubidusly t]ft''ifts_ffi(3g{_<, wnfefc _8? .' b^-B_id v f»f„ ;i^^___ r<M «'Ah« *_ ibWMpl , bawbe^T" _c4a^ed f ? the^co„er.^"^W«r. ddubf£dift» KM«r__%?^i^SK^ *_#** seti't ,'» saia thf collie*; _& tWsuns itfrbW' £nd fduri'd'ffi^*^ tt^T^gJ^iWlflff__l*fift r -_ff.i^_ig«|fe* M f 'his s pockee,'Baia^ *^se i watofyeWScV* trirn^ inf& a _wt^W^-'^W' I 'The 7 prrncitja>iifia«aifi : Wliaiji%/i jnarry^year-f boff f 8i r sigb! &^ : «*otfifcV»? but a ; riewiaridlbrd 'dorriin^aria the fefehon r of' L„__P taking Up' hi* residerifii _' lft&? * ywihh.ft* the 1 ' s^^s^aßer^Fandi „# \' Bfer/dp^ taWtilrf^fdFtHe"*' Gbci«^ Wo beigfm&ulr%4ptei^ of this, _ift_op>d „0 „fe_ WjieWf&^wC ,aria ;f dri§#'!_u„»of^_*„stßn^ f*BnTtlrW j« jphofcM^V flfe&mfitr^^ io^gve^„eW«o'fe the Old Cock," ' * / -**

iii i.

Mr A Mercer reports— Freish butter, tho best o_ity la lOd to 2b per lb. second quality is 8d to Is «d, fresh-butter, in lumps Ib 6d to Is sd, salt butter, prime new season Is eaV second "quality, is 4d. "The auppjy of fresh butter ia coming into the market very freely, the quality improving and prices on the decline, and the grocers are now getting more than -enough to Bupply their customers, bide and rolled bacon is in good demand and very scarce, lid to la per lb, colonial hams Is to Is 2d, English hams, is ♦d to Is 6d, beef ham Bd, eggs. stUM continue to be very plentiful, and retailing at Is 2d per dozen. Messrs J. j^d A. Maclkan reportFat Cattle— The weekly market was again fully supplied on Wednesday, about' l4o head being forward ; bnt the quality was very inferior, there being only one or two pens of prime quality bee£ which were actively competed for, "and realised full rates. Our sales consisted of 50 head oh account of Messrs Nichol, Waldie, and others, which realised from L 6 Lls 17s 6d per head, according" to weight an\j quality. Any lots of prime quality now coming f or-1 ward meet with ready sale at full market rates, \ "Which we quote at from ,7a 6d to 355 -per lOUb, j medium ancl Inferior dull of sale at from 20s to s>sß. Fat Sheep— There was an unusually large supply , again on Wednesday, over 2000 of all sorts befng penned, which being considerably in excess of trade requirements, J2oo.only were placed, the balance being held over until next week. Those sold reaUsecf, for cross breds from 10s to"2ls 6d each, jnerinoes 6s Sd to 12s <Jd. We, quote prince quality cross bred mutton 4d to 4Jd per lb, ditto merino Fat Calves—Only a few were penned, some of which we sold at from 22s 6d each, accqruing to condition and quality. Store Cattle of aU sorts are now being inquired for, aud we anticipate a good demand for this desz, cription of stock iv a month or six weeks heuceS We quote good weU grown quiet bullocks L 4 15s to L 5 5«, spayed COWBL3 to L3 los, mixed herds 4ua to 60s, according to breeding and condition. Store Sheep— No transactions to report, Hides are in better demand, and any prime lota of heavy weights comipg forward are readily placed for shipment at from Ws to 23s each, medium weights 17b to 18e. We have, during the week, sold several large parcels at above quotations. Grain of all descriptions remains without change, and few parcels are changing hands. We quote prime samples wheat 4s Sd to 4s 9d, ' medium 4s to 4s 3d. Malting samples of barley 5s to 5s 3d, medinm 4s to 4s bd. Milling samples oats 4s 6d to 4s fld, good feed 4s 3d to 4s 6<L We have, during the week, placed several lines at above quotations.