Winning in New York

Press, 7 October 1987, Page 20

Winning in New York

From

CHARLES LAURENCE,

of the “Daily Telegraph,” in New York

To many in the inconsequential world outside the Big Apple, New Yorkers are just plain rude. To those uninitiated in the commercial ways of the world’s richest city, they can also be slippery, devious and happy to bulldoze the innocent in pursuit of their Holy Grail: completing the deal and collecting the commission.

New Yorkers, of course 1 , don’t see it that way. It’s a tough city — they are deeply proud of that — and if you can’t hack it, that’s your fault. Loud, quick-tempered and ever eager to argue the point, they see themselves as merely "assertive.” Strength is admired. To be pushed aside in a queue, to give way at a traffic junction, to accept an insult without retaliation is the greatest failure.

It is something which is as much a problem for out-of-town Americans as foreigners, and learning to snap back has become a virtual rite of passage for newcomers.

For those who find this diffi-

cult, help is at hand. The Learning Annex, a New York catalogue dedicated to the marketing of such services as “How to Strip for Your Man” and “Speech for Success,” now offers a course in “Assertiveness Training,” It is run by Arthur Reel, a former theatre director, whose brochure boasts that he has helped "hundreds of people to face the world with confidence and success.” The aim is to “avoid being stepped on.” He lists the most vulnerable new New Yorkers as people from the Orient and rural America who have been brought up “to be very polite.” For SNZBS for a two-hour course, Mr Reel will change an that. The key is to “speak up” without actually starting a fight. Don’t worry about what the other person may say or do; don’t be afraid of making a scene; don’t accept the cold cup of coffee or flaccid salad dumped in front of you by the scowling waitress. In the shops, don’t be afraid to tell the salesman that you don’t

like the shirt he insists will win you promotion in the boardroom; stick to your line that you only wanted a lens cap, not a whole new camera. This may be easier said than done. Mr Reel draws on the skills of stage and screen to convince his students — his classes are always fully booked — that they too can adopt the big-city persona. But he admits that in trying to match New York assertiveness, there is a "fine line between assertive behaviour and going berserk.” With or without training, most newcomers quickly learn that answering rudeness with rudeness comes easily. The results can be surprising. Restaurant maitres seem to find tables that moments ago were reserved, bank tellers suddenly smile and find they can help, cab drivers don’t mind smoking after all and shop-assistants tap their foreheads, unable to understand how they miscalculated the bill in the first place. Welcome to New York, stranger, and have a nice day.