‘Elderly youth’ dance for spouses

Press, 17 June 1986, Page 10

‘Elderly youth’ dance for spouses

NZPA-AFP Jinan, China The gossip begins the moment the young couple step on to the dance floor — will they be whirling off to register their marriage soon? Three times a week the lonely hearts of Jinan, capital of the eastern province of Shandong, gather in a dance hall to search for a soul mate.

Most of them are referred to as “elderly youth,” people still single but beyond the usual marrying age.

Their search has taken on a desperate quality because several years have passed since they reached the legal age to wed: 20 for women, 22 for men.

“People gossip about a woman if she isn’t married by the time she’s 28,” said one of the organisers of the dances. The mildest criticism

will be that she is too choosy and alone because she has required that a partner be too rich and successful. The Young Communist League, the municipal government and the Jinan Women’s Union have been throwing the dance parties for just five months. It all started with the marriage bureau they set up in 1980. The shyness of the Chinese limited the impact of that experiment. Only 486 marriages “arranged” by the bureau had been celebrated by the end of last year, even though more than 4000 people aged between 25 and 40 had registered. “That is why in January we decided to start holding these dance parties, to allow amorous ties to be formed more easily,” one marriage bureau official explained.

Until then the bureau’s activities had been limited to organising

Sunday outings and offering ballroom dancing lessons. Now people can come to the dances and try to stumble upon a life partner. The atmosphere in the dance hall was meant to be relaxed, like a family gathering, the official said. Most of the young hopefuls sit quietly, clutching glasses of fruit juice, seemingly unmoved by the band’s modern sound.

Young women look away the moment they are addressed. The young men are only slightly more chatty. Yes, they met their partner through the marriage bureau. No, they did not yet know if they would get married. A young woman who teaches English in a Jinan college was more forthcoming. “I’m 35 and divorced. My husband used to beat me. I have an 11-y ear-old daughter. I’m here because I’m

looking for a new husband. In China, it’s too difficult for women to live alone.” The bureau has already presented her with five candidates. Tonight she came to the dance with a doctor she has known for a week who has already made it plain that he wants to marry her. She whispers that she is not keen, because he is too short.

Height is evidently a widespread obsession. The proof is on the registration forms, filed meticulously in the room beside the dance hall: a future husband has to be at least 1.7 m tall. A husband is often required to weigh at least 60kg — a weight which for a Chinese was a sign of good health, one bureau official said.

A husband is preferred to be older than his wife, but Communist party membership — often a guarantee of job success

— is usually not required. Above all, a husband must be . honest, hardworking, responsible, and have a sense of fun, the forms showed.

A wife need only be pretty and younger than the husband, the male applicants wrote. Most agreed on one point: they would marry a divorced person, but not if that person already had children from the previous marriage.

The success of the dances persuaded the organisers to throw them open, with anyone except the married allowed to attend, and not just those signed with the bureau.

Single, widowed or divorced people required only a letter of permission from their work unit.

With that, a photograph and a small fee a ticket is received which allows attendance at three dances a week.