Women are people, not pets

Press, 7 September 1984, Page 15

Women are people, not pets

pßeviewl

Ken Strongman

Isn’t it time this farce stopped? “Miss New Zealand.” Couldn’t New Zealand take a world lead and say that it will no longer stage such events? The aim could be for a beauty-show-free Pacific. New Zealand was, I believe, the first country to give women the vote. It would be very appropriate if it were also the first country to treat women, as people, rather than pets. One does not want to be mean. There could be one last, great show, won by Peter Not-a-hair-out-of-place Sinclair himself. The only part of this year’s show which was in any way worthwhile was the New Zealand Army Band, although even it looked a bit odd circling in the Octagon. The contestents were indistinguishable from those of any other year. With teeth clenched firmly together and faces frozen into the rictus of a smile, it was: “My future

aspiration is to.” Thenk yew.’ This year’s interests formed a pattern: aerobics, jazzercise and jazzergetics. No doubt next time it will be jazzabatics and jazzanautics. One amazing specimen with the general appearance and probable IQ of an alligator said that her wish was to be a top fashion model, an actress and to own a casino. How can such people be serious? Peter Sinclair was not quite his usual perfect self this year, although this might well be because the tedium of the occasion is getting to him as well. He said: “Behind me you’ll see this great barrel” — immediate camera shot of the Mayor of Dunedin. P.S also mentioned that this same “fair Mayor” ‘will do the draws.’ Later, he called on last years < winner “New Zealand’s leading lady of loveliness.” Of course, the least said about the final

mix-up which reduced the aspirants to even more floods of tears than usual, the better. No it really is time to call it a day. Antiques Moving on to more appealing matters, this week has seen the end of the pleasant “Antiques for Love or Money” (By the way, why not just “Antiques” or “For Love or Money”? Together they labour the point). The programme harbours a delightful conspiracy that there are enough things in New Zealand that are sufficiently old to speak of as antiques. '

They go at it like hammer and tongs (circa 1880), all talking together, insulting each other with gratuitous charm. The most common phrase to emerge from the general cacophony is “But that’s where you’re all wrong.” Occasionally they calm down when “a piece” is a bit Sotheby-like. Then, after a little reflection, off they go again, giggling at their own jokes. This week, two of their number were described as being set to examine an African stool. As it turned out, they were not reading the entrails — it was a stool you sit on.

Meanwhile, on Sundays at 1202 it is once again possible to spend an hour or so finding out what makes the British character as it is. “Big League Soccer” is back, with smiling Brian Moore introducing the rest of the world to the most important aspect of British

society, other than striking miners.

This is a world of instinct, mascots, lucky grounds, spitting, hugging, people being bought and sold for enormous prices, whistles shouts, mass singing which has nothing to do with the events at hand (or at foot), punch-ups and vandalism. In the midst of all this, there are some majestic sporting skills, by teams and individuals. Even if you do not like soccer, it is worth watching this programme occasionally must for the insights it gives. Somehow, midday on Sunday is a great time to watch television.

Finally, have you noticed the new Japanese advertisements? The technology may be good, but they will gave to pay a bit more attention to the verbals. One advertisement, for something or other audio, ends with the exhortation: “Why not nip out and buy one?” What can one say?