Irony In Outlook On Marriage

Press, Volume CVII, Issue 31384, 1 June 1967, Page 5

Irony In Outlook On Marriage

It was ironical that a girl would spend years training for a career, or a boy for a trade or profession, yet they entered mar- « riage almost without a second thought, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Christchurch (the Most Rev. B. P. Ashby) told the annual meeting of the Christchurch branch of the Society for Protection of Home and Family on Tuesday. In an address, entitled “Home and Family,” Bishop Ashby said that the basic differences and similarities between men and women, especially in the light of the changing status of women, should be a part of common knowledge and not just the findings of researchers in heavy text books “Child psychology should equally be a common knowledge so that parents can take practical steps to fulfil their children—practical steps like being present at the parties of their teen-agers,” he said. “If the parents are not wanted, there should be no party.” Discussing dating, Bishop Ashby said a group of parents in Gisborne had agreed that their children should always be picked up after a function or come home by taxi—never alone in the family car. "The lethal qualities of cars are not confined to road accidents.” To his mind, there was no such thing as a teen-age group. They were sons and daughters and members of the basic unit of society—the family. There should be proper preparation for marriage to ensure that couples had a much' firmer idea of its sanctity and permanence and a much more realistic view of

its problems and joys, said Bishop Ashby. “There are the obstacles to successful marriage that arise from pre-marital sex experience,” Bishop Ashby said. “This not only includes the alarming number of pre-mari-tal pregnancies, but the whole range of attitudes adopted once passion has clouded common sense and blinded young couples to the voice of wisdom and experience." Further, this was a matriarchal society in which the mother actively encouraged the daughter to date so that she might soon mate. “It seems to me that in many homes the father and son relationship is one of the most difficult, whereas the daughter readily twists her father round her little finger.” Bishop Ashby said that the changed role of women had to be considered. A woman was emancipated, often the intellectual equal (if not superior) of the husband, she wanted friendship, identity of interests and intellectual stimulation in her married life. “Or will she be another victim of suburban neurosis?” In spite of the present sophistication and education, the primal characteristics in the man were not far from the surface, said Bishop Ashby. A more intelligent use of them could strengthen many shaky marriages. “As we highlight the defects, let us thank God for the goodness that abounds in family life in our society," said Bishop Ashby.