IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXVIII, Issue 14275, 10 February 1912, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Mrs Scant: "Will you have another slice of cake, Robbiq?" Robbie: "No, thank you; mother said I must refuse a second piece, 'cause you mightn't have it to spare."—{"Judge.") "Is your chauffeur an expert?" "Vps, indeed," replied Mr Chuggins. "He can explain in a most interesting way exactly why the car isn't running most of tho time." "Sir," remarked the rich father to the suitor, "after the investigations I have made into your character, I cannot give youmy daughter Emma." "All right,' answered the persistent suitor. "Then how about one of tho others?" ' A man went to an insurance offica to have his; life insured the other day. "I>o you cs'cle?" the insurance ageic asked. '."No," said the man. "l>o you motor?" "No.". ''Do you, then, perhaps, fly?" ,r So, no," said the applicant, laughing; "I have no dangerous " But the agent interrupted him curtly. "Sorry, sir," he said, "but we no longer insure pedestrians." "A good turkey dinner and minco pie." said a well-known after-dinner orator, "always puts, us in a lethargic mood—makes us feel, in fact, like tha natives of Kola Chucky. ; In Noia Chuckv one day, I said to a man:. " "'What is the ; princioal occupation of this town?' " 'Wall, boss,' the man answered, yawning, 'in winter they mostly sets on the east side of the house and follers the sun around to the west, and in summer they sets on tho west ride and follers the shade around to .the east.'"—("Washington Star.")

•'Now/ Nora," ' said ' "tho departing physician to tho Irisli girl. , who was nursing a bad case of fever, '"if tht> patient sees snakes again, give him a dose of this medicine. 1 shall be in at six." -

The hour for his return arrived. Th<* pnj-siciAii onco more visited th<*\ sick patient, afid found liim raving. Ho had been so, said the nurse, for hours, "And did you give him the tuediciDO?" inquired tho puzxled doctor. , Nora shook her head. . - ;

"But- didn't I toll you to give it t:« him if lie saw snakes again?" demanded the physician, . •'But he didn't say he saw snnkes thi# toime. docthor." replied the mirso, con» fidontly. "Ho said he saw red-irhito-and-bliie turkeys wid straw hats .on!" —"Tit-Bits. ,, .■'"..•■■