IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXVII, Issue 14072, 17 June 1911, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Doctor: "Well, and did you take his temperature?" ,

,;W ; ife: "Oh yes,, sir. I puts the baromiter on 'is chess an' it goes up to very dry,, so I fetches 'im a quart o' beer, an' now 'c's gone to work!"— "Punch"." '

The Vicar's Daughter: "Why, Jenkindon, you are looking ever so much better than when I last saw you I"

Jenkinson (not to be consoled): "Ah, missy, but you should just see my poor avert"—"M.A.P."

Caller: "Snip and Co. have employed mo to collect that bill you owe them." Owens: "iou aro to bo congratulated, sir, on securing a permanent position."—"Wasp."

Spring cleaning was in full swing. I'haggs had, climbed over piles, over ebnirs, had slipped over a bar of-soap left on the top step, and had eaten a 'makeshift dinner aown the cellar unmurrauringfy.' But at last his temper sprang a leak, and for two minutes he gave a verbal display "that made the cat arch its back in terror. "You brute," sobbed Mrs P. "Before we were married you told mc I was your littlo queen." "That is so," Pha,<?gs admitted, "but when a man finds his 'queen' has Iwen filling his tobacco jar full of furniture polish he realises the beauties of a blessed republic."