IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXV, Issue 13342, 6 February 1909, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Customer: "Look lion?, waiter, I'vo found a button in. my sulad." Waiter: "Yes, sir, tbat'e part, of tho dressing." Cv.rato (at Sunday school): "Now, children, wo'll close with Hymn 589, 'LitUe Drops of Water.' Xow, do put a Jiftlo more spirit into it. ,, '•No child should open a book until ho is seven years ot ago/ , says Dr. Albert Wilson. It would be humane, w«> think, in tho caso of soni© modern novels, to raise the ago-limit to 100.— •'Punch." Welcome Change.—Tho Musician (presenting phi to): "With the compli-:ii*-nts <»f tho band, sir." Tho Visitor (taking the contents): '■Many thanks. It's not- much, but it's welcome* change after tho false note* you'vo been circulating for the last, iiulf hour."— "Sketch.' , A man who stuttered badly wont to a specialist, and after tou difficult, lessons learned to say quite distinctly, "Peter Piper picked' a pock of pickled ]icpix>re." His friends congratulated uihi upon this splendid ocb.iovo.mont. ■"Ye-5."' said the man doubtfully, "but it's »-6r-such a d~d-deuced iy d-d-d-d iilK'uH rcm-niark to w-w-work into an ordin-n-nary c-c-oonvens-s-sa-tion. y' know."—".Everybody's Magazine/ , A certain cottage and its old mistress had improved so greatly in comfort and appoeranco that a visitor shrewdly Kuu'uiiaed iliat the son of tho hr.u-so, a lr.3V ne'er-do-well, had turned over a nw leaf. He enquired about it. "Yes. sir, my son's in work now," i-aUI tho smiling old mother. "Tabes good, money, ho does, too. All he has t;> do is to go twico a day to tho circ.'.Ei and put his hend' in tho lion's mouth. Tho rest of his timi> '© 'as U> himself."—"Youth's Companion.' ,