A MOCK TRIAL.

Bay of Plenty Times, Volume XVI, Issue 2393, 25 February 1889, Page 1

A MOCK TRIAL.

It was au " off "day at the court, and there were few people about. They magistrate was in the country and was not expected until some time after the opening hour. For a time it appeared as if, there would, be no business, but presently a stalwart member of the force appeared on the scene, bringing a very seedy-looking individual from the country who had been "run in" the night before foe drunkenness. He looked exceedingly unhappy, and cast appreneive glances in the direction of toe bench, breathing freely when he discovered that it was unoccupied. Presently there sauntered in a young and well-known lawyer. He went over to the fireplace and got into a whispered conversation with the constable, who dearly lovecf a joke, and with whom he of the long robe had spent many a social hour. ""Waiting for a J.P. as usual ?" he remarked. " Tea," said the the member of the force, "or his Worship." " Too bad," said the lawyer, " to keep that poor devil in his misery all this time." ° Weiy ' said the than in blue with a merry twinkle, of his eye, " if you want to get him out of it it's easily done." A. flash of intelligence passed between the two, with the result that our legal friend stepped into his Worship's seat, and, assuming ■ a most judicial look, direefcd th&l constable, 1n tones of preternatural " gravity, to. read the charge. Prisoner was accordingly placed in the dock and charged with having been drunk and disorderly. He pleaded guilty. " Is there anything known against the accused ?" asked his Worship. " Yes, he has served sentences in various parts of the colony for arson, rape, and larceny." A look of bewilderment passed over the face of the defendent, and when he recorerd he protested that the constable must have made a mistake— that he was the wrong man, and had n«ver been in gaol. "Ah ! " said his Worship, " that's what they always say. I can see you are a desperate character, J^H :*"**- r o£^^^»xTrj^TOTSt0 £^^^»xTrj^TOTSt you be imprisoned <.ud Kept at hard labour for six calender months." " OhY my Cr— ! "ejaculated the despairing defendent, who waß so overcome that as he left the dock he stumbled to the ground. For the* additional offence he was called back and given another seven days for contempt of court. Prisoner was removed, and the acting magistrate vacated his seat. He had scarcely done so when its legitimate occupant arrived and enquired of the constable it there were any cases, "Yes, your Worship, we've got a dtunk," said the constable with unmoved gravity. The "drunk," on' being once more placed in the dock, eagerly informed his Worship that he had beeu tried already. His Worship looked at the man as though he doubted his sanity, but seeing the state he was in, discharged him with a caution. As for the inebriate, he cleared out of the court in the quickest time on record and has not been there since. The incident is a strange one, but it is of local occurrence, and its leading facts are strictly correct: The constable is no longer a member of the force, otherwise the narration might not have receivd the dignity of type, — Southland Times.