NEWS OF THE DAY

Auckland Star, Volume LXXIV, Issue 54, 5 March 1943, Page 2

NEWS OF THE DAY

More Than Hair ■ {- "Can you get a haircut on New Year's Day?" asked Mr. Justice Callan, when a witness in giving evidence in the Supreme Court said he had made bets on that day in the shop of a tobacconist and hairdresser. "You can get shorn of more than your hair," replied Mr. V. R. Meredith, Crown Prosecutor, who appeared for the police. Fisherman's Lapse Thinking a fish caught from the Onehunga wharf this morning was a piper although it had two welldeveloped wings, a fisherman of 20 years standing nearly brought a good deal of good-natured banter upon himself by displaying the catch in a shop window. He was amazed that the "piper" should have wings. But before it was placed for everyone to see, the "freak" was identified as a flying fish. Borstal Statistics When counsel in the Supreme Court yesterday expressed doubts whether a term in the Borstal Institute brought about the reform hoped for, Mr. Justice Callan said he felt bound to point out that official statistics published by the Prisons Board and Prisons Department showed that in the main boys sent to Borstal did not come back to the criminal court. "The system may not be perfect," said his Honor, "but I cannot have it criticised without pointing out that statistical fact." Ducks Attack Crops Complaints have lately been made by farmers in parts of the Ellesmere County about wild ducks in large numbers feeding on crops of barley and other grain which have been wind-rowed in readiness for threshing by the pick-up machine. One farmer said that his paddock was literally black with ducks in the evenings, and that he had been obliged to. resort to means of scaring them away. With wet weather constantly delaying threshing work the damage to crops is likely to become serious. Fields of garden varieties of peas are also being damaged in some localities. Leaking Water-pipe A small leak can do a lot of damage. One started in a pipe that fed a small tank attached to a watercooled refrigerator which served an upstairs Wellington restaurant which closed during the week-end. At a late hour on Sunday night in another restaurant below water began to seep through the ceiling, plaster and wallpaper. As no help could be secured, and the upstairs premises could not be entered, the leak had to be allowed to continue all night. By Monday morning the water had penetrated the ceiling plaster and paper and was pouring down in a dozen places, doing considerable damage. The Colt "The trouble," said the lounger in the greasy grey suit, lifting his "handle" to his mouth, "the trouble is that they make young colts like that chap over there, at the end of the bar, officers. Been nowhere, seen nothing, absolutely nothing. Then, still wet behind the ears, they give themselves airs." The barman polished a glass and agreed it was all wrong. The "young colt" at the end of the bar didn't hear—perhaps he didn't want to hear. He was Robin Miller, senior official war correspondent for New Zealand, back from Greece, Crete, two Libyan campaigns, two tours of duty in the Pacific and Guadalcanal

Sign of Coming Winter Aucklanders heard this morning for the first time in months the sound of fog horns on the harbour, as there was a mist over the water and some low-lying land areas. It dispersed quickly as the sun rose, and eight o'clock workers on the ferries travelled in the sunshine as usual during the summer months. Couldn't Get Round To It Unconscious humour was caused at yesterday's sitting of the No. 2 Armed Forces Appeal Board by the use of a malapropism. An employer was appealing for the release of an employee from military duty, and when the chairman of the board asked him if the reservist was married, he replied, "No, he's not married. He has an impediment in his speech." The Weaker Sex The tram was full. A young woman was standing alongside a seat occupied by an elderly couple. Instinctively, the man rose to offer his seat to the woman. However, he was forestalled by the elderly lady, who unceremoniously grabbed the tail of his coat and pulled him down again. Surprised, the man -turned to her, and she remarked, "They dress like a man, they smoke like a man and they drink like a man—now let them stand like a man!" National Savings Flags Last week 73 towns, including the provincial centres of Invercargill, Napier, Nelson, New Plymouth, Palmerston North, Wanganui and Wellington, were successful in attaining their national savings quotas, an increase of eleven on the figures for the preceding week. A gratifying feature of last week's achievements is the inclusion of a number of towns which for some weeks previously had raised a sum just slightly insufficient to permit of the flying of their national savings flags. Weighty Argument In a cloistral calm unbroken by the intrusion of members of the public, counsel engaged in the recent action for damages arising out of the fire at the premises of John Burns and Co. argued on certain nonsuit issues for nearly four days before Mr. Justice Fair in the Supreme Court. The unusually long hearing of argument ended yesterday morning. In this battle of legal wits six counsel were employed, and the authorities quoted in support of the various arguments advanced involved the use of over 100 volumes. A "Standing" Joke / This is a true' story concerning an Onehunga tram incident. An elderly man, who for the sake of the story will be called' Mac, had been to a meeting where he had punctuated his stories with glasses of the amber and white. The time came for him to catch his last tram home. This he did and, as a precautionary measure, he asked the conductor to tell him when he arrived at his stop. Everything in the tram was lovely until, at Royal Oak, a lady stepped into the tram and for a second stood beside Mac. He immediately sprang to his feet and offered the lady a seat. She accepted, and a broad smile spread across her face and also that of the conductor's. For the remainder of the journey Mac resolutely, gripped the strap. The next day he came into the city on an afternoon tram and the same conductor was on duty. He immediately burst into laughter. Mac, a little worried, asked what the joke was, and learnt to his surprise that he had "done the decent thing" in offering the lady a seat when the tram was empty!