THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 192, 16 August 1939, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

SEVEN AGES OF WOMAN. (1) The fbalbv. (2) The little girl.

(3) The flapper. (4) The young lady. (5) The young lady. (8) The young lady. (7) The young lady.

I■/ J j - —Koralle. There is a movement afoot in Chrisfcchurch to reintroduce the anti-shouting law of wartime fame. The suggestion has followed the recent increase in the HOOTS AWA'. price of ibeer. When the Act was previously in operation it- proved as futile a piece of legislation a 6 ever graced the Statute Book. There were, however, many prosecutions in Auckland and other centres for non-observance. The only law-a/biding city at the time was apparently Dunedin, for not a single breach of the Act was recorded there. —8.C.0.

Dick drops in this morning to pass along what he considers a- good ioke. It seems a friend of his owns a 6 dog shelved at shows in the retriever section. THE RETRIEVER. The owner has been for

a week or two training his piece of canine to 'bring the "Star" in each evening from the front lawn, and last evening the dog worked overtime and "retrieved" practically all the two-penn'orths of newspaper delivered in the street. At a house oppjsite where I live there is a fox terrier who could give the retriever a decent start and 'beat, him into the ground. The foxy's long suit is tennis balls. All you have to do is show him a tennis ball and off he goes. He visits every house, hunts in hedges, on lawns, and in a couple of hours will have collected about a bucketful. He would be a goldmine to a golfer.—Johnny.

THE NEW FINANCE. For* methods financial both novel and deft. Hats off to the bold buccaneers of the Left. Who cheerfully claim to be able to show How well we can live on the debts that we

owe. The millions that once were to Maoriland

lent On roads and on railways long since have

been spent; The roads and the railways cross valley and

hill, But don't provide much towards meeting the

bill. So now there arises the Taxpayer's Friend. Exclaiming. "This burden must come to an

end: Our Public Works plans should be mightier

yet. But can we bulldoze such a mountain of

debt? Can we on new luxuries lavish our pold If we are expected to nay for the old? Let's wipe out our debts with a stroke of the pen. And thus become free to start spending again. Who wouldn't be happy his pockets to fill Wl , . ™ oney that now meets our interest bill? And should that bright notion still fall rather flat. Let's borrow some more, and repudiate that." —SINBAD.

The garden is an interesting place, particularly the one which has not been cultn ated before. Mine lias been crying out f° r attention for some THE FINDS." time now; but with that

, . reluctance which characterises most of us where "the garden" is concerned, I found it quite difficult to make a start. However, recently I jumped into it. (Jumped is hardly the word, but it will «c j was un til the first of the finds, in the form of the spoutintr from some long-demolished house, came to light. Then followed rapidly rocks weighing up to half a hundred-weight, twitch (tons of it), pieces of wood and iron, old tins, two bulbs (unidentified as yet), pieces of roofing tiles and half bricks (probably used as missiles long years ago against serenading cats as numerous now as then). Regardless of hail, ram and wind, the thrill of discovery carried me on, every spadeful adding to the heap When at last I stopped, cold, wet and shivering, I took stock of my "treasure" with mixed feelings. All that remains to be done is to shift the Egmont of debris, sow a cleaning crop of potatoes, and after that a lawn, plant a garden—and chain m'vself to a lawnmower and trowel for the rest of mv days.—X.V.W.

_ tell you. boys, I looked like in one v this afternoon as I strolled down Queen Street wearing a new navy suit, bowler lid, brown WROWO -TTW Cal l gl ° V . eS \ I >atent 6hoes w Kuril* uri. and swinging a natty . . gold (?) mounted cane. Whilst looking in a shop window at the corner of an arcade a really lovely blonde, perfect! v groomed, came up to me lauehing, displaying perfect white teeth filled with gold. "Hello", Solly," she said, offering a tiny "gloved hand. I took it. (Perhaps holding it"a trifle longer than my near relative would have thought necessary.) '"I can't pla-ce you," I said, apologetically, "but anyway, "you're a good picker. 'Why, you old rogue, you danced with me five times at the Hard-up Ball." (I haven't danced since 'ninetv-four, and there's a tale hanging to that.) "Look, Sol," she went on, "I want some dinner, let's go to Hook's." "My dear girl." I expostulated, "you're mistaken." "Xo. I'm not." she replied positively. I took you for a lie-man directly I met you." "My child," I saicl, "I'm a poor old hvpochrondiac; evidently I must resemble one of your friends." "What's a hypocon-something?" she asked. "It means I am a leper and dangerous to come close to." "Good Lord," she replied, turning on her heel and walking away. I wonder whom she took me for. I feel sure she was a lady, because she was so beautifully dressed.—A.A.P.

Beer, it seems, will now cost us more, and herein the Budget do take a trend that touches the people closely, for a very lar<»e section thereof drink beer. BEER GLASSES. Xot, by all accounts, that they drink it as their tatliers did and their grandfathers in even greater measure before them, and it do intrigue me to ponder what these old-timers would say could they come back and look on the thimbles out of Which we now drink our beer. For, in their day, they had containers that were veritable 'bucket*. If the pioneers did do prodigies of work through the long, laborious days, in their leisure tliev did do prodigies of drinking, for I have seen some of the glasses that they did use in an earlier day, and many of our later ones would it take to make one of them. And some survivals of these may be found in the Wee' Coast "schooners," though mostlv they be kept on the shelf for show and may no longer be filled with beer for sixpence. But tile old miners, they do say, would have none of a public-house that did not provide them with these gargantuan containers, and would boycott all that adopted the new-fangled "medium" and the more genteel 'Hong 'un" of the bincities, and so the West Coast publicans were compelled to 6tick to them long after they had faded from the counters in the bi«aer places. For these huge glasses were born of a day, I be told, -when money was of little account, and the gold miners" paid for their liquor in the gold they had won in the ruo-ged hills and valleys, and would not condescend to accept any silver in change, and so there were big pickings for the publicans, be their measures ever so large. But now, it will seem, our modest measures are to shrink still further from which it would seem that the art of drinking beer, in the sense in which those of the olden days understood it, will soon have vanished from the land.—B.O'N.