THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 200, 24 August 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWS.) Touchstone" writes: It wu a pleasure to read the unmistakable word need recently in describing tie offence of a relief worker who had given false inF AMI LIES. formation about the number and earnings of his "children." Too often the word "family" is used w> indicate "children." "Have yon a family?" i~ a common question, and in that sense family means children. A man may be said to have died leaving a widow and a family of so many. Bnt broadly speaking , , familv means a group of person* consisting of a father and mother and their children, and therefore it is desirable to avoid use of the word where ambiguity migbi arise. A man might be asked about the earnings of his family and be uncertain whether the word included wife and children. In some parts of the world wives work as a matter of course. A negro in America who applied for a job a; a chauffeur was a*ked if he was a married man. His answer: "Xo. sir, boss, I earn my own livine." .

It is an extraordinary thing how people, perfectly hoses? by all ordinary standards, will nothesiiate to steal from the State. There are occasional exceptions. FAIR GAME. which are testified to by the appearance in the "Gazette" of the notification of the receipt of conscience money. The Railway Department, for instance, may receive from an anonymous donor the amount of a fare which bad been successfully evaded, or in some other way the State may receive belatedly its due. But usually it doesn't. If the culprit get*, away with it he regards himself as a smart fellow and will boast of his achievement, whereas he would hide hi 3 head in shame if be were detected stealing & halfpenny from a private citizen. Who regards "oeaiing the Customs* , as a crime? It i?. and the law will visit it with exemplary penalties, yet the temptation to sneak something ashore seems to be inbred. This roav be some surviving instinct from the smuggling days, when a considerable section of the population made a precarious living by getting goods past the coastguard without paying the stipulated duties. The sympathy of the bulk of the population seemed always to be with the smuggler, as witness tie epitaph in an Isle of Wight churchyard: To the memory of Thomas Sivell, ivbo ■w-as cruelly shot on his sloop by some officers of the Customs of the port of Portsmouth at three-quarters past three in ihe morning: of June 15, 1763. at the see of 64. leaving disconsolate a widow and child. The following lines were appended: * All ye that pass, pray look and see How soon my life was took from me: They spilled my blood that was so dear Upon my sloop just anchored there. But God is Rood and just and true. And will reward to each their due. Xowadays we havent any smugglers, and those who are occasionally caught sneakinz things past the Customs are not shot, but the mental attitude hasn't greatly changed. The Government is still fair game for anv man who can «%eaf it— BjQTS. They were playing penny poker. There were fire in the school and* for some three weeks on Sundays they had placed large dents in the Sabbath evenings, THE OTHER the wishes, of all running f FOUfi! akin? the same channel— hoping for the moment when they would pick up a "rooty-boo" and send tbe betting a]r>n«r. But rontine flushes do no; come along often, and when Sam picked up queen, knave, nine, eight of assorted suits he pushed a penny in the centre and drew one card. He got a ten. the middle pin, and was sitting pretty on a straight. Mrs. , who drew two cards, raised Sam's bet and there were three more raises before Sam thought it time to call a halt. "11l see you." be said. Tve got a queen-high straight." Tve four tens." replied the lady. '"Pardon me. Mie. , you have not." «»d S-am. ""Pardon me, Mr. ——• I have." "Youll pardon me again. Mrs. . yon have not.* , ''And you'll pardon me, Mr. , I have." '•You can't have," said Sam. displaying his straight. "1 have, one ten here." "I can't help that." said Mrs. . "I have the other four." They had been playing all the tune with a pack containing five tens. — Johnnv.

• Mention in this column the other day I about a mother who exploited—or rather attempted to exploit—baby shows in the days when baby shows were OLD TIMES. a feature of various functions, and the fart that the woman won two competitions with the wme baby masquerading one day a* a blonde and another day 3s a brunette and carrying off two prizes In the Azrirui-tnra] Ha'l brings ' back memories of tbe oW hall and the part it played in providing enterLa.inn-.ent for Auck!a riders when the uriter wa* a i.jt of a lad. when hi* hair was i.'aok. arvd when be did not have in pay income tax. The Agricultural Hail was fituate on the Cine Square site, and wanart of the city rnarket-s buildinc. Market day? were Tuesdays and Fridavs. and for very little money you could buy hfar-s oi vegetables or fruit, "bacon and even bird-. You can do most of tbincs in the markets to-day, but yon pay more than ynn did when eight bob a day was a gr>"d wnge. But to ret back to the Affricnhtiral Hall. Here the late Mr. John Fuller, father of a family that ha* coDtin-.ied to fijrure in the theatrical world, ran a vaude\ ill* r-how for years. Arti*«Ls came and went, all Uut one. Many will rememl-er Will Stevens, "the -heik." Will was a cornerman and was part and parcel of the show. It was here, or in a little hail, the Albert Hall. I tiiink it wa.s called, in Albert Street, that movins pictures were first shown 5-n-Anckiand. Both the A"rir;i!tnral Hall and Albert Hall have long since disappeared and more up to date and expensive bnild-nsrs now ocenpy the posit ion*. Mr. Fuller, or "Johnny." I as he was widely known, was a silver tenor. |and his favourite snngs were '"'vallv Tn Our j Alley" and "Geraldine." , He named*his home 'after the latter song. He and Wallace King wore two of the best tenors ever to sins in Auckland.—Johnny. BUDGET FOREBODDfGS. Walter is back and preparine his Budsret. Doubtless on lines that endeavour to please Great is his pleasure, but who can besrrudce it. After his arduous trip overseas? His to provide the finance of a nation: Taxpayers anxious'y ho'd now their breath: He seefcs nexu sources of r»air>]ess ti-xation (Beer and tobacco are both done to death>. Semple wants money for railwavs and bridtres. Fraser insurance for ace and ill-health: Guaranteed prices mav levv prodijrious Toll on the storehouse of rational wealth. Mavbe he"ll tax a bit harder the incomes Earned by ]o'i-.-suffer-:nc men in the street: That is the source from which most of the tin comes. For thev are experts at makinc ends meet Sales tax and wasre tax could scarcelv be hig-her: Customs may stand one more turn of the : screw. What if importers all rise up in ;re— Thev may not like it. but what can thev do? Xa«h has his problems: but i: wil" be funny If one boransa he fails to secure And to attempt to sret down on the monev j Xow beinsr made from the Sprinc-hoi; te'-rr.'= i tour - —SIX BAD.'

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. It vrere better to aooept it a~ it comes and be cheerful, whichever war the wind Mows, whether it be hot or cold! rainv or d.-v —,1 R. Miller. • " I TVell-arransred time i~ she suree-i mark of M well-arrajijred mind.—Pitman.