THE' PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 306, 26 December 1936, Page 8

THE' PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

I "Touchstone" writes: "J.T." asks if it is correct to say that vandals broke some palings from a fence. ITe contends that such an act is larrikinism rather than WHAT IS A vandalism, whies» means VANDAL? tlie destruction of works of art. The correspondent is right. Vandalism is hostility to or contempt for art or literary treasures 01 for the beautiful ill landscape. The Vandals ill the fifteenth century ravaged Gaul and overran Spain and Northern Africa. A vandal by modern standard is a ruthless plunderer who wilfully or ignorantly destroys or disfigures what is beautiful, venerable or artistic. Larrikinism, by the way, is a word that still lacks the hallmark of good English. i Part of my job a few years ago was to visit country districts in search of news of country doings. On one occasion C picked up a par which went someONE ON US. thing like this: "The many friends of Mr. will be pleased to know that he has so far recovered from his recent indisposition as to be able to resume his duties." This duly appeared in the local "buster." On my next visit I was met by an old bird who asked, "Are you the reporter of the ?" I saw fire in his eyes, so denied the honour, stating I had several times been mistaken for him. "I'll kill the when I meet him," said the old chap. I asked one of the locals who he was. "He'll kill you if he sees you," was the reply. "I know; he said so," I answered., "but who is he V" "He's the local blacksmith and at the time you wrote your par he was recovering from a fortnight's jag," said my informant. I didn't go back to that township for a while. —"Trebla."

And while on the subject of educational notices in tramears, why not have one showing our ladv friends how to pay the conductor \ with neatness and disFAIR FARES. patch? What a process it frequently is, to be sure! The sibilant voice of the fare-collector reminds the homeward-bound shopper of Transport Board necessities, and then commences the lengthy process of disembowelling the shopping kit. Out conies a cauliflower,, the bundle of 6d p.v. linen, the languid parcel of sausages or the aromatic smoked fish, then a copy of "Lovesick Stories," etc. How the eyes of the conductor glisten when finally he sees the first evidence of his demand —a sort of minor suitcase comes into view, and out of this, after removing (a) a looking glass, (b) a powder satchel, (c) a hanky, (d) a comb, emerges the real repository of the official anticipation. But he has no illusions as to the early finality of the deal —he knows she s going to hand him a £1 note, with a request for "One section, please!" And yet people write almost weekly about the innate savagery of our conductors! —L..

Amongst those who went in every evening for a lialf-handle or two on the way liome, the aloofness of the tall thin man had often excited unfavourable OPERATION FOR comment. Quite a SHYNESS. pleasant-looking chap, he seemed to he a confirmed "Jimmy Woodser," invariably declining friendly invitatio.ns to "have'one with us." When," therefore, he responded the other day to a casual nod or two by himself issuing the traditional invitation, the gathering was staggered. A Christmas miracle. More than one of the group thought immediately of Scrooge as a parallel case. They -were eve 1 ?? more startled when lie himself referred to his recent exchisiveness. "I have just come out of hospital," he said. "I have had an operation to'cure me of shyness." His shyness dated from the day when he —and many another N.Z.-er —fell perforated by German machinepun bullets halfway across Xo Man's Land. Doctors patched him up, but he came out of hospital as shy as a mid-Victorian girl was supposed to lie, and, though he fought to overcome the failing until he was often mentally exhausted, no effort of will would cure it. His self-imposed isolation was one long agony to him. uutil recently the doctors took him in hand again, put him on the operating table, drilled a hole in his skull and extracted from l:s brain a minute splinter of bone. And his shyness went with it. "An expensive operation," remarked Henry, when the tall thin man ended his story and tossed a .coin on the bar. "Xot very expensive." he assured us. "Xo, but it's going to be," Henry retorted drily, "if you keep 011 trying to sliOU f . out of turn to celebrate it. This one's on me."—I.INI.

The devil and/or the dogs seem to bo a lotig way off. For generations the world has been hurrying in that direction, with each successive generation TO THE DOGS, pressing a little harder on the accelerator. The season of homilies is round again—-that period of the year when it is the habit of the elders to arise and tell the youth of the world just how awful it is and how certain is the inevitable consequence. In their own far-away youth those elders were told just the same things by forbears who have 'gone on to a youthless eternity, and so, as one rolls back the years, the thing has been going on through recorded history. It may be that the genesis of the habit is* planted away back in the dim recesses of time when the first venturesome one left the arboreal fastnesses and started to walk upright on the ground. It persists so verdantly that something stronger than mere habit must be charged with its eternal perpetuation. The urge to reform (always the other fellow, and preferably the younger one) is obviously born in us. The alternative explanation is liot so flattering. It is surely that ago brings to all the realisation that a holy mess has been made of life and its opportunities —hence the wish to save the others from the errors that we ourselves have made and to urge upon them the proper performance of a job that we have ourselves performed but poorlv. hatever the cause of it all. we are right in the midst of it again. Every school break-up echoes with it, and all over' the country younger people are going through the tedium of giving simulated interest to exordiums that will be forgotten ere the inspiration that begot them is diverted to more useful summer holiday activities. Perhaps it is as well that the cloak of the prophet sits not on the shoulders of the men who give advice, or the world of to-morrow would be a horrid place to live in.—B.O'X.

"PADDY." There's a stalwart of the Coast. Paddy blioy. Who" is ever Buller's boast And its joy ; Striving, both with voice and pen For a mining boom again That a host of husky men May employ. $ Though lie's now so span and spick It's the truth . That he swims a wicked pick In his youth ; „ None the game to him could teach. For at mining lie's a 'peach As the voters show at each Polling booth. I recall when he was thought Somewhat Red : Iu a strike, he sure he fought At its head. He would keenly strive and plan. Kamiir: ot't official ban: Now a city business man See instead Ministers are somewhat grey. Often sail. ' There are few as you so gay To he had. For your elieeriness and pluck May von shook the nimble duck. And your horses run with luck, I'addy lad. ... - . —Sin bad