THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVI, Issue 307, 28 December 1935, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) A touching Christmas tale comes from Australia. A one-legged soldier had for many rears been putting up with Ins old artificial J leg—stumping and squeakTHREE LEGS, ing about in a noisy, uncomfortable way. He shouted himself a new artificial leg for Christmas, and left the old one parked in a corner of the-office in which he worked. An office mate, observing the reject, seized it, filled it with toys and sweets—and raffled it lor charity, selling tickets freely to his office mates, and one to the owner -of the discarded leo-. The owner of the old leg won the raffle.

The death at Home of Major F. A. White, a member o? General Birdwood's staff in E-yi)t during the Great War, is the reason for a repetition of the A SACRED WORD, fact that lie coined the word "Anzac" —the initials of "Australian and New Zealand Army Corps." The word was never used previously, but the initials were. In the South African War when Australian and New Zealand units left Capetown for the front, all spare kit was left at the docks, unfit men being left as baggage guard. These kits were carefully stacked, marked and guarded, and on occasions added to. On at least one kit were the initials "A.N.Z.A.C." (although officially there was no such corps). Some ingenious soldier had started something the world was to ultimately know about.

A beautiful American ship was in port, and a cheery little party of American citizens was giving Queen Street the once over. They were apparently led by LAD FROM a stoutish man in impecMANCHESTER. cable clothes—and he had evidently been valeted to the last hair before coming ashore. -An unintentional eavesdropper walking behind the party observed that the leader caught sight i of the Stars and Stripes in a shop window. He solemnly halted, and with him his friends. Standing to attention, he raised his hat to the flag? The three ladies bowed —the other two men uncovered. All passed on—and one thought the stout leader chuckled under his breath. An onlooker who had noted this gesture walked up to the leader and said, "May I ask, sir, what city in the United States you come from ?" And the stout joker, beaming benevolently on the questioner, replied, "You may —ah coom. frae Manchester, laad!"

A lady has returned from overseas to this, her own land. She has heard New Zealanders speaking on boats and finds that the New Zealand voice is harsh — WHAT'S WRONG? and we ought to do some- - thing about it. She is perfectly right. The New Zealand voice is harsh. It is also soft and smooth and high and cultured, sweet and low and everything that voices are wherever voices are heard. The New Zealander, too, is tall and short, heavy and light, has no real teeth or quite a lot, he talks like a Cockney, which is all against him, seeing that more British people talk Cockney than the rest of the race in the world. He has big feet and small feet, hie hair is finer and coarser than the hair of anybody in the world, he is blonder than some and darker than others, and he is a constant source of brotherly aggression among his own people. And in all there are fewer than three-quarters of a million of him in the whole world. Heaven help him, he has a harsh voice! It must be the climate or his adenoids or his training. At any rate, there's something' wrong with us, and the billions of the world are standing_ horrified watching the fearful spectacle. Do let us be quiet about ourselves for a bit!

Picnickers must have been 'boiling the billy on Table Mountain, the great charm of Capetown. Christmas Day was selected by accident for the burning THE PICNIC. iflf large pine forests on this remarkable mountain, and so everybody had a good look-see as they came out of church. They reckon Table Mountain—which really looks flat from a distance—gives Capetown rank with Rio de Janeiro, Naples and San Francisco as a worthwhile setting for a nice' dorp. This, of course, is the mountain up which the Duke of Gloucester climbed with Jantje Smuts,: who still climbs at the age of sixty-five or so. The mountain which has been scarred by bush lire rises in a dead sheer wall nearly four thousand feet high. Most people anxious to climb toil up the Platteklip Gorge, except in torrent time, when there is plenty of damage on a four-mile front. Other mountains are strewn about. The Devil's Peak and the Lions Head, not to speak of the Twelve Apostles, are strewn about. There are cable railways to take the traveller up the mountain and plenty of street trams to get to the foot, and when you get to the summit the scene is pretty marvellous. Climbing up Table Mountain isn't very difficult, but now and then vast clouds gather about the table producing what is known as "the tablecloth." Large numbers of people who have seen the tablecloth spread have not returned to earth for that day's dinner.

People of the utmost eminence come across the world armed to the teeth to take our sharks because they are a fierce proposition, swallow the most 'WARE SHARKS! violent ironmongery and drag loaded launches about for hours and hours. It is the primal ferocity, the power, the strength, the size that attracts man who has time to spare ,and the money to burn. And the quaint thing about it is that nobody ever gets eaten by the fiercest "game iish" in the world. Bathers, you will note, were "disturbed" by sharks in New Plymouth waters the other day, but not a shark breakfasted on a bather, and there must be a reason. An Australian shark will eat anybody and the authorities put up chain parks to keep bathers in and sharks out. Australian sharks are so keen on Australians that they burrow under the sea netting to feed on them. Boatfuls of men armed with rifles and depth charges sit all day killing sharks because sharks eat men. Do sharks distinguish New Zealanders from Australians? Would a shark eat a New Zealander swimming at Bbndi or Coogee? Is there something protective about the New Zealander? How would an Australian shark discriminate between a New Zealander and an Australian without tasting him? Have we an indicative aroma? Has Nature provided us against the attacks of sharks? Would New Zealand sharks (among the largest and fiercest existing) eat an Australian in New Zealand waters? Would he know t'other from which ? There is no record of any American being eaten by a shark in New Zealand waters. Are these mysteries capable of solution? Do Xew Zealand sharks get so much sea tucker tliat mere man ien't worth while? THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Nothing is so silly as to insist on being the only person who is right.—Due de la Rochefoucauld. What right have you, 0 passer-by-the-wny, to call any flower a weed? D.o you know its merits, its virtues, its healing qualities? Because a thing is common, shall you despise it! If so, you might despise the sunshine for the same reason.—Anon. Happiness is like coke;—something you get as a by-product in the process of making something else. —Aldous Huxley. Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy. — Shakespeare.