THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 247, 18 October 1934, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Dear M.A.T., —la your sapience you oft have truly said that contact with one's fellow men is a source of learning—"attrition is the word you use. Here "SEE-BERIA." is an example: Last Saturday evening I met a, charming Russian, ancl, in the course of conversation, I learnt from him that Siberia should not be pronounced as "Sy-beria," but "See-beria," while I, on the other hand, was able to tell him that "I did not know" should not be sung as "I deed-er notter know-er ; also that it was far, far better left uus-ung. Orpheus.

It was a motley crowd the police bad collected in a valley, where for Sundays previously all manner of persons had gathered to head 'em. The police had THANKS. cast the net well and truly, and the haul counted twenty-three. Next morning the courthouse was crowded, and when the fi of the sinners' names was called out by the clerk of the court there stepped forward a man whose nationality might have been anything except a Zulu. When asked to plead, he looked at his Worship, but said nothing. The magistrate asked the accused if he was a German, an Italian, a Russian, but the man answered not to all three questions. ' 110 use, sergeant)" said his Worship, "I can't make this man understand." Then to the accused, "Fined ten shillings." "Thanks, said the accused.

With the little finger of liis right hand lie flipped the end of his cigarette, looked down, brushed the white ash from the right leg of his trousers, and A BLUE ASH. muttered words not heard. in the best society. "Do you know," he then said, "there is a 'forcliur.' Wanting for the man who can produce a tobacco which gives a blue ash. Jlcn who wear the best and worst indigo serges would welcome such a cigarette with open arms, and the inventor would became famous and rich in a night." And he was right. Watch a man wearing a blue suit smoke a cigarette, and at almost every draw he will flick the ash, which stands out like a white collar on a negro, from his trousers. No matter how you knock the ash off, it seems determined to' finally rest 011 your clothes. It is too much to hope for an ashless fag—but perhaps one of these days somebody. will put 011 the market a cigarette producing an ash to match one's suit. The idea is passed on to cigarette manufacturers.

! Dear M.A.T., —The young and dashing men-who go in for riding over hurdles, steeplechasing, hunting, paperchasing, point-to-point racing, and traversing THE PROPER broken country in leaps SEAT? and bounds, are curiously

averse to laying down rules about the proper seat on a horse. They don't want to say anything different from their fellows, and as their fellows say nothing they remain silent themselves. In India, owing to the influence of His Majesty's regular forces and of the auxiliary troops, most people, whether in mufti or not, ride like cavalrymen. That is to say, they ride upright and look grand. But what if looking grand is not so nice for the horse, and what if it means a fall at the critical moment? Those who have not come under the military influence slouch in their saddles. Are such men better jumpers and tlirusters? I hear the reply that the military habit of the upright body is forgotten when it comes to serious jumping. I don't think so. Some of it remains, and that little something may often make the difference between getting your face scratched and keeping it whole. Do I mean, then, to say that the military seat is bad? Xo, I don't. It looks grand. A lot of cavaliers, fusiliers, grenadiers and carabineers will be down upon me now. What an exhibit to put up! A man sitting like a sack upon a horse with long limbs dangling like a doll's legs on each side of it. But if I rode now I would ride like that. Comfort, ease and safety first. —Safdar Jang.

If it's a poor wind that doesn't please the [yachtsmen, then equally it should be a poor downpour that does not bring a smile to the "brolly" makers. We THE "BROLLY." Aueklanders who like —or rather are compelled—to get out of bed any times between six o'clock and eight in the mornings and wander off to do our daily dozen-and thus keep the bold, bad wolf from the doormat, have no reason to be pleased with the recent winter or present spring. At one time Xew Zealand was known as the land of sunshine, milk and honey, but there are only two starters now, milk and honey. The Government Meteorologist can tell from a perusal of his records how many line days there were last month, but the average person can keep the tally in his head. With so many days and nights with Jupiter Pluvius sending it-down with energy only comparable, to a five minutes to six dash for a quick one before going home, one can imagine all the umbrella makers working overtime to provide portable shelter for' the human being. But it isn't so. For some reason- the "brolly" has lost favour with men, and of the thousands of males met with on the most atrocious day, those carrying an umbrella could be counted on the fingers of a sawmill employee, and he invariably has a couplo of digits missing.

All going well, tho Auckland Harbour Board proposes providing a fireworks display on the Waitemata during tho Duke's visit. When tho present King FIREWORKS. George, then the Duke of York, came along to New Zealand many years ago there was a very fine display of fireworks, but the one the Harbour Board now proposes to stage should be worthy of tho occasion, as it is expected to cost over a century of the best Reserve Bank notes. On the fifth of next month the board members can, if they fee] like it, get in a little practice, because the fifth is Guy Fawkes' Day, and people are allowed to commemorate the occasion when the chap mentioned tried to do to a British Parliament with a barrel of gunpowder what in more modern times people attempt to do with a lead pencil. Neither method has been successful. But it is in the East that one can see—and hear —fireworks. The Chinese from time immemorial have had a monopoly of the manufacture of pin-wlieels, bung-bungs, skyrockets and "fizzers" —the latter are the crackers that don't go off, and of which there are plenty in a twopenny packet. Tho Chinese believe, rightly or wrongly, that noise keeps evil spirits away, and if this is true, then there should not be a nasty little evil spirit within oceans of the land of tho mandarin. It is on New Years Eve —some time in February, according to the Chinese calendar —that the Oriental lets himself and his fireworks go in earnest. What with the bung of fireworks, the clash of tynipani, and weird music from equally weird instruments, there is every reason for evil spirits to keep well away from, the scene of action. ,

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. H© said not, "Thou fill alt jiofc be afflicted"; but He said, "Thou slialt not be overcome." — Julian of Norwich. To cure is the -voice of 4ho past; to prevent, the divine whisper of to-day.—K. D. Wig-gin. Anger is like A full kN(k \orse, who being allowed his way, Self-mof* S:s liim. —Shakespeare.