TO RAISE A SMILE.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 129, 2 June 1934, Page 3 (Supplement)

TO RAISE A SMILE.

(Sent in by Alma Hutchinson, ."::, Grey Street, Oneliunsa.) Smith was on his way homo wit'i his pew car, which was absorbing all bis attention, when suddenly it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted bis parcels.-and searched bis pocket bnnk, but finally decided lie had everything. When lie reached home his daughter ran out, stopped with a surprised look on her ' face, and cried: "Why, father, whore's mother ?" A clergyman expounding to one of bis parishioners the importance of parents being prepared to make sacrifices for their children's sakes said: ''In order to send my son to college I had to pinch like anything, but I, managed it." "Ay, yes, sir," said the "parishioner, ."but my husband's too afraid of the law to do anything like that." A negro was pleading his own case to save the cost of a lawyer. He called the chief witness to the* box and demanded: ".Vow, Joshua, where was I when we stole those chickens?" "What made you leave Mrs. Blak's boardinghouse after living there three. months 1" "I discovered that they had no bathroom." (Sent in by Sydney Skellern, Bryce Street Cambridge.) "I wish you -would look where you are going," said the important gent, who nearly collided with the coster's barrow. "Oh, yus," said the coster, "and who might you be. my lord?" "Well," replied' the other. "I'd have you to know that 1 can write 'M.P.' at the end of my name." "So can every blinking shrimp on my barrow!" snapped the coster. A prosperous-looking man was strolling through the park. Ho was hailed by a. friend. "Hello!" said the other, with a show of surprise, "what are you doing for a living now?" The first man took a huge cigar from bis mouth. "I'm running a grocery business," he replied. "And you're making a success of it?" put in his friend. **Yes," replied the grocer off-handedly, "in a small 'weigh'." (Sent in by Joan Leacn, T-orb.iy ; age 14.) "I think little Bobby's drum annoys the man in the flat above." "Oh, and what makes von think that?" "Well, he gave the dear little chap a knife this morning and asked him if he knew what was inside the drum!" Teacher: In what battle did General Wolfe, when hearing of victory, cry, "1 die happy ?" Johnny (quickly): His last. Entering the country post office, Pat asked, "Have you a parcel fur .Mr. Jones ?" "Ay, but how do I know you're Mr. Jones ?" Pat produced a photo of himself. "That's me, isn't it'.'" he asked. "Aye, so it be," said the postmaster, and handed pver the parcel without another woud.