A MODERN ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 129, 2 June 1934, Page 3 (Supplement)

A MODERN ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

(By Joan Faulkner, .Telllcoe Avenue. Tiiakau ; ago 13 years.) I, having read Wendy's appeal for Bunshine patches, was busily knitting by the tire. The wireless was on to 2YA, and the children's hour. was in full swing. At the moment of which 1 speak, an extract from "Alice in Wonderland" was being read out. Mechanically I knitted, listening with one ear to the story which I shall never grow tired of, and watching with one eye' our kitten Tui, which was playing vvjth my ball of wool. The other eye was rapidly closing, due to the warmth of the lire. Almost subconsciously I noticed thai Xny wool was in a hopeless tam.de round the table leg. "Oh. dear," I murmured drowsily, "I wish .1 wore smaller, that I Tnight be able to crawl round unwinding it without bumping myself." Suddenly I felt myself growing My wish was granted! Imagine my consternation to find myself SO small that everything else seemed to be huge. However, I noted my kitten was asleep by the fire, or I might have been mistaken for a mouse, and pounced upon by what now seemed a giant tiger, to poor, belittled me. "Ho, and what are you doing here?" queried a voice in my ear, and there ■stood the Duchess of "Alice in Wonderland." «I_ er —I'm knitting a Sunshine patch," I began, when the Duchess interrupted, saying, "Not a very good reason for being here, I must say; but what are 'Sunshine patches,' as you call them 1" "Oh, we knit them for Wendy to make cot-quilts out of, to give to cold and poor little children," I cried excitedly. ■ „ "Which rigmarole I can t understand, ipnapped the Duchess. "But I can tell you the moral of it," she began brightly. «E r —please don't trouble yourself. I've heard about your awful morals—or, excellent morals—when reading about Alice." "What! Alice, did you say? Do you Jcnow her? Is she the one that came iiere?" said the excitable Duchess. "Yes, she came here. I've read the [book about her," I replied. _ "Yes, and the moral of that is— she began, when I rudely interrupted, in an .endeavour to escape her moral, Look, there's a Pekingese dog coming, but 1 can only see its face. Where's the rest of it?" Then, suddenly remembering the Cheshire cat whose grin- was all that could be seen, I exclaimed, ' I know, it's like the Cheshire cat in the book. "Yes" si<dicd the Duchess. "The cats grin died, "so I bought a Pekingesemuch more fashionable, yon know. Just as I was digesting this, I saw the Queen, the King, the executor, and a crowd of people advancing. "Hi. what's this?" called the Queen. "it's a tiling that keeps talking ajbout •'Sunshine patches,' knitting, and cot quilts, miKcd up with poor children, and yet seems to km;'/ about us—even my poor Cheshire- cat's grin," explained the Duchess/dabbling her eyes, as she spoke of the wit. ~..', "Well, let's see. What's this about knitting'. Sunshine patches, cot quilts? A lot of nonsense, I dare say." "Oh, no," I cried, "it's the latest craze

; and —" , , "Wha-a-t!" chorused the crowd; •"latest craze? Oh, show us, show us." "Quiet," sternlv bade the Queen. "11l have all your wages cut"— which, by the way seemed as effective as threatening to execute them. Her Majesty, turning to me, said, "Now show me how to knit, ,or I'll have you executed."

"Yes," I said in a scared way, "I'll [Bhow you if you like." "Well, I do like," snapped the Queen, •"so get on with it." "Now, put the needle under the £titch, put the wool over, and pull 2t

! off," I said, demonstrating a* J spoke. "H'iji, that seems easy enough. although I don't see how, if you pull it oil", you can make anything. Put the stitch under the needle, put the needle over the moo!, pull the needle off," and to my dismay, she pulled the whole needle off the knitting, and as she was still pulling the wool, the knitting was quickly unravelling." "Oh, dear," 1 cried, "you've done it all wrong." "Tlierc, I knew if 1 pulled it off it would undo, instead of making something. But si ill, if it's the latest craze, I'll try again." "I'm afraid von ain't, until I've fixed it." ''How (hue you say J can't," snapped the Queen. "Off w'ith her head," she commanded. I quaked inwardly. The executor pulled out a huge fork. "Hi, you can't kill me with a fork," 1 cried. "No, but I can wake you up, lazybones," laughed my sister, and siie. withdrew the cold fork she had in her hand. "I'm glad you woke me up with that cold fork," I cried, and my sister has wondered why ever since, but I've never told her about the time when I was a modern .Alice in Wonderland.