RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 129, 2 June 1934, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.) Latest form of invitation card at Hollywood: "Admit bearer and one wife." More moa bones have been found in Canterbury. This favouritism of South over North must cease. Headline: "Busy Time for Judges." Wouldn't "Trying Time for Judges" lit the subject even better? Another headline: "Shooting at Lake Ellesineie." I sincerely trust the gentleman with the gun hit it. Further headline: "Port Very Quiet.'' So also. I understand, is champagne, Burgundy, hock, old brown cherry, and pink lemonade. I understand that daylight saving is to be abolished. The milk suppliers of Oteramika have decided on this. I wonder'will the five days week ever come? After that, no doubt, we shall endeavour to introduce the 1 five-day week-end. It is reported from Thames that a .schoolmaster.is living in a tin hut. This is necessary in order that the Tin Hats need not live in tin huts. It is announced that there are, a number of new telephone subscribers. One notes their thoughtful dials when the far too large' bill comes in. This is American, but it's good enough for New Zealand: "Advice to motorists. Just because you see it's track, it is no sign that a train has just passed." G. K. Chesterton earns a few shillings by writing on trains and other conveniences, "The only way of catching a train I have discovered is to miss the train before." ' The leaning tower of Pisa, in Italy, used to have an overhang of 10ft. Recent surveys show that the lean is now only 14ft. Mussolini can straighten out anything. It is anticipated that the current tourist season in Britain will attract at least one million Americans. What will become of the English language— goodness only nose. The rumour that the office clock has been stolen from an Auckland firm has been denied.. It is pointed out that everybody was watching it at the time it was said to have disappeared. There is no doubt that matters in Britain have taken a turn and that the under-dog is getting his share at last. The Old Country is to'have a new stamp issue—and the colours are to be richer. Large numbers of Scots are returning to Scotland from the great world since Uncle Sam stimulated the whisky trade. I understand the authorities contemplate creating a Scotland Yard in Scotland. ' A recent picture of a new Belgian king, clad in climbing gear and clinging to the face of a clift", rather suggests the old-fashioned idea, "What's good enough for my father is good enough for me." Mussolini declares that he does not believe in perpetual peace, "which is detrimental to man's fundamental virtues." It is also detrimental to the billets of dictators, their perquisites and emoluments. Karori (Wellington), reopening its soup kitchen, invites offerings of vegetables, etc., and intimates that old shirts and boots will be acceptable. It is understood that a Karori haggis is in preparation.

It seems a shame that a lawyer should have to knuckle under. I road that a'movie star who lost a law ease gave opposing counsel such a whang on the jaw that he took the count, necessitating surgery.

"A butcher, reputed sausage-maker, desires position in town or country."—

Ambiguous advertisement in Southern paper. It is not quite clear what lies under that fine shadow of doubt, the sausage or the butcher.

No, Horace, the rumour that I intend to set no a greater Hollywood or a larger Elstrce in New Zealand is unfounded. I learn that it recently cost an extra fifteen thousand pounds to alter a picture which a star didn't like. AVhen altered, the censor authorities wiped the lot out —a mere £100,000 worth.