RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 217, 13 September 1930, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

A cynical Conservative says that in appointing Seuor Ernesto Bosh to a post in the new Argentine Ministry, Democracy has for'once told the truth about herself.

"Does a hospital board's work tend to foster a benevolent appearance in those connected with it J" It's a matter of opinion, but one may believe that even a hospital board member is not a hero to his valet, or his wife.

Among the latest dances there is "a diagonal canter which suggests a sailing boat tacking gracefully against the wind." Something like the Saturday night stagger, perhaps.

"Marshal Chang Hsueh-liang, the Manchurian war lord, who was reported months ago to be dead, has refused a post in the Government." Perhaps he felt himself to be in a grave position.

No party seems to like the Unemployment Bill very much. Labour objects to the system of contributions, Keform opposes the sustenance clause, and the Government says, "If you can do better, go ahead." In these circumstances it is quite possible that the bill is an exceptionally good bill.

No doubt the Post Office will collect the 30/ a year per head for the unemployed? This is one of the "swollen Government Departments" that go on swelling, and are so roundly criticised by some politicians who have probably just passed a few more bills that have to be administered by someone.

After discussing the Unemployment Bill a dozen times, members of the House seemed uncertain whether to call tho board which is to be set up the Employment Board, or the Unemployment Board. Yet one imagines that the Rural Credits Board would have been less popular than it is if it had been called the Farmers' Debts Board.

We are indeed a most aesthetic people. Red or yellow may not in future be used for painting buildings, although, the City Council will not object to either colour being used in letters on a signboard. Until this month few suspected that our civic rulers had ideas on the subject of colour. Perhaps they have not. They have found something new to prohibit.

Fruit merchants giving evidence before the Industries and Commerce Committee, are unanimous in tho conviction that bidding at fruit auctions "should not be audible." It would be interesting to-learn from the auctioneers just what a facial movement or a gesture signifies at an auction. For instance, if a man raises his left eyebrow, does he find himself with ten cases of bananas?

A correspondent complains that youths are so lacking in respect for their elders that they allow elderly men to stand in trams. Bless me, doesn't he know that an elderly man would be mortally wounded if he was offered a seat by a boy or a youth? It would be visible proof that he was middle-aged, and men hate to acknowledge that. Only one thing could be more humiliating than such an offer by a lad—an offer by a girl.

Tho Auckland Public Library is 50 years old this year. It may be assumed that a large library such as ours buys and issues all the "best sellers," and all tho works of fiction described by American and English critics as "immortal" or "masterpieces." There must be, somewhere on its shelves, not scores, but hundreds of books which none of us can afford not to read. "Masterpieces" are written so frequently, these days that the reviewers have been dubbed the "Hallelujah Chorus."

The girl -who is supposed to have been the original "Mademoiselle from Armentieres" is dead. Th-e town of Armentieres ought to erect a monument to her memory. Scores of French war cities will be forgotten when. Annentieres. is remembered. 'The lady had another distinction. The song concerning her must have more "versions" than any other ever written. Some of them, it should be added, are not likely to be written.

It is not often that a conference of men spends time in choosing the right word to include in a resolution intended to express thanks; but the Technical School teachers, after discussing the Atmore Report, were most anxious to be precise. It was agreed that they should thank the Atmore Committee for its report, but suggestions that the report be described as "complete and comprehensive." "thoughtful," and 'laborious," were all opposed. There must have been many Scots at that conference; they were determined to give nothing away, even a compliment. But surely they could safely have referred to the report as "long." BOSH! Senor Ernesto Bosh has been made Minister of the Interior in the new Ministry of Argentina, following the revolution.

Buenos senores ! Gracias miraflores ! A word from far Maoriland, Ernesto ■Bosh. Senoritas, I greet you, oh that I might meet you On the banks of La Plata where brown ■waters wash ! ■ Come drink anisada inside the posada, Or, if you prefer It, a small lemon squash.

If anyone knows a select calaboza Where one might encounter the Senor B. Bosh, ', A little bodega where one might intrigue a Into the pulperia the push that is posh. O'er the brandy and soda, oh it would ill bode a Estrangero bloko to push in, by gosh!

Ah Dios, senores ! excuse this old bore; lie's A-trying to fish out some more rhymes for Bosh, A rhymster (like rebels) must stack up his pnbbles. And earn him his utu, his gonce, and his splosh, His bortdle on Friday (or 'tis but a dry day) E'en though lie is wearing his best macintosh.

By the plaza Ernesto, the -word is a presto, The trigger is pressed oh, oh Senor E. Bosh. In far off A'ew Zealand, the only real free land. We think revolutions are mere silly tosh; Instead of guns, yapping—and small harmless scjapping, Considering your methods theatrical bosh.

If ever I'm seen—ah ! in far Argentina, ' I'll certainly call on you, dear Senor Bosh! You express in a word, sir, some things that occurred, sir, In our very own Parliament. No! No! not tosh ! With these few remarks, sir (not intended for narks, sir), Adios—yes, and Gracias, dear Senor E.' Eosh. —C.J.